Dear, Soul!!

Excuse me...

Farhan was carried away by his emotions, his eyes started to glaze over and turn red.

"I don't want to end this.." Said.

"But brother, our relationship is wrong.."

"What's wrong Salwa? just because you don't love me then that means this relationship is wrong?"

"Sister, I already have a boyfriend.."

"And I'm your boyfriend too.."

"Sister, Fauzi will get hurt if he finds out.."

"Just Fauzi? Is it just Fauzi's feelings you think? How do I feel Salwa? Do you think I'm okay? Does that not matter to you how I feel?" His tears slowly dripped, he turned his gaze away from me and wiped his tears away. "I love you so much, Salwa.." He said he lowered his head and continued to wipe away the tears that had returned.

"I'm sorry, brother..."

Farhan took my hand.

"Salwa, can't you consider my feelings? Please don't take back the opportunity that you've passed on to me.. Please don't be this cruel to me Salwa..." He said he kept holding my hand tightly.

"But brother, if Fauzi finds out..."

"No, I'll make sure Fauzi doesn't know, I'll keep my distance from you when there's a Fauzi. I can't take you off Salwa..."

"What if.."

"I told you, I'm going to keep Fauzi from knowing this, until we grow up, until the moment you can make your heart's choice clear"

I just fell silent. I don't know what else to say, I kind of ran out of ways to end this relationship. The more I refused, the more I hurt Farhan's feelings.

Farhan grabbed me and hugged me.

"Don't talk about this again Salwa, don't say hurtful things like this again..."

I didn't know what to say, I let Farhan calm his feelings.

Farhan's feelings began to calm down, his reddened eyes began to improve, his expression that had been filled with emotion also began to disappear.

"I'm sorry Salwa.." Said lowered. "I know, I gave you a hard time"

I just fell silent.

"I really don't want to lose you, I couldn't talk to Fauzi about seeing you sick from Fauzi yesterday. I'm totally insane.. I know very well I was wrong to ask you to stay with me when I knew who you were. But I don't feel completely guilty either.."

"Why?" My toot.

"Fauzi is wasting your feelings, and I can't stand to see it. I can't see a woman I like having to cry like that.."

I was silent for a moment.

"But brother, I won't be able to treat brother like I treat Fauzi.."

"Am I asking? I don't care how you treat Fauzi, I will still love you and won't let you go.."

"If I end up staying with Fauzi"

"No problem, I just want to prove to you how big I feel, if in the end my feelings don't reach your heart it doesn't matter, at least you give me a chance to prove my feelings..."

"But I'm.."

"It is Salwa, I don't want to talk about it anymore. Whatever you want to do, just do it as long as we stay with me no matter what you do. If in the end there will be a time when I get hurt seeing you as Fauzi it is my responsibility to my feelings, do not mind me still as usual you are the same Fauzi"

I just kept quiet, I didn't know what to say either.

Farhan let out a long breath. After we both stayed for a while

"Thank you Salwa, at least my feelings that got worse today improved a little.." He said smile at me.

"Bright?" I'm confused

"Actually when you called my parents about something important that I don't like.."

"What?"

Farhan was silent for a moment looking at me and smiling

"It's not something you can tell me.."

Farhan turned his eyes away from me and nodded.

"Sorry.." Said.

"Sorry for what? If that's true, brother's privacy shouldn't have told me.."

"Aren't you upset?"

"I'm sorry why?"

"Because I'm hiding something from you, I'm not open to you.."

"Not that big brother hid anything to me, but that's because it's related to brother's privacy, Fauzi told me that if not all the things about me I should tell him because I have my own privacy. Fauzi always says..." I stopped "Ah, sorry brother.." I said I realized I was talking about Fauzi.

"Why?" Ask

"I'm.."

"It's okay, Salwa, I told you I wouldn't mind anything about you including you who used to talk Fauzi to me.."

"Ah yes.I'm used to brother.."

"It's okay" she replied smiling.

.

.

.

Yesterday or today is the same, my status with Farhan instead of changing even seems to increasingly agree with Farhan's request only.

"Ah whatever.. Yeah, well, if Fauzi doesn't know, everything's gonna be okay..." I said trying to justify what's happening right now.

I always try to make my mind that this is okay, but still I keep getting nervous.

Phone's ringing.

"Hello.."

"Well?"

"Well, shouldn't this afternoon have been nyampe?"

"Yes, that should be the case but Dad said he went home after the Maghrib, because if the afternoon came home with the same people coming home from the office the road was jammed."

"Oh yes, too.."

"You?"

"I? Why?"

"Now what?"

"Bulumata you've fallen, haven't you?"

"Open is not connected.. Asked instead of being answered instead of turning back.."

"Reply answer me, your bulumata has fallen.."

"Nothing, why?"

"Wah means your bulumata is strong, but I miss it half alive.."

"Yes what does Jamaluddin have to do??? God is not so clear as to be a person.."

"You've never heard that the bulumata fell for longing.."

"Do you believe that?"

"Yes instead of believing, his intention is to fight you but his you are not even ngeh.."

"Yes, you're not clear, how do I want to try.."

"But seriously I miss you..."

"Hem.."

"The one who squirms you.."

"Jaudah here.."

"Okay Otewee..."

"Eh, uh, it's night time.."

"Yes, why? Only 8 o'clock, I usually play at your house at this hour, how can't I?"

"My father will be new nyampe, instead of rest even ngeladeni you again.."

"Yeah.kasian Papa in-law.. Yaudah tomorrow I'll pick you up, we'll go to school together..."

"When you go to school, you can.."

"You know, the longer it misses waiting, the more he tortures the owner. I know the sooner I meet you, can't bear to squirm you.."

"You why? Tumben really like gini.."

"Do not know, anyway I miss you, want to immediately squirm you. Anyway, I'll pick you up tomorrow.."

"If I don't want to?"

"Well, I'll wait for you at school if so.."

"Is that all?"

"What?"

"Son't.." Answer's short.

"Well what? How did you get angry?"

"Yes, you're done.."

"What's? I why?"

"Son't.." Answer cuek.

"Ohaha, I understand now.so ask to be picked up the story?"

"Ish. who wants to be forced anyway.."

"Haha, not yet?"

"So you don't want to make me?"

"Haha.. Well, whose girlfriend is this? It's funny, it's adorable.. Yaudah I'll pick you up tomorrow.."

"Don't.."

"Son, I mean, tomorrow I'll pick you up.. okay??"

"Son't.."

"Well, I'll pick it up.. I mean... yeah? yeah?? Okay?"

"Hem. jaudah.."

"Wait for me tomorrow.."

"Yes yes, jaudah first, I think Dad has arrived.."

"Hem.. Don't go to sleep later, send greetings to Dad.."

"okay.. I'm matiin.."

"Eh wait..."

"Otherwise??"

"I love you Salwa, what a pity.."

"Hem.. Yes, yes, yes, yes.."

"okay.. Bye Darling.."

"Hem.."

Phone's disconnected.