Dear, Soul!!

Privileging..

I just had an accident, grateful that I was okay. I was in temporary hospital to recover while waiting for the results of the CT Scan to come out. Farhan kept me company while Mom was busy taking care of my needs while I was hospitalized.

"Well, Nak Fauzi, just standing in front of the door? Why not come in?" There was the voice of Mother from outside who seemed to be talking to someone.

Waitwait.. Whose name did you just say? The fauzi? Is Fauzi out now? How long has Fauzi been standing outside? Did he hear everything?

Farhan turned to look at me, looking at me with a surprised look like I was being caught off guard and I just stared back at him with the same look.

"Fa Fauzi?" Farhan asked in a slow tone.

I just shakes unsure.

Farhan and I threw eyes at each other, both showing confused expressions while waiting for Mom to enter with someone she spoke to in full hope it wasn't Fauzi.

"Look who's coming.." Said Mother smiling sweetly stepping in followed by..

"Fa Fauzi?"

I could not hide my surprised expression. The one who spoke to Mom outside was right, Fauzi. How long has Fauzi been standing outside and my conversation with Farhan.. Did he hear that?

Fauzi looked tired and confused, making me even more convinced that Fauzi heard all my conversations with Farhan. What is Fauzi thinking right now? Please don't let Fauzi think of something I don't want.

"Ba how are you?" Tanya Fauzi was a little excited.

"Me, I'm fine.." My answer.

"Thank God then.."

Somehow I felt Fauzi talking a little awkwardly so we weren't what we used to be. I glanced at Farhan, he kept his head down.

"Son Fauzi how did you get here? Didn't you just go to college so you didn't come home this week?"

"Ah yes Ma'am, but my job is to stay a while and immediately book a ticket home.."

"So you rushed over? Oh my boy, didn't I tell you Salwa was okay.."

"Mother told Fauzi?" My toot.

"Yes, Fauzi was calling home because she couldn't call you so Mom said that you couldn't answer her phone anymore because she was being treated. I didn't know that Nak Fauzi would come straight here. Though I told you that you're awake and now you're okay.."

"It doesn't feel like you can calm down if you haven't seen Salwa directly.." Fauzi said a little forced smile.

"You are Son.. Your mother knew you were coming home?"

"Be haven't been ma'am because I was too worried, right up until I ran here so I forgot to ignore Mom.."

"Hem.. Let your mother know, son.."

"Yes ma'am, I'm sorry to go out for a minute. Salwa I'm out for a second.." Fauzi said without looking me in the eye and walked out of the room.

I'm sure that Fauzi overheard my conversation earlier. His attitude was strange and he did not look me in the eye at all. Fauzi also did not overreact to see my situation and again Fauzi did not touch Farhan who had just stood still. If not for the other thoughts, the real Fauzi would have already run up to me and scolded me with his worried words.

"Fauzi is really, could-can go home but forget to ignore his parents. It's not like coming home and running around here.." Mother said while tidying up the things she brought earlier from home.

"Mother why tell Fauzi.."

"Then do you want to answer, honey? Today is the weekend and Fauzi can't go home so it's only natural that he calls you on, I can't lie to Fauzi either. Hem I didn't think the kid would run around here knowing you were in the hospital.."

"Ah that.."

"That you should be grateful, dear.." My mother said approaching me. "You can't lose a guy like Fauzi, he left his priority there and ran around here because he was worried about you. Even her parents forgot to call. What do you think because until he's like that? That's because he loves you so much, son.."

I was silent, occasionally glancing at Farhan who was silent from earlier.

"Mother is as happy as Fauzi?"

"Which mother is unhappy with a boy who worries about his daughter so much? Your father was like that to me, so I know very well what it's like to be treated special with our partner, and I'm grateful that there are men who can treat you that way too"

I fell silent, the more I continued the conversation with Mom the more Mom talked about Fauzi, the more I felt bad about Farhan.

"Don't Farhan have one?" I asked Farhan, who had been quiet since.

"Do you have anything Auntie?"

"Women other than your mother.."

"That's.." Farhan looked at me as if asking what he should answer. "There's an Aunt.." Answer then.

"I'm sorry Auntie so ask about your privacy, hehe just carried away the same atmosphere as the previous discussion.."

"Oh, it's okay aunt.."

"So she's fine too, son, because women won't leave men who treat her special. Even if the woman left him only regrets that he will get later"

Mother's words like they were intended for me, I can't deny the feeling I felt a little sick hearing it. I thought about what if Fauzi really found out about my relationship with Farhan and left me. Is it possible that I will regret it in the future too?

"Yes Aunty.." Farhan answered, smiling.

Mom's phone rang, Mom left me alone with Farhan for having to answer her phone which seemed quite important.

Farhan and I were silent for a long time, awkward and we didn't know what to talk about. I know, me or Farhan have something to think about right now.

"It seems we were wrong.." I said break the silence.

"You mean?" Farhan asked me..

"Our relationship.."

"Don't talk weird.." Farhan said cutting my conversation.

"But brother.."

"Why? Did you think of your mother's words?"

I'm speechless.

"As your mother told Salwa, I'll treat my boyfriend special as well.."

"I'm.."

"Just yesterday you made me happy, just yesterday you said you love me and now..."

"I'm afraid of regret.."

"I won't make you regret staying with me.." Farhan.

I don't know what to say anymore.

"Salwa, don't think a no-no to our relationship. Now just focus on healing first, in the future I will prove to you that I can also make you feel special because I have become my girlfriend." Farhan said holding my hand tightly. I just fell silent.

Tock..

"I'm in.."

I pulled my hand from Farhan's grasp before Fauzi came in, Farhan took a few steps back from me, Fauzi walked in. What was Fauzi going to say, whether he was going to discuss about something he was listening to earlier or..