Dear, Soul!!

Flashback: Story of Faiq & Karin (5)

Faiq, who was stuck with his own trick, managed to get approval from Karin to meet this afternoon. He finally managed to find a bad story about him that he would tell Karin, so that the woman who is a little influential in the business world in his territory because of his father, the father, can look at it negatively so choose the path not to know him further.

But what Faiq did not expect was, Karin's response was not in accordance with his expectations. The woman did not give a bad response as she expected, but rather an understanding, as if she understood the condition of Faiq.

Seeing that, Faiq again mentioned negative things about him, even though it was something he never did at all. Previously he found Karin's response so surprised after he said his lie, he had said the word ‘get’ in heart. But again, the results he got, not what he wanted.

Intentionally, Faiq wanted to surprise Karin and look at her badly, but she was surprised by Karin's response.

“Why?” Faiq asked after Karin said only the word ‘squap’ which she slipped on her negative view.

“Yes because I'm not you”

“You mean??”

“I wasn't you in your position back then”

Faiq looked at Karin with his confused gaze, he did not understand what Karin was saying and was confused by Karin's pattern and way of thinking.

“Everyone has their own way of living their life, including expressing anger or stress. Maybe only such a thing can you make the impingement of that time. I do not justify your clearly wrong choice, but come back as I said, if I am not you in your time position. You were stressed and upset because your father required you to go to college there, so you were blind to your steps and offended to do negative things like this” explained Karin with understanding.

Faiq was stunned to hear Karin's explanation. “Did he always think far like this?”

“Ja-so what kind of person do you think I am, once you know I am the person with the trail of such a bad move”

“Hebat” replied Karin firmly with a smile that decorated her lips covered with nude lipstick.

“Great??”

“Yes, you are a great person. You were in such a bad state once, your company was bad and your behavior was also bad. But you slowly step your foot out of there and fight to be in your current position. Successful people from the beginning clearly have differences with people who have previously been mired then choose to rise and start everything from zero” explained Karin.

Although his desire to make Karin think negatively about her was not achieved, Faiq was not entirely filled with sadness, but there was a sense of sadness that began to touch his heart to hear Karin's answer with his broad and understanding mind. Slowly Faiq held a sense of admiration for Karin's broad thinking, as well as Karin who looked at things not from one direction only.

Faiq averted his eyes, he was still trying to digest better what Karin said, also thinking what kind of response he would give Karin next.

“So you don't judge me negatively at all?”

“What right do I have to judge you like that? That's your life, and you know what you've been through. Even if I think negatively about you, what right do I have to say that, and you don't have to think about my views, right?”

Faiq fell silent again for a moment, his failed plan was no longer the top priority he was thinking about right now.

“Ka-if.. I'm just giving you an example, just something that would have been. Like you get a guy like me later, what do you think?”

“I? Yes I am grateful, because it can be the same successful person”

“You don't care about my bad past?”

Karin fixed her sitting position, slightly shifting her body so that it faced right with Faiq.

“Faiq, the man is not judged by his past, but what is seen from the man is his future and his responsibilities. No matter how bad your past is, if you change now, it will have no effect. In fact, it is a positive point because you managed to escape from the negative snares that used to bind you. Different with us women”

“Different?”

“Yes... I don't think that man is judged by his past because what he sees is his future. Unlike women, what is seen is his past even though his future also remains a reference. No one knows about the future, and women have the right to bury their past and start a new life. But women, what has happened to her life in the past, will be the consideration of others when she wants something to do in the future”

“Why is that?”

Faiq could not deny, in addition to the sense of excitement he had previously encountered from Karin, now he was also made to giggle in awe, with Karin's broad way of thinking. Although Karin is a child who is spoiled by her parents, but it is not the thing that makes her a woman with shallow thoughts.

“I feel appreciated.”

Both of Karin's eyebrows were etched beautifully, wrinkled to hear what Faiq said. Again he failed to understand what the meaning of Faiq's words was.

“Appreciated?”

“Iya.. You could see things from my point of view back then, and could position yourself as me then. You do not necessarily judge me because of my mistakes, but can understand my circumstances”

Faiq bowed with his faint smile.

“I guess, you'll dodge after knowing what I used to be like, but it turns out..”.

“Ck, why shallow-minded so anyway?”

“Entahlah..” Faiq smiled smrik.

“Actually, you yourself have no right to judge yourself badly, you should praise yourself for being the person you are today. You have to love yourself and try to be better than you were before. Ck, what the heck I am, already like Mario is firm just pretentious make sage” said Karin followed by her laugh.

Faiq glanced at Karin who was laughing crisply, he never expected that the woman sitting next to him turned out to have quite a broad thought.

Starting at night, Karin and Faiq finally left the place where the two had dissolved in chatter with a bit of melodrama. The plan had obviously failed again, but it did not make Faiq feel upset about it. On the contrary, he who knows the other side of Karin, makes her feel comfortable and a little relieved to have told her about her dark period and got a different response from others.

Faiq felt support and encouragement to get better after hearing the wise answer from Karin, there was a sense of appreciation and haru that slowly enveloped his heart.

.

.

.

.

The tall body he threw on a soft mattress with a plain gray bedcover. His eyes were busy looking at the ceiling of the room without a specific object in focus. His mind wanders in search of something he does not know, until it finally returns after his memory touches Sasa, the figure of the woman who became the queen in his last few years.

“If Sasa knows how I used to be, will he still be able to accept me? Can she think like Karin and want to come back with me?”

Unknowingly, Faiq began to compare the woman he loved all those years, with the woman he had only known a while ago.

“Why do I think of stupid things like this? Why do I think if Sasa still wants to come back the same I'm not knowing, if his memory is still there me or not. Or does he still remember that I was in his life”

The thought that made his tears begin to gather in his eyelids, ready to spill to make up for the poignancy that was approaching the recesses of his heart at this time.

“Daddy is right, Sasa can no longer want to be with me. I left without saying goodbye, without any news and just disappeared. Maybe he hates me or holds a grudge. Yes, I'm a bad man”

Gently, the tears that had been perched on her eyelids began to spill and flow gently through the smooth skin of her face.

“Sa, I miss you..”.

Silent night as if embracing the man who is in the midst of the ravages due to his raging mind as well as his unredeemable longing. The clock on the wall became a song that played in his ears, slightly breaking the silence of the night that was getting late.