Dear, Soul!!

Unprofessional

I rehearsed many times, repeating my movements. Yes the sun is still not visible at this time, but I tried to get up early to eat my movements. I don't want any mistakes when I show up.

Today is the day that my friends and I will fight on stage to win the Traditional Dance Competition between High Schools. We've been training for quite a while, preparing all the gear including costumes and makeup for today's race. We always hope, hopefully our efforts the last two months with diligent training can produce good results. There is a saying, 'Usaha will not betray the Result' We hope that the saying applies to us as well.

I rushed down when my friends picked me up in front of the house.

"I'm leaving.."  The short message I sent to Fauzi.

8 Minutes later but no reply from Fauzi.

"You're coming, right??" I sent you a short message.

But with the same result, there is no answer.

I arrived at the race venue. The other friends are busy with their make up and fashion. Well, in addition to body movements, of course, Makeup and Costume will also be very influential on the assessment later.

I checked my phone again, hoping for a reply from Fauzi. But absolutely nothing, there was only one short message coming in from Farhan. "Eagerness.don't be groggy" Fill in Farhan's message.

The first performance has been shown from another school and now the second appearance is the second order. After this was the performance of our group, but I lost my concentration. As of now there has been no word from Fauzi, how many times have I called him but no answer. I had time to walk to the audience location just looking for Fauzi to be among them, but in reality Fauzi was not there.

My phone shook, I quickly opened the message. One message came in from Fauzi.

Arrived at our appearance. My concentration was a little disturbed, I tried hard to refocus, trying to hide my expression by always smiling. I don't want this sick expression to ruin my appearance and it will impact my friends as well. Like something was missing, like there was a big hole in my heart, dancing without energy. Ah, I'm only good at practice, not at the time of my current appearance. I'm really bad, I really messed up.

Our performance was done, no mistakes. It's just that some comments say that they don't find the feeling in the center, yes it's me. I deeply regret not being able to control my feelings, I am very sorry for not being able to be professional by ignoring for a moment my feelings at the time of performing earlier.

"Heyy.. It's okay, only some people whisper about it, but the judgment hasn't come out yet" said my friend trying to cheer me up.

I just smiled faintly.

"It is Salwa, do not be brought to mind.. Even if later not winning is not a problem, losing the race is natural.. After all, we've tried to show our best, if it's true we lost it's not because we performed bad, but because they did show it amazing" They all tried to cheer me up.

"But because of me, I'm the center should be able to give a strong impression, but instead..." I really feel guilty.

"Udah no papa, we all have no problem.."

"Yes right.anything that was blissful was not the jury, just a few spectators.."

They're really good friends.

In less than two hours, the winner of the race was announced. As I was worried, we didn't make the top 3. I was so disappointed, I felt as if making the hard work of my friends go to waste. I sat down and started crying.

"Salwa, it's okay, but next year we can join this race again, also not just this race that we can follow.."

"Yes Salwa, don't think too much about it.."

"Hikss... hikss.but because of me, because of me until we can't win today, because of meu...." I said sobbing

"Nobody's wrong with you Salwa, we're all fine with this, we've fought and that's enough.."

"Salwa, kemengan is not the thing we pursue.. Can perform well, can amaze and can make the audience clap it is enough. We dance not for victory, but for satisfaction and happiness we stand up and show it on stage.."

They took turns encouraging me. Trying to calm me down and make me stop blaming myself.

"Yes, now you calm down.." He said while giving me a glass of water.

"Hem. How about we eat.."

Ah, they still look happy even though we did not win.

"Woaah.. That's a good idea.. Okay.. Where's?"

"Cafe next to Maleo Mall aja, he said there is a new menu, the taste of the cuisine there is also unique, quite well will finish eating can shopping first just go home"

"Bahh.. Your idea was brilliant, son, okay goo..."

"Weiii... Remove your makeup first maemunah, don't be shy of the street in the Mall with your face like that ondel-ondel.."

"Well, go to the toilet.." Call him while pulling me.

I'm shaking..

"Why?" Confused ask.

"You guys go first, I need to calm myself down for a while and rub this swollen eye.." My answer.

"But the promise ntar nyula yaa..."

"Yes, I promise.."

"Okay, I share the location, I wait there.."

I just nodded..

"Salvah.." As a boy called out to me, I could not recognize his voice because my ears were slightly buzzing after crying.

"Why are you??" Ask worried.

I'm shaking...

"You go first.." I said to friends.

"You sure?" Ask ensures.

I just nodded..

"Emhh. yaudah we are first.. Brother Farhan, please help nenangin Salwa yes.."

Farhan only nodded despite still being a little confused by the current situation.

My friends passed away, I guess they had better go first than wait for me who was still trying hard to improve my feelings.

"Why you?" Farhan asked who still did not understand the situation just now.

I just shook my head.

"Heem.. You shook your head, but the truth is that your eyes are swollen like that.."

I just smiled wryly.

"Well, if you can't tell.. Just drink it.." Farhan said as he offered a cold drink.

"Thank you brother.." My answer.

"Are you upset about losing?"

I'm shaking..

"Then?"

I just fell silent.

"Losing a win is normal.. It's not something to be dealt with like this. It's also called a race, it's impossible to win it all..." Farhan said continuously blabbering.

I was silent to hear him speak at length, I knew he meant to calm me down.

"Oh yes.. Fauzi where? how not to look? " Said, throwing his eyes at every corner of the room.

I slowly came back crying, hearing Farhan's question as if reminding the cause of me being what I am today.

"Loh. Salwaa..." Farhan was getting confused.

I really couldn't cope with my feelings, considering that Fauzi not coming today really made me sick.