Dear, Soul!!

Fauzi..

I couldn't possibly misrecognize the voice even though I hadn't heard it in a long time, I still remember it very much.

My feelings are mixed, on the other hand I want to immediately see that person on the other side there is worry and there is a feeling of anxiety.

"Fa Fauzi??" I'm trying to make sure.

"Well, Salwaa??"

Like a drama set by the writer and set by the director, I saw it today right in front of me. I never thought I would meet like this. He's the one I've been waiting for, he's the one I haven't seen in over 6 years, the one whose voice I heard last time on the phone and the last time I heard it in a short message is now in front of me.

I never made myself selfish to ask to be reunited early like this, I just hope that one day he comes to me and grants me the dreams he had designed with me. Unfortunately I think the dream is a dream at this time, a dream that will never come true after seeing someone at his side now and again they are already planning their wedding.

I was stunned to see him now standing right in front of me, although I did not see his face in its entirety due to the small medicinal delivery counter barrier but I could see how happy he was now.

My bone joints feel weak, if not for me who is working and now in front of the patient, maybe I have fallen down. But I have to stay professional in my work in front of patients and put my personal feelings aside.

It was painful, someone I had hoped for all this time, someone I had always waited for right now right in front of my eyes but was with the person he loved. Even more painful because I had to hide my feelings and show my expression that was contrary to my feelings.

"You work here?" Fauzi asked with a smile. That smile, the one I miss so much. Not just a smile but everything I have in him I miss. I really wanted to scatter and hug him to be able to vent my feelings of longing that had been stifled until now, but it was just a desire that would not be possible to be realized.

There's so much I want to say to Fauzi, so many things I want to say, so many questions I want answers from Fauzi but none of them I can say, I can say, just a smile back from his smile that he gave me after 6 years I didn't see him.

"I Yes, brother.." My answer is to try to smile.

"Little Salwa is now big, already working and looks independent.." He said to praise her by continuing to show her that sweet smile. Ah my heart ached when I could see it but could not do something even say a few things I could not.

"He he is.." My answer.

"You been here a long time? Mama said she never saw you here?"

Mama said? She's calling her mom now with Mama's call? Waitie? She said her mother never saw me? Is he still finding out about me?

"Ma Mama?" My master tried to clarify his words.

"Ah.. Hehehe yes, the habit of ngedenger Afifah call Mama, so sometimes follow along. But over time I'll call you again, hehehe.."

"You're familiar with this brother?" Ask Afifah who had looked confused.

"Yes, he was my junior brother in high school" Fauzi told Afifah.

JLEEBBW.. My heart aches more and more to hear Fauzi's answer, in front of Afifah he recognizes me more as his underclassman than as the person he once loved. Does Fauzi not want to think of me now? But naturally, which man wants to admit his former lover in front of his future wife.

"Yes akrab? How did he know you called Mama by Mother's call?"

"Yes that's how it is.." Fauzi replied smilingly as he rubbed Afifah's hair.

I've almost reached my limit seeing all this, I've had so much trouble holding back my feelings, and my tears?? Soon there will be rain on my face.

"Oh, where have you been all this time? Ma, uh I mean Mom said she never saw you around here?"

"Just a few months ago I came back here, I was studying in Makassar all this time and just came home after work"

"Wah Salwa is a great woman now.."

"Hehe neither does sister. I was, why is Mom asking me?"

"Don't know, maybe just look for a discussion just like me.." The answer looks relaxed.

"Oh that, hehe.."

"When you play at home, maybe I miss you"

"I am, brother..."

"Jeez, I'm bothering you to work.."

"What sis, Miss Afifah was the last patient today..."

"Oh, thank God, hehe because long time no conversation when you're working again.."

"It's okay, brother.. Oh yeah what about that other medicine Miss Afifah?" I want to quickly end this conversation with Fauzi, I can't take it anymore.

"Oh yeah, this is the medicine guy.." He took some medicine out of his bag.

The medicine given from the Clinic where it is examined is the same medicine given from doctors today only because it is produced from different drug factories so it has a different trade name and appearance.

I went back to explaining the medicine Afifah gave me. I'd love to explain it quickly so this ends quickly. I couldn't hold it back any longer, I couldn't continue to maintain my current professionalism because really my feelings were starting to get hard for me to control.

"How is Miss Afifah clear?"

"Yes, brother, thank you.."

"Gee Salwa looks so professional, I want to know how it can be like this.." Praise Fauzi.

"Hehe, all because you're used to it.."

"I'm sorry, there's still so much to take care of today.."

"Yes, be careful on the way"

"Okay, thank you, welcome back to Salwa.."

"Yes sis.."

Fauzi stepped away while embracing Afifah's shoulder, but his steps were restrained.

"Eng Salwa.."

"I Yes, brother.."

"When we meet just to eat together, we haven't seen each other in a long time.."

"It's been 6 years, brother.."

"Oh yes, it's been a long time. Let's meet sometime.." Take her with her smile that makes me miss.

"I am, brother.."

Fauzi.

Meet said? I will not prepare my time to meet with Fauzi because by meeting him I will get sicker.

Looking at Fauzi who was talking to me casually even taking me out, it seemed like he had forgotten everything that happened in the past, or rather mengikhlaskan because there was no way he could forget such a bitten thing. I still remember in my mind how Fauzi sent me messages and blocked my calls until he blocked my messages so I could not reach him again, she even moved out of the house she used to live in so I couldn't find her. As long as it used to be breaking ties with me, either because she hated me or because of something else. Why should I think about anything else while it is obvious there is no other reason Fauzi would do that than because he already hates me. It was a natural thing to happen to her considering how I hurt her first.