The Untouched Heart

Chapter 29 - Untouchable

“You call this love?” I laughed in surprise. He had just forced his will on me and was now transacting using the predicament my family was going through to get my heart, and he called this love?

“This need not happen if you try harder to accept our marriage. I always treated you well. I tried so hard to win your heart. But you don't want to give me a chance at all,” he said slowly. “I shouldn't have threatened to get your heart. If only you had given it to me voluntarily.”

“I beg. I don't want to have children.” This time I did not stop myself from crying. I let the tears from earlier urge out to fall down my cheeks.

“Why? So you can be free to leave me?” His eyes on me are still cold. No more emotions there. I don't even see the love that's always been in her eyes.

“Hendra, I don't love you.” I beg.

“I don't care. I'll never let you go. If you don't give me a child, I won't let you go either. Don't you dare step away from me. Or I promise I will make your life suffer, Za,”.

“My life has suffered. You succeed. What else can you do to make me suffer more than this?” isakku.

“What you call this suffering is nothing like what you will feel when you see for yourself how your family is destroyed. I haven't heard your answer. Do you want to help your family?”

Tears still fell on my cheeks. Of course I want to help my family. Why would he ask that again? But this is not how. If I agree with all the terms he put forward, then I can no longer get out of this marriage. What else can I do? And why does everything have to happen now?

Zach, why didn't he say anything to me? We can talk about his way out as a family. Why should I hear this news first from Hendra? How can I think clearly in this desperate situation?

“Good. My heart belongs to you,” I said at last.

Hendra's gaze softened. He stood up and approached me. I looked towards the door, I was eager to get out of this place. I pressed my body against the wall hoping that it would open and swallow me deeply. I closed my eyes when those cold eyes came back full of love just for me.

As we stood so close, I could hear her breathing. Then I felt her hands wipe away the tears and sweat that was soaking my face. He kissed my forehead, came down to my eyes, my cheeks, then my lips. Not long after, he did nothing. I know he's still standing in front of me. I opened my eyes and right, he was still standing there.

I frowned not understanding the meaning of his gaze. When she brought her face closer and kissed my lips, I placed both of my hands on both sides of my body, holding my own body from rejecting it. I have to get through this, for my family.

But he kept his face away again. He sighed softly and then turned his body. No. gabe. This can't happen. I need his help. I can't disappoint him like this. I immediately held her hand. He stopped his steps and then turned to look at me. I just stood still not knowing how. He caressed my cheek, then kissed me again.

Now I understand what I've done wrong with the previous two kisses. I'm not doing the same thing anymore. I kissed her back. And Hendra immediately wrapped both of his hands on my body. My heart was pounding the faster we felt our bodies this close.

This wasn't our first intimate relationship, but this time I didn't just give my body to her. I gave my heart to him too. I brushed aside the pain that was stifling my chest when I had to forcefully pull Aldo out of my heart. He can no longer live there. I have to give that space to Hendra.

And I was shocked by the sudden thirst that made me return every kiss of my husband. I hugged her so tightly not wanting to give the slightest room where our bodies did not touch each other.

When Hendra deepened his kiss, I replied with the same intensity. I entrusted my body and my heart completely to him. Until I finally saw the stars. His love words that originally sounded painful, now feel soothing. Is this what we call love?

It feels so much more fun than just having sex. And my tears did not stop flowing feeling the beauty as two different humans became one, breathing the same air, pounding with the same throb.

I woke up when I heard the bathroom door open. The smell of my husband's soap and shampoo immediately filled the room and seduced my smell. There were footsteps from the bathroom to the clothes room. I lay down and did not move.

My whole body hurts. My head was throbbing and my eyes were hurting because I was crying too much. My arm was also my wrist that he grasped so tightly while imposing his will was painful. I didn't feel it last night before I fell asleep.

But it was nothing compared to the pain I felt in my heart. Six years together, Hendra never forced his will on me. He is a gentle and patient husband. Last night he was not at all the man I've known. He was very rude, arrogant, and liked to intimidate.

This is what many people call the limit of patience. Knowing that his own wife had prevented us from having children, Hendra was on the verge of his patience. Were it not for his great love, I would have been kicked out of this house last night. It wasn't hard for him to let go of me and find another better woman. A woman who can love him and give him what I can't.

Love is not a difficult thing to learn. It was not a scary thing that I avoided. Why I chose not to love her or let myself fall in love with her is because I did not marry her voluntarily.

I was forced to walk towards the altar where the man had been waiting with a happy smile. I had to make my faithful wishes and promises on our wedding day. I even had to drag my own feet to get inside our new house.

“Build, Za. I know you're awake,” said Hendra threateningly. I opened my eyes. I saw him standing by my side.

“What's up?” It's actually a rhetorical question. I know what he wants.

“I need your help to install dasiku.” This time there was no threatening tone in his voice.

I tried to sit down and immediately held my mouth to not groan in pain. Then I stood up. She gave me my silk coat which I immediately put on to cover my nightgown. After tying the coat strap around my waist, both my hands grabbed the tie hanging from Hendra's shirt collar.

I could feel him looking at me when I concluded his tie. He looked me in the eye, my nose, then my lips. Finished concluding the tie, I raised my face. Hendra brought his face closer and kissed my lips.

“Did I hurt you last night?” tanyanya gently. I shook my head. “Are you sure?” He grabbed one of my hands and saw a bruise on my wrist.

“Iya. I'm fine.” I pulled my hand and tidied up his shirt collar. Hendra touched my chin and raised my face. I moved my eyes up and looked at him reluctantly.

“Love me, baby. That's my only request of you. Love me,” pinta Hendra half pleaded with hoarse voice. My tears fell down my cheeks without my holding back.

Only once have I shed a tear in front of my husband. When he cheated on me behind my back. After and before that incident, I always managed to hold back tears from coming out to be seen by anyone, especially by my husband. Now, hearing her beautiful voice and seeing her tender gaze, my heart melted.