Dear, Soul!!

The last..

A familiar voice, I knew him well enough despite using a different phone number.

"A Brother Farhan?" Manya make sure.

"Yes, it's me. Can I see you tomorrow?"

"So, we're over, brother, I don't want to be like yesterday.."

"Yes I know, I also realize what we did yesterday was a big mistake. I'm not gonna ask you to come back"

"Te continue, see you for what?"

"I want to say something to you"

"What's? Why don't you talk on the phone?" My toot.

"It doesn't feel good to talk about it on the phone, I need to see you all on the phone"

"You saying goodbye?"

"Yes.."

"Where are you going?"

"Hem.. Can I meet tomorrow? I really don't mean anything else"

I thought for a minute whether I should go or not. But Farhan said he wanted to say goodbye, if that's true it feels like I'm really bad if I refuse to meet.

"I'm it.."

"Are you afraid to see me?"

"Why should I be afraid"

"Well, why don't you meet.."

"Emh, yes I can" I said after thinking for a moment.

"Tomorrow we'll meet, I'll share the location"

"OKAY.."

"Have I turned it off, happy resting Salwa.."

"So too.."

Phone disconnected.

I've agreed to Farhan's invitation. Farhan really felt different than usual, if before Farhan would have forced me to pick him up.

After agreeing with Farhan's invitation, I became confused myself. Should I tell Fauzi or not? If I tell you the possibility that Fauzi won't allow me or the possibility that Fauzi will misunderstand me again. If I don't tell him, what if later he finds out from the others? it would be even more dangerous. Ah I dizzy myself thinking about it. I better try to see Fauzi's response first.

"Hello" Fauzi's voice sounded from across the phone after my phone was connected.

"You haven't slept?"

"And I told you, I have to finish the job first, baby. Why?"

"Ah no, I'm just having a hard time sleeping so call you.."

"Is there anything that bothers your mind?"

"Why are you doing that?"

"Yes, usually if you call these nights, it means there's something you're thinking about.."

"Emhh that.." I went back to thinking, should I tell you this or not. "I just miss you "I hesitated to ask.

"Really?"

"Yes.."

"Hem. I hope you really just miss me, I don't want to fuss anymore as you were yesterday"

Looks like I'll just get into trouble if I discuss this with Fauzi.

"No, you did your job first I want to get ready for bed"

"Are you really not papa?" Ask ensures.

"Yes, I'm not papa. I closed the phone first, excited about the task.."

"Yes, good night, baby.."

Telephone disconnected.

I threw my body into bed. Will I know Fauzi tomorrow or not? The thought of it constantly spinning in my head made it hard to sleep tonight.

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I got ready, went back to check my appearance in front of the mirror to make sure I look okay.

Last night I thought about telling Fauzi this or not and I decided not to tell him, Fauzi could misunderstand me again if I told him and yesterday's events could happen again, even imagine that I don't want to. I tried so hard yesterday to fix it, I don't want it to break anymore.

I arrived at the location Farhan was referring to. I entered a cafe, threw my eyes at Farhan trying to find him.

"Salvah.." Call him while waving his hand.

I walked towards Farhan's desk.

"Order to eat a drink first" said Farhan giving me a menu list.

"Have you ordered?" I asked without looking at it because it focused on the menu list.

"This is sister's message, I've.." I said give him a menu.

Our order has been handed over to the waiter, we have to wait for some time.

"Thank you for coming" said Farhan smiling.

"Yes.."

"I'd like to apologize to you before, for calling you today"

"It's okay.."

"I also want to apologize for everything yesterday, because my selfishness you and Fauzi so.."

"I've improved with Fauzi, so there's no need to feel guilty"

"I feel guilty anyway.."

"All is well now.."

Farhan was silent for a moment

"Where are you going?" My toot.

"To the province next door.."

"Stay there?"

"Yes, maybe go home every semester.."

"Don't you go to college here?"

"I quit, I'm going to college there"

"Why all of a sudden?"

"I think it's the best option, I have to fix myself. All this time I've been bad, from asking you to be my lover to holding you back from staying by my side when I know who you are and who I'm betraying" he explained.

I was silent listening to him.

"When I saw Fauzi's expression yesterday, I realized what I was doing. Seeing Fauzi's response trying so hard to hold on made me realize my mistake. I used to think that Fauzi would get angry and probably be rude to me when he found out about our relationship so I always prepared myself if Fauzi's fist would hit my face sometime. But Fauzi's response yesterday was completely unexpected" he explained.

Farhan paused for a moment, I just stared at him waiting for him to continue his words.

"Fauzi's response yesterday shows how mature he is in response to our relationship, your relationship with him and my relationship with him. I know yesterday he was very disappointed and certainly very angry, but he still held everything back because he saw me more as his best friend than the one who had taken his girlfriend"

I also realized how strongly Fauzi was holding back his feelings yesterday.

"I used to always ask you to be my girlfriend, because after seeing what Fauzi did to you I felt he didn't deserve enough love from the woman I love, I who initially wanted to give up on you finally decided to fight for you back because I felt I could be better than Fauzi who had rendered you helpless that night. But I was wrong"

I clearly saw a regret on Farhan's face.

"I'm not much better than Fauzi. Maybe we both hurt you but Fauzi is much more in control of his ego than I am. At least Fauzi never forced you let alone to make you feel desperate" he explained.

I just kept quiet hearing it.

"I'm sorry Salwa, I've really done you a lot wrong. I'm also grateful, at least you never told Fauzi all the same truth about me forcing you"

"What did I tell you about it, brother? It would only hurt Fauzi if he knew his best friend who he strongly believed could be as aggressive as his own girlfriend. Brother doesn't need to thank you about it because I did it not for brother but for Fauzi"

"Yes, I know" He breathed a little relief after saying everything. "Salwa, I want to end well, after all we were friends before. I realize I've been guilty of a lot with you and asking to end this is all right is part of my selfishness, but still I hope we're all okay"

"Yes.."

"What am I.." Farhan's words stopped seeing my phone that I put on the table ringing an incoming call from Fauzi.

I just kept quiet, waiting for my phone to die back.

"Why not get caught?" Ask.

"I don't want to lie to Fauzi anymore. If I raise it there's no way I'm saying that now it's the same brother, it could make Fauzi misunderstand again"

"Well, I'll tell you everything so you can go home sooner. Fauzi will suspect that you're not picking up his phone"

"Yes.."

"Eng.. Can I ask for help one last time with you?" Farhan hesitated a bit.

"About what?"

"Please say my apology to Fauzi. I'm such a coward, I don't dare to talk directly to Fauzi"

"Why? Fauzi won't be mad"

"Yes I know, I just need time to tell Fauzi everything"

"Yes, I'll tell you later.."

"Thank you Salwa.." Said smiling.

Farhan stood up "For the last time, hopefully in the future we can be fine" he said, raising his hand.

I'm regretting "Yes.." Answer smiled.

"I wish you much, may you be happy.."

"Me too, brother, good luck.."

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Hix.. Forgive me, today is late Up :'(