Dear, Soul!!

Attentions..

I managed to get Fauzi's address there and immediately followed him after getting permission from Mom. Mom gave me full support to apologize to Fauzi.

This time I was reckless, I set out on my own to the opposite province without knowing anything, the journey from where I lived and where Fauzi was in college took thirty minutes to reach by air.

I arrived without someone to pick me up at the airport, I got out of the airport looking for a taxi and immediately headed to Fauzi's address.

I arrived at the address given by Ms. Fauzi, her house looks deserted. I knocked on the door but there was no answer from the inside probably because Fauzi was still on the campus at the moment. I tried calling Fauzi hoping my phone would connect but it looks like my phone number is still on the block list of incoming calls on Fauzi's phone.

It had been about three hours I waited but there was still no sign of Fauzi coming back, the afternoon sky was dark because some parts seemed to be clouds that were holding rainwater, he said, the sky is overcast indicating that it is going to rain, I just hope that the dark clouds will pass soon so that it will not rain today. I don't know what my fate would be if it rained, where I would take shelter if Fauzi hadn't returned.

I'm still waiting, occasionally walking down the street hoping that Fauzi will be seen soon.

Tick tick..

"Kc.. The weather is really not friendly with me" I muttered.

Rainwater began to fall spatter, seeing from the dark clouds above it seems like these spots are only temporary and will turn into heavy rain later.

The rain always came at the wrong time, not just today but the day I felt the pain of seeing Fauzi with another woman, it was raining. The rain was like being sad with me.

I was getting soaked, it was getting darker, but Fauzi didn't come home. I don't know what I should do. I can't get out of here because my clothes are soaked and I don't know when I'm here in the rain waiting for Fauzi to come back. People who live around the Fauzi residence also seem to be workers or maybe fellow college children who will go home when the night is late or maybe not home because of heavy rain.

I started to get cold, I continued to rub my palms together hoping to feel a little warm but the results were nil. In my situation like this I was completely aware of my mistake all along. If I could have been assertive long ago, if I could have better understood my feelings for Farhan, if my selfishness could have been more I could have pressed and had it not all happened between me and Farhan, he said, I won't be here holding back the cold like a fool.

The spotlight on the lamp shone on me making my vision slightly obstructed by the glare. Has Fauzi gone home? The floodlight that seemed to be coming from the motor was getting closer to me.

"Sorry, what are you doing here?" Ask a biker who came to me.

"A'm.. I'm waiting for the owner of the house.." I replied with a stammer because of the cold.

"Fauzi?" He asked in a rather high voice because the sound of heavy rain was quite noisy.

I'm nodding.

"Oh, please come in first, I'm a friend of Fauzi's and for a while I'm staying with Fauzi here"

I shook my head "I'll wait for Fauzi here.."

"But this is again heavy rain mbak, it seems not going to subside this close, let's take shelter first inside" Invite him.

I shook my head again. I don't care about this rain, all I want now is to meet Fauzi.

"Yes, at least the shelter is in the sand.." Bargainly.

I nodded then stepped out of the way, but the same thing was because the occasional rain accompanied by the wind made the rain occasionally hit me.

"It's mbak.." The man said as he gave me a towel "I'll call Fauzi first.."

"Te thanks.." I said stammering as it started to shiver.

I waited for quite a while longer, it seems like his friend also had a little trouble contacting Fauzi as he was seen making repeated calls. But even though Fauzi remains difficult to contact at least I feel calmer now that there are Fauzi's friends here who can tell Fauzi that I'm here.

"Are you sure you don't want to go in first?" Ask again, and my answer is still the same.

"I'm just here.." My answer. I also feel bad to go inside considering Fauzi's friend is only alone at home and it's night, also because I'm already wet which can make the house dirty.

"Ma just come in, it'll be raining here.."

"It's okay, it's wet too." he said smiling.

Yes, he came home on a motorcycle without a raincoat so he was also drenched.

Not long Fauzipun arrived. Fauzi got out of the car while running small towards the terrace so as not to get too wet.

"What are you doing here?" Ask Fauzi when he gets there.

"A'm..."

Fauzi walked in, before I even finished my words.

Is Fauzi this hateful to me right now? Even in times of my condition like this Fauzi ignored me, my heart ached once but suddenly.

Pluck... Fauzi covered my head with a blanket, then wrapped the blanket all over my body to the tip of my foot.

"Let's go in.." He said to lead me slowly.

Fauzi led me slowly to the sofa, the rain that had soaked my clothes all seeped into the blanket Fauzi used to wrap me in.

" So Sofanya will get wet.."

"Why think of that.." Fauzi said he helped me sit with a blanket that made it difficult for me to move.

Fauzi wrapped my hands in eucalyptus oil to make me feel a little warm, also wrapped my feet that began to wrinkle due to being exposed to rain for too long, then pairing socks. Fauzi did everything without a word coming out of his mouth, he never looked at me at all.

"O ozi's.. I'm.."

Again Fauzi passed by without letting me finish my words.

Soon Fauzi returned with a glass of warm green tea in his hand. He helped me drink that warm tea because my hand was wrapped in a blanket.

"Eat already?" He asked with his tone still cold.

I'm shaking.

Fauzi went back by regardless of me.

I sat alone on the sofa, Fauzi's friend who was with me somewhere? Maybe go inside or I don't know where I see him anymore.

I just kept quiet, I heard Fauzi was doing something inside, like he was cooking in the kitchen.

"Feed first.." Said Fauzi who returned from the inside after a while while carrying a tray containing a bowl of soup and rice that was still warm.

Fauzi fed me softly, he fed me without looking at me and without a word he said. He treated me well with his cold demeanor.

"Uhhuukk..." It seems because too long flushed by rain water I reached Influenza and coughed.

"Slow down" he said, helping me drink warm water.

I'm glad Fauzi is still like this to me even though he has decided to end his relationship with me. I knew that his disappointment in me would not easily disappear given that what I did was too much, but even so he was still like the familiar Fauzi who was full of attention despite his cold demeanor.