The Untouched Heart

Chapter 33 - The Problem Solved

Arriving home, I did not want to do anything other than go to the room. I lay my body on the bed. Tears flowed back down my face without my being able to stand it. It's over my hopes of separating from Hendra.

I have to live with him forever. Until I die, I will be in this house accompanying that man. Until the end of my life, I will never be able to feel love again. I will never feel freedom again. My life is over.

I hit the pillow as hard as I could. Idiotically. Why did he find the medicine in the drawer? I was stupid not to hide it well. Six years I've been doing this without ever being caught at all. Just because of an hour, my life changed completely like this. The annoying agreement letter. Now my family is involved because of me.

Hearing the sound of vibration from the bag, I wanted to ignore it. But if it was Hendra, he wouldn't be happy if I ignored his phone calls. I grabbed the bag. Looking at the name on the phone screen, I quickly sat down. Papa's. Why is Papa calling? Did something happen to Mama?

“Ya, Pa?” I said with a worried tone.

“Ara, you won't believe this!” said Papa who cheered happily. I stroked my chest, breathing a sigh of relief. Papa didn't call to give me the bad news. “Home has been paid in full!”

“And the funds for my operation are enough!” timpal Mama with the same tone. I can imagine them hugging each other across the phone. Even though I couldn't see it, I knew they were crying happily.

Just a few hours ago I signed the letter of agreement, your home problems and operating expenses have been resolved? Hendra kept his word. Zach's problem with the mafia must have been solved, too. As much as I could, I stopped myself from crying anymore. I don't want Papa and Mama to hear it.

“I'm glad to hear it, Pa, Ma,” I said slowly. Thank you, Hendra. My chest felt even more relieved that the matter had been lifted.

“We have to go take care of the house. Later we will tell you again,” said Papa enthusiastically.

“Good, Pa.” I put the phone on the bed after the phone call ended.

I have to pay for it with my heart. The happiness of my parents is not only paid for with my heart, but also with my body, soul, and life. Conversely, if I make even trivial mistakes, my family will also suffer the consequences.

What do I have that makes Hendra want me so much? Why does he hold a woman in his grasp, when he knows that she does not love him? Why isn't he looking for another woman? There are so many women who are fighting for his attention. He will be happier with them. Why should I?

If only I had the power to get away from it. Only this time did I understand how money and power could afford to buy everything. I don't have anything to get away from Hendra. He is definitely stronger in every way than I am. If I had a great job, a lot of money, influential people, I could have gotten away from it.

But which law will set me free? I was fully aware as I swore allegiance to our wedding day. I was also fully aware when I signed the agreement this afternoon. Zach or even a great lawyer won't be able to help me. I have to stay married to Hendra forever.

I just finished taking a shower when my phone vibrated. I put down my hairbrush and took my phone that was on the nightstand. Papa's. I cleared my throat slowly before touching the green phone symbol. I've been crying too much today.

“Yes, Pa? Is everything okay?” ask me while walking towards the clothes room.

“Did you finally decide to talk to your husband?” ask Papa in a cheerful tone. I frowned when I heard it. “She sent someone to help us take care of the house. The certificate of title is already in our hands again.”

“Thank you, Ra,” said Mom moved. “Thank you for talking about this with Hendra. We don't have to lose our house. I know that you're heavy doing all this. Thank you very much, Nak.”

“Ma, no need to think about.” I braced myself not to cry hearing Mama's sobbing. “Important everything is in order. Yes?”

“Iya,” replied Mama sobbing. “Has Hendra gone home? We want to thank him directly. We don't want to interfere with his work, so we're reluctant to call his phone.”

“Numbered, Ma. Later I ask him to call Mama, yes,” I said slowly.

“We'll be in the hospital tomorrow. Hendra has already transferred some money to finance the operation for the installation of the ring in the heart of your mother as well as other checks,” said Papa. “Hopefully the operation can be carried out immediately.”

“Good, Pa. I'll pick up Papa and Mama, then we'll go to the hospital together.”

“We can go alone, Ra. You better do your job as usual. We will contact you if we need something.”

“No. I'll pick up Papa and Mama tomorrow, then we go to the hospital together.” I forced. I heard them laughing. I shook my head.

I sat on the edge of the bed. My heart is beating faster. I took a deep breath and took it out slowly. Hendra will be home soon. What's he gonna do tonight? Will he be rude or gentle with me?

At six o'clock, I heard the subtle roar of the car engine. Hendra's home. I immediately came out of the sitting room and walked towards the front door. I have the hair and the dress I wear. The front door opened as I stood waiting in my position. Hendra came into the house with a cheerful face. I smiled at him.

“Hai, babe.” As usual, Hendra wrapped his hands around my waist and kissed my lips. “This is for you.” I rounded my eyes at the bouquet of white lilies she was carrying.

“Thank you.” I smiled happily.

“Beautiful flowers for a beautiful wife,” praise her while kissing my temple. “I'm hungry. Is dinner ready?”

“Already. Come on, let's go to the dining room,” take me. The bouquet I handed over to Yuyun who was already standing by my side. All the workers in this house already know the habits of both of us. So, they are always ready whenever we need.

We ate dinner and talked about our activities throughout the day. I also told him about Papa and Mama who called and told me about the state of the house and news about Mama's heart surgery. But Hendra did not say as much as he usually did. He seemed to be busy with his own thoughts.

When I entered the room, I smiled seeing the white lilies in the glass vase already placed on the sideboard. Hearing the door close behind me, I looked over. I approached Hendra and helped open his tie.

“Thank you. You keep your word. The house has been paid off and the operating money for Mama is enough,”, I said slowly.

“I hope you keep your word too,” he said coldly. I took a slow breath trying to calm myself down. It's okay, he won't hurt me.

“I promise. A, I will not reject you,” said I was suddenly nervous.

“Also no tears.” Hendra wiped away the tears that I didn't realize had soaked my cheeks. I swallowed heavily.

“I, yes,” I said with a vibrating voice.

Hendra lowered his head and kissed my lips. I hope he doesn't hurt me anymore. I haven't had time to return the kiss, she's distanced herself. I opened my eyes and looked at him confused. Seeing that Hendra was silent, I took the initiative. I unbuttoned his shirt. He held my hand, stopping me at the second button.

“I can do it myself. I still have a job. I'll go to the study after the shower. You can sleep first.” He stroked my cheek and then headed for the bathroom. I stood at my place confused.

Doesn't he want a child? Why wouldn't she want to have sex now? Maybe he was too tired? Or is he really doing a job? But never as long as we were married did Hendra bring his work home. Never does.

I may not have made a mistake. But what mistake did I make that he avoided? He won't make my family difficult, ‘ will he? Wouldn't it be if I made a mistake, then Papa, Mama or Zach would be affected?

Oh, naw. I have to do something. I can't make him angry and disappointed in me. I don't want anyone to get hurt because of me, especially my family. Hearing the sound of the bathroom door opening, I turned.

“A, have I made a mistake?” I asked as soon as Hendra came out of the bathroom. He stopped his intended move into the clothing room. He looked at me for a moment.

“No. Why do you say that?” He frowned.

“If I've made a mistake, I'm sorry. A, I don't want you to give it back to my family,” I said as I squeezed my own hand out of worry. He looked at my hand, then looked back at my face. His eyes softened.

“You did nothing wrong, Za,” he said slowly. It was the expression on Hendra's face that had always been kind to me.

“Good. A, I'll sleep now.” I opened my silk coat and placed it on the back of the chair. Feeling her hands wrapped around my body, I froze. He hugged me from behind.

“I never hurt you. Why are you so nervous and afraid of me now? Your body trembled like this. You really believe I can hurt you, Za?” hendra was sad. I just kept quiet. “I love you, Za. Love you so much.”