Dear, Soul!!

Guilty Feeling's

Fauzi was filled with guilt after turning angry and speaking in a high tone to his wife this morning. Time and again he lashed out at himself so badly and could not contain his anger. With an accelerated pace, Fauzi walked over to his wife.

The feeling of pain intensified when he saw Salwa crying while sitting hugging his knees. Fauzi further condemned himself for making his wife cry.

Fauzi accelerated, approached Salwa and hugged her.

“I'm sorry dear.pardon me. I'm sorry I'm angry, I'm sorry my voice went up. Sorry.”

Repeatedly Fauzi said an apology, as proof of his regret for mistreating his wife this morning.

Salwa was just crying, not saying a word.

“I'm sorry. I am indeed an ill-tempered husband, I should not be angry.”.

Fauzi's tears were flowing more and more, the pain and guilt that he felt at this time, not even redeemed even though he had apologized many times to his wife.

Fauzi took off his embrace, looking at his wife's tear-filled face.

“I'm sorry.” Fauzi wiped the tears that kept coming out of Salwa's two eyeballs.

“Ja-don't get angry.” The sobbing Salwa made Fauzi feel guilty.

“Yes no, I'm not angry, I won't be angry again”

Fauzi hugged the salwa back tightly.

“I'm afraid that you're angry..”

“Sorry darling.. Sorry.”

Fauzi took off his arms and wiped Salwa's tears.

“I won't be angry again. Sorry I did.”

Salwa nodded slowly.

“Don't cry anymore, I promise I won't like this again”

Salwa nodded again and slowly smiled. Fauzi smiled back and hugged Salwa again.

Fauzi did not want to see Salwa crying, he asked Salwa to stop crying, but she was still in a flood of tears.

Slowly, Salwa's clamoring voice was not heard anymore, but her hands were still warmly hugging Fauzi. while Fauzi, still could not stop her crying because of the guilt that had not been lost from her feelings. He further tightened his embrace, and would let go when he could already handle his feelings and stop his crying. But it seems like it takes a little while.

“Sayang..”.

“Hem??” Fauzi replied still reluctant to take off his embrace.

“Ka-you why?”

Fauzi was silent for a moment. Especially the meaning of this question Salwa.

Fauzi wiped his tears before taking off his embrace.

“Why what's dear?”

Salwa looked at Fauzi with a sad look. Slowly stroked Fauzi's cheeks and wiped away the rest of his tears.

“How do you cry??”

In Salwa's eyes, clearly visible his sad gaze mixed with confusion.

Unexplained agitation, again hit all parts of Fauzi's heart and feelings. Not to mention the pain he felt as a result of his defense collapsed when angry, now he is back in present circumstances where his wife does not remember what just happened. Just like a sigh, but his wife had forgotten everything. Forgetting what had just happened, and what reason made her husband cry sobbing in his arms.

Fauzi was increasingly unable to hold back his tears, all spilling without cue, without being able to be held back again.

“Honey.. You why??”

Salwa was getting worried about seeing Fauzi.

Fauzi simply shook his head in response to Salwa's question. Back he pulled his wife and cheated on her in an increasingly tight embrace.

I don't know what mysteries are playing in your head. All I know is, I hate his existence for easily retrieving your memories.

“A-me, I'm okay baby.”

Fauzi forced himself to answer his wife's question, despite being accompanied by a raucous and quivering voice.

“What's wrong? But you're crying??”

“I love you. Because it is too dear, I have to winiiss.” replied Fauzi tightened his embrace, hid the face from Salwa, and cried so badly. The maroon-colored pajamas Salwa wore, began to get wet with Fauzi's tears.

“Don't cry, I'm worried. If you love me, you shouldn't cry.”

Fauzi took off his arms, looked at his wife with his eyes still flooded with tears, forced himself to smile, if it could ease his wife's worries.

Salwa looked at her hand, and she slowly directed her to wipe Fauzi's tears.Swiping slowly Fauzi's tears while revealing her smile.

“I love you. So don't cry anymore.”

Salwa treated Fauzi like a mother who was calming her son, persuading Fauzi to stop crying in a painstaking manner. Fauzi just nodded while still trying to show his smile.

Salwa smiled back at Fauzi's smile, moved slowly around and rubbed Fauzi's back while holding Fauzi deeper.

Fauzi leaned on his wife, clearly heard the sound of Salwa's rhythmic heartbeat, making Fauzi feel comfortable and could slowly ease the pain that had tormented him.

“Honey..” call Fauzi after staying a while in Salwa's arms.

“Hem?”

“You ate out today?”

“Eat outside?”

Fauzi moved from Salwa's embrace, his eyes still puffy.

“Yes, we haven't eaten out in a long time. Come to restaurant.”.

The guilt and intent of wanting to make amends to Salwa, prompts Fauzi to take his wife out to eat. From what he remembered, they had not eaten together for a very long time. Fauzi's many jobs, and the holidays they use to visit their parents' homes, make them not have much time to eat out.

Fauzi is aware of the possibilities of something that is not good later. Salwa could have suddenly thought improperly or did strange things, but still Fauzi intended to take his wife out. His wife had been in the house long enough.

Salwa nodded softly with a smile, agreeing with Fauzi's invitation.

“Yaudah, now you rest first. I want to finish my job first”

“His work cannot be postponed first? We go now”

“Not my job that can not be delayed dear, but because it is still too early, not many restaurants open”

Fauzi who saw his wife's confused expression began to understand, that again his wife was not aware of the time.

“See, it's only 7 am” Fauzi said as he pointed to the Clock perched on the wall.

“Ah yes, still morn”

“Mikayla is not awake yet. So we have to wait for Mikayla to wake up first. While waiting for Mikayla, I finish my job first”

“Iya.” replied Salwa nodding understandingly with a smile.

“If you want to do?”

“I??” Salwa pointed her index finger at him. “I don't know.”

“You watch TV?”

“Iya want.”

Fauzi directed his wife into the living room, sat on the sofa in front of the TV and played a public broadcast this morning.

“Call me if you need something”

Salwa nodded.

Fauzi kissed his wife's forehead, then passed completing some homework that had been delayed.