The Untouched Heart

Chapter 238 - Repeated Again

“After we were six years married, our relationship has not been as good as it is today. I'm still being cold to you, as you can see in the early photos of our marriage. So, when I was pregnant with Hadi, Vivaldo suddenly came to see me.

“But at the time, I thought that our meeting was accidental. You're the one who then told me that he did all of that on purpose. Honey,” I touched her hand, then turned to her. I want him to know that I didn't do it on purpose. I wish I'd looked into her eyes, which I saw and she's already sleeping.

I smiled seeing his peaceful face. You stupid man. Why does he always think he's not handsome? Even when he lost his memory, he still thought so. I used to correct my words first. I said it because I hate it.

“Good night, baby. I love you so much.” I kissed her forehead, then put out the nightstand lights by my side.

Not exercising for a few days finally felt the impact. My muscles stiffened when I woke up, and I was getting lazy to wake up as early as usual. Wanting to sleep longer, I reached out to my husband. But my hand touched the surface of the bed.

I had to open my eyes and look at my side. Hendra was not lying in his place. I set my eyes around me. He's not in the room anymore. Where the hell's he going? Ah, is the situation better so she doesn't need my help anymore?

Let's not say he's exercising alone in the basement. I got up, cleaned myself in the bathroom, and changed clothes. She doesn't like me going out of the room in my nightgown, even if I'm wearing a coat.

Abdi greeted me and pointed towards the front room. His face looks sad. What the hell's going on? He opened the door so I could get in. There's Papa, Mama, and Hendra inside. My husband sat in his wheelchair, while my in-laws sat together on the sofa.

“Good morning, Pa, Aunt,” my bro. I approached my husband, but he didn't look at me at all. Wh why? Why does his new memory always come in the morning and I have to meet with that cold expression? “What's up, baby?”

“I'll be staying at my parents' house from today. Maybe for a long time,” he replied expressionlessly. I took a step back, struck with that sentence.

“A-what do you mean? What happened?” my question does not understand. “Honey,” I touched her hand, but she immediately brushed my hand away.

“I just wait until you wake up to say goodbye. Don't call or meet me. Do you understand?” tanyanya looked at me for a moment. I don't know what to answer. What did he remember this morning that he was so angry with me? No. gabe. He's not angry. That look, he hates me.

He moved his wheelchair towards the door without saying anything more. Abdi had been standing there, holding the door open. Papa caught up with him, and so did Mama. But he stopped his steps and turned to look at me.

“Prepare to divorce with her. This time you won't be able to take her away from me again.” My mother smiled triumphantly.

“What's my mistake with Auntie? I've apologized hundreds of times, what's my fault until a vengeful aunt like this? Hendra is sick, please, don't take advantage of his circumstances to separate us. He would be very angry with Aunt if he knew we were separated because of his own mother.” There was a sound of growling from the direction of the door.

“He will forgive me. Mothers and children fighting is common. I hope you won't complicate your divorce proceedings.” She turned her body, and walked towards the door. Ara barked loudly as Mama passed by. I was too busy with myself so as not to hinder Ara from doing that. My body is shaking violently. What the hell's going on?

Everything I can face. Hendra wants to be angry, to berate, to refuse my touch, I will accept. But I can't see him hating me like this. He who loves me, how could stare at me hatefully like that?

“Mistress? You okay?” Yuyun came near me. “I'm sorry. I should have woken up Madam when Mister asked for her clothes to be stuffed into the suitcase. But Madam looks very tired, so I don't have the heart.”

“Clothes? What outfit?” many confused.

“Master asked for her clothes to be put in a suitcase, Madam. Sir does not want to stay here again,” said Yuyun Lirih. Whahuh? So, he's really gone? I immediately rushed out of the room.

Hendra's Range Rover is in front of the house. Sakti and Liando were putting their wheelchair in the back trunk. Hendra sat in the back seat alone. I immediately ran to the car window where he was.

“Darling, don't do this. Come on, let's talk,” persuade me. He just silently looked ahead. “What do you remember this morning? What mistake? I can explain everything.” He's still quiet. I opened the door, but I couldn't. He locked it from the inside. “Honey, I beg.”

“I'm sorry, Mistress,” says Sakti. “I have to drive, please, Madam is not standing too close.” He entered the car, then the vehicle moved forward. No. gabe. When he leaves, he won't come back.

There's only one reason he could leave me like this. There was only one thing that made him look at me with those cold eyes. He remembered the day I slept with Vivaldo. I can't do this anymore. I don't want to be apart from him for years. Not after we expressed love. Why would he not want to talk to me about this before deciding to leave? Doesn't he love me?

My chest hurts so much. It's a lot sicker than when he found out he was struggling between life and death on the operating table. I know that if I lose him, it's all outside my power. But losing this time I can avoid. Had I been quicker to tell you everything that happened in our marriage, she wouldn't have misunderstood this.

But Doctor Andreas has warned us not to stuff him with so many memories at the same time. It could cause more bleeding. If so, what can I do? If he doesn't want to talk to me, how do I bring him back here with me?

“Mistress, come on, let's go to the house,” Yuyun asks. I looked up and realized that both of his hands were holding my arms.

“Yun, my husband is gone. He left me. Maybe he won't come back again,” I said slowly.

“We can talk about this at home, Madam. The reporters are not there, we should go in before anyone comes,” he said which makes me look around me. He's correct. No one stood in front of the gate.

The children wake up, I don't know what to say about their papa's absence. Finally, I lied by saying that she had to be treated in a special place to get well quickly. Maybe because they had felt left behind, they did not ask further.

My body moved all day by itself. I accompanied the children to play in the living room, had lunch together, and then took them to the park. After we had dinner together, they started to get sleepy as we watched the children's broadcast on television.

“We sleep in the room, yes, dear,” I told Hadi. He complies.

I purposely stayed longer in my daughter's room after helping my son sleep. I have no reason to go into my room. No one will wait for me there. I will not hear his dreadlocks, see his wet body which makes it hard for my eyes to turn away, nor will I embrace his warm body.

Why is it that when everything is fine, there are always new problems? Why do my problems always go around in Vivaldo again and again? Is there not enough suffering that I have endured to pay for my sins? Just one night, yeah, God. I slept with him out of my will on just one damn night.

I heard my daughter's bedroom door open, then something touched my arm. I who was sitting while hugging my knees was forced to raise my head and see Ara looking at me with her sad face. He approached and placed his head on my shoulder.

“She's gone, Ara. He doesn't love me anymore. He hated me for the same mistake. You're lucky. You don't have to feel the pain I feel now. So, do not approach any male dog. Stay away from them if you want to live quietly and away from drama.

“See me. Can only cry here, helpless to hold my husband to stay with me. I want to hate him. Stupid guy. I just got to know this guy who thinks using his feelings instead of his mind.”

I continued to curse her, swearing using her name to make my feelings better. But I didn't feel what I expected. I don't feel better. I was devastated to say all that, even if only to a dog.

My body moved back automatically the next day. I woke up early in the morning sitting on the floor near my daughter's bed with Ara. After helping Dira take a bath and change clothes, I headed for my own room.

Fahri has been very nice with cooking my favorite breakfast. Stuffed bread, peanut butter cupcakes, chocolate potato donuts, apple pie, orange juice, also sausages and ham. I tried not to cry noticing the empty seat near me, where he usually sat.

“Mistress, there are guests who want to meet you,” said Abdi who entered the dining room. I looked towards Yuyun. He nodded in understanding.

I stood up and followed Abdi towards the front room. There was a man dressed in a neat suit standing up to welcome my arrival. I invited him to sit back. He stretched out his hand, but I had to refuse. Liando came to serve food and drink to the man.

“Good morning, Ms. Zahara. I came to deliver important documents at the request of Mr. Mahendra.” He took out a map and put it on the table. I looked at him confused. Hendra always sent Mr. Oscar to represent him, why is this time different?

I took the map and opened it. As soon as I read the letterhead on the document, the tears fell unbearably.