Dear, Soul!!
Been denied?
“I feel like De javu” Faiq said opening a chat at their lunch.
“Dejavu? About what?” Karin asked as she put the piece of meat into her mouth.
“Our situation now. Early know first, we always have lunch together every time we finish work”
Karin chuckled, with her busy hand playing a knife and also a fork to make smaller cuts of meat.
“Iya yes.. We've always been like this before”
“For example, we used to discuss things you want to know about business, now we have discussed the same business”
“We've changed a lot”
Several times Karin and Faiq decided to have lunch together every time they finished discussing work. The project, which was previously handled by Fauzi and is now handed over by Faiq, requires the two to meet several times. Even though the project is already underway, there are still some things that they have to finish together.
“How do you feel?”
“Pe-feeling what?” Faiq asked in confusion who got a sudden question from Karin.
“Not you still love your married ex? Already moved on, or..”
Faiq smiled, making Karin not continue her question.
“If you say sick, obviously still sick. I got like this for him, I did everything for him. But.. Everything I do for him, it will be useless if it does not make him happy”
Karin looked at Faiq for a moment. He never expected, a man so selfish once, could now speak like this.
“Actually I realized that I would not be able to make Sasa happy. I know our world is different, and Sasa will have a hard time accepting me. At first I thought, if my love would be enough to make Sasa feel happiness, I was ready to do anything for him to make him happy. But in the end I realized that love is not that great in maintaining a relationship. And me?? As far as I can do everything for Sasa, I definitely want my own life someday”
“If you know, you can't be happy with Sasa, then why do you keep chasing him
“Because I love her, my feelings are too high and ignore my logic. I'm like not sincerely taking off Sasa considering what I've been doing all this time for him”
“So, since when do you feel you can take off Sasa?”
“Entahlah.. I don't know when exactly. All I know now is that my feelings are getting better. I even felt relieved when congratulating him with sincere”
“So it's moving on now?”
“Hemm.. It says move on, not really. But it says not move on, nor does it. The point is that now I want to be busy with work. Salwa says the best way to forget is to get busy. He said it worked for him, and I'm trying it now”
“You've seen Salwa?”
“So morning, before I went to your office to discuss the project. I met him on the street, he sent his son to school”
“Yah's.. Maybe Salwa's way of working. Just try”
Faiq just smiled.
“You yourself how?”
“What?”
“Not you are also hurt because you can not find someone?”
“I'm fine now”
“Secap it?”
“Because I didn't drag you. I am just one-sided love, different from you who both love each other. And again he's a man”'s husband
“You too, why recklessly like the husband of people”
“Yes because she's attractive. From SMA, Fauzi always pull”
Faiq chuckled.
“What does Fauzi do the same.” Faiq did not continue his words, he quickly raised his gaze and looked at Karin. Karin just smiled.
“That's on your mind it's true”
“Uhuukk..” So surprised Faiq, he had to hold his breath because he was choking.
Karin quickly gave Faiq a glass of water.
“Thanks..”
Faiq took a deep breath, while trying to catch his breath.
“Se-seriously? The person you like is Fauzi??” Ask Faiq.
Karin just nodded.
“Wah.. I remember the words of Salwa, if the world is just as wide as the leaves of Moringa”
The two continued their conversation until lunch was over.
.
.
.
.
Day after day, Karin and Faiq met more and more. Now that they no longer meet because of work, they often even go out together just to spend time together.
“Why you?” Karin asked who saw Faiq not look like usual.
“Ah, it's okay” replied Faiq hiding what is making him confused at this time.
“Serious?”
Faiq nodded with a smile.
Karin raised her wrist, looking at the clock so beautifully decorated in her hand. Time shows at eleven o'clock.
“You have an appointment with someone else today?” Guess Karin
“Ah no.. I can't possibly invite you out this morning right if for example I have an appointment with someone else”
“Terus why? You were restless.”
“I'm fine..”
Karin had no idea what was bothering Faiq's mind. He had asked Faiq about what made him uncomfortable, but Faiq continued to say that everything was fine.
“Karin.”
“Hem?”
“Se-besides Fauzi, you like each other again?”
“You mean?”
“Eng.. I mean, after Fauzi, is there anyone else you like now”
Karin laughed a little.
“I'm too old to try to like each other again. Yeah, I'm just living my life now. I'm fine even though myself”
“So you don't think of getting married again?”
Karin shakes.
“You don't want to marry again??”
“Not that I said I didn't want to, just if I said think about it, I don't think too much. After all I have married you before, at least I've never fancied how it feels to be a bride”
“Oh so..”
“Why? How come suddenly nanya?”
“So, I just want to know”
“If you? Want to get married again?”
“Entah, I was steady to marry again, but listen to your answer I was thinking”
“Hey, why follow me. If you really want to marry, marry again. You do need a companion right.”
“I hesitate to say...”
“Say the same girl?”
Faiq nodded.
“Udah, feel free.. Tell me, you did it for a good thing. I could also think of getting married again, someday”
“Karin?”
“Hem?”
“A-me... I intend to bed you again”
“Ha?” Spontaneous Karin fell silent with her surprised expression. He couldn't believe what he had just heard.
“A-I know.. I'm not a good man, I also realize that I shouldn't ask you to be my wife again, given what happened before. But.. Lately, I've been feeling that..”.
“You didn't forget what you did the same to me, did you?”
Faiq bowed deeply, he felt like a shameless depraved man. Slowly he nodded at Karin's question.
“I won't be able to hurt you again like you used to be Faiq. So please rethink what you're saying now. Make sure to repeat in your heart, if you really talk this according to your feelings”
“Yes, I realized I wasn't supposed to be like this. But.”
“I didn't you make an impingement, did you, because the person you love is already married?”
“Mr... No Karin, I.”
“But you said earlier, if you still love him.”
“Not that feeling, but.”
“Faiq, rethink what you said today.”
Karin moved from her seat. “I go first, you need yourself to realize what you feel”
“Karin.”
Karin smiled and left Faiq alone. Faiq just fell silent in his place, he did not know what to do now.
