Dear, Soul!!

D-Day (1)

Farhan who had not understood why I was crying got more confused when I cried again. I was so whiny today, I ruined my own mood and made the people around me confused by my condition.

"What are you doing??" Farhan asked confusedly.

I just kept crying, I couldn't explain to Farhan what I felt and what made me like this.

"Salwa.. Am I mispronounced??"

I'm shaking..

"La then?? you??"

I thrust my phone at Farhan, revealing a text message Fauzi had sent before I appeared.

"Darling.I'm sorry, I can't come today to squirm you perform.I'm really sorry dear. My friend suddenly called me to do the last prawedding photo shoot today. I'm really sorry I couldn't encourage you even when your mom's dad wasn't around.. Sorry dear" Fill in the text message Fauzi sent

"Fauzi really didn't come today??" Farhan asked in surprise.

I'm shaking..

"And your mother's father can't come, either??"

I shook my head again..

"Fauzi didn't come even though he knew that your mother's father couldn't come?? Fauzi really.."

It seems Farhan quite understands my feelings. Farhan looked quite upset.

"Fauzi missed, is that as important as the shoot? Can't you postpone the shooting?" Fauzi sounded really upset.

I was just crying.

"Fauzi just sent that one message?"

I nodded

"No other messages? on phone?"

I'm shaking.

Farhan pulls the phone out of his pocket, trying to reach Fauzi, but Fauzi's number cannot be reached.

"Where is this child??" Farhan asked in annoyance and again tried to contact Fauzi.

"Do not, why contact. brother knows his number is not active" Prevent me..

I was still crying, it was hard to hold my cry.

Farhan grabbed me and hugged me, trying to calm me down.

"Udah Salwa, don't cry anymore. Everything is fine even if Fauzi isn't here right now.. Don't think about it anymore.." He said while stroking my hair.

My feelings are a little calm..

"Hopefully this is Fauzi's last time like this, don't think too much about it.."

"Dad is the same my mother does not exist, only Fauzi who I expected to come to encourage me feet.."

"The other friends also encourage you, there I am here too.. No, no more crying.."

I broke away from Farhan's embrace, I was also subconsciously in Farhan's embrace.

"You shouldn't cry like gini. You make your friends worry, make me worry and make your feelings worse. You should vent your feelings by crying, but don't overdo it. Your friends, they're so confused what to do"

Yes, I'm selfish.. I vent my pain by crying out regardless of how my friends feel. I kept crying like I was so hurt that it was not something I had to cry like this. Yes, I made my friends confused.

I was silent for a moment.. Slowly my feelings began to calm down and my crying began to stop. Sometimes I hiccup because my breathing is not smooth which makes me feel sad due to crying too long.

"Udah okay?" Farhan asked while giving me water.

"A little bit.." My answer.

"Take care of your feelings, I'll drive you home.."

I turned to look at Farhan, "Thank you brother.." I said smile. Farhan smiled back.

I don't want to make my choice go wrong. I don't want to compare two people with different personalities. Honestly, I find it very difficult to admit that Farhan has been more reliable lately than Fauzi. But, as hard as I refused to admit, it was ultimately a fact that showed Farhan was more understanding.

Every now and then Nina's words rang in my mind. Less than a week ago, my feelings were filled with Fauazi, I was like a lover who constantly fell in love with her own lover. But today, my feelings like that are gone.

"Let me drive you home.." Take Farhan.

I stood up, yes I think I should take a break today to calm my feelings.

"Oh yeah, where were your friends?"

"Oh.. Gosh darn.. I forgot.." I completely forgot, it's possible that my friends have starved to death waiting for me.

"Forgot what?" Fauzi was confused.

"So we'll have a meal together after this, but since I was feeling bad again so I told them to make a way first.."

"Well, this is from earlier.."

"So I can't go home with my sister, I have to follow them first.."

"Jaudah let me take you.."

"Emh. No need, deket why I walk faster.. I'm first brother.." I said the road was in a hurry.

"Salwaa wait.."

I'm looking..

"Out drizzle.." Farhan said while offering an umbrella.

"How's he?"

"I'm taking the car.."

"Thank you brother.."

"Hem. If there's anything on my phone.. If you want to go home tefon only later I pick you up, your father will no longer exist"

"Yes, thank you, brother.I go first.."

"Be careful.."

I smiled and rushed out.

They must have been waiting for me, I was too long drawn in my feelings until I forgot my friends.

True what Farhan said outside was a small drizzle, cloudy began to be seen in some parts of the sky but some other parts still look bright.

I was running small on the sidewalk, some pedestrians were also running around looking for shelter.

"Ah, my lower skirt got wet.." I said as I brushed aside my slightly wet skirt. "My body is also uncomfortable, do I change clothes first?"

I walked past the Cafe where my friends were, I continued to the Mall next door for a bit to buy some more comfortable change of clothes to wear.

The mall looks crowded, whether the visitors who want to shop or just ride shelter from the drizzle of rain outside. Well maybe some of them are like me, stop for a moment to change clothes.

I walk quickly looking for clothes if it fits right, I do not have time to just be picky considering my friends are waiting. But yes the name of the woman in the shopping place, there are only those who attract his attention. Intentions only change clothes but eye glances so fixed in a row of Accesories stores.

"Look around for a while, just briefly doanggg.yeah just briefly doang.." I said muttering reassuringly as I entered the acccesories store.

My steps stopped, it's a bad sight. I never thought I would see anything like this. I was shocked and could not say anything.

"Ozi..." Call me slowly.

I saw Fauzi looking at me with the woman standing next to him.

Among the many Accesories stores, why this store? Why am I so interested in this store even though my initial intention was to just shop for clothes. Is this indeed the instinct that brought my footsteps into this shop to witness that painful scene??

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Happy Eid al-Adha to the friends who call it :)