Dear, Soul!!

I always love U

Time indicates 01:49, which indicates the night is getting late.

Fauzi fell asleep, tired from working all day to take care of the house and his wife, making his body tired so that when his body was given a break, he really fell asleep.

Cold air seeps into the surface of the earth, although in the daytime the sun reigns with all its heat, but when night comes, the heat disappears by changing the cold.

Late nights create silence, only the sound of the ticking of a clock perched on the wall, and the occasional sound of vehicles that somehow their owners still operate their vehicles at night this late.

Fauzi who had previously slept so comfortably, slowly woke up when his ears found a sobbing sound. Although clearly the cry was held as much as possible, but still it could be touched by Fauzi's sense of hearing.

Fauzi slowly opened his eyes, and found his wife sitting with her knees hugging and her head resting on her knees.

With a little difficulty, Fauzi gathered all of his consciousness, he moved from his fall and improved his sitting position and tried to calm his wife. Yes, once in a while Salwa's emotions can not be controlled, until he cried for no reason and it does not take long Salwa will return to normal and forget that he just cried.

Fauzi hugged Salwa from behind, cheating on his wife's body which looked like a cocoon with her down position, leaning her head on her knees.

“Why you baby?” Whisper Fauzi gently.

There was no answer from Salwa, her crying continued and she did not change her poisis so that Fauzi could not see his wife's face.

“Darling, why are you crying? Is anyone sick??” Ask Fauzi again.

Still the same, there was no answer from Salwa. Only the sound of her sobbing became increasingly clear.

Fauzi shifted slightly and twisted his wife's body, trying to lift the face that had been buried.

Fauzi saw clearly how his wife's veiled face with her tears still flowing.

“Why you, baby? Tell me the same?” Fauzi asked as he wiped the tears of his wife who had no idea what the mother felt from her son, so that his tears just flowed more and more as he asked what caused him to cry sobbing in the late night.

“A-me.. I'm sick, right?” Salwa asked sniggered.

Fauzi was silent for a moment. The last time his wife was aware of his condition, it was when he found the medicine that was given to her and it had already passed long enough. Tonight, it was the first time that his wife became aware of his health.

“Who said you were sick, baby? You're doing fine. Are you feeling sick now? Which part is sick?”

“No need to lie to me Fauzi, I know that I'm sick. There is an eraser in my head, I am not normal anymore”

His tears were flowing more and more, as he said his condition which he was aware of at the moment.

“How long have I been sick? I don't know”

Salwa again leaned her head on her knees with her tears growing more and more.

“I haven't been aware for a long time, have I? I've been like this” for a long time

Fauzi raised his wife's face again, and pulled her in his arms.

Fauzi knew there was a time when his wife's consciousness could surface. Every now and then, he is conscious like a normal person and thinks like always.

“I'm not normal Fauzi, I'm like a crazy person who's unconscious and doesn't understand myself”

“Do not talk like that dear, you are fine, everything is fine”

Tears began to pool in Fauzi's eye patch. He held back desperately so that his tears would not spill, he had to be strong in order to strengthen his wife.

Fauzi took off his embrace, and went back to wiping the tears of the woman he loved so much.

“I realize now, I know my condition. Although I don't know when my consciousness was lost and turned back into someone else”

“Thank God that your consciousness is back, baby, I'm glad to be able to talk like this to you”

“But soon this awareness will be gone. All about you in my head will be gone, I will return to being a madman who does not know my husband”

“Don't always call you yourself that.you're not so dear, even when your consciousness passes, you still remember me, you still often say love is the same I”

“Tap.”

“Sayang.. It may not, if your consciousness is back to what it is now, you do not think about things like your condition or your health. How can you, when you come to this realization, think only of me, feel your love for you, acknowledge me as your husband, and only remember our good times. Throw away all thoughts of your circumstances that could forget you, all you have to realize is that you are still with me and your love is still for me. Just tell me you love me, love me. I miss ngedenger you said love is the same as me with the gaze of my wife like this”

Fauzi desperately held back so that his tears would not spill. She did not want to show her fragility, so that her wife could believe that her current husband remained strong under any circumstances.

Salwa hugged Fauzi, what her husband had just said, giving her a slight sense of comfort despite the pain still roaring in her heart when she realized her current condition.

“I love you Fauzi, I love my husband. When my consciousness disappears and I return like everyone else, I will still love you. Whatever I say later, you must still believe that I love you”

“Yes dear, I know that.your feelings have become things that will strengthen me, give me everything from what I need”

Salwa took off her embrace, looking fixedly at Fauzi's face even though her eyes were still flooded by tears. Slowly, she raised her hand, felt every corner of her husband's face and felt an indentation in that face. The nose is sharp, the eyes are not too wide, until the lips belong to her husband, can not be separated from her senses.

“I will remember this face, I definitely remember the same face this” said Salwa, staring fixedly at the black eyeball belonging to her husband.

His crying continued, when he realized that in just a few seconds his memory could be lost again. Then how can she say that she will remember the face of her husband, while she herself will not be able to remember when something in her brain again took all her memories.

“I can only say this because I'm aware now. Later if my consciousness is lost, I. I must forget everything again, the same face, the same status you even I will forget the same feeling I love you like this. Hu hu hu what am I?? I don't even know what I am?” Salwa again cried roaring to realize herself.

“Hey darling.. I told you not to think about anything else. When your memory returns to what it is now, all you have to remember is our good memories, only our happiness, not everything else”

Fauzi tried to calm his wife who came back crying.

“Ozi.”

“Iya darling.”

“Why is it still here?? Why are you still here?”

“'Why here'?? Yes because here our home dear.”

“You must know that I can't heal, so I won't be able to go back to what I used to be, and my condition will get worse. So why are you still here with me?? Go awayl.. Go find the others, go find normal healthy women to accompany your days”

“Sayang.. What the hell are you talking about?? Why talk like that.”

“I am sick Fauzi, and will not heal. There is no point in you surviving with me, sooner or later I will die and until I die later, I will not be able to remember you.

With a single pull, Fauzi took Salwa into his arms. He who had tried his best not to shed his tears, finally spilled also after hearing what Salwa said.

“Don't talk shit like that, don't talk bad stuff like that. I don't like to hear you talk like that, so don't talk like that anymore” said Fauzi whose tears also broke while hugging his wife tightly.

“But what I said is true, I will not be healed and will not be able to return to how I was. I'll just trouble you”

“Who says you trouble me, everything's fine. I'm happy to be with you”

“Stop talking.. I don't want to hear anything from you. Don't talk anymore.”

“Hu hu.. But I'm really sick Fauzi, I-I'm not gonna get well.”

Fauzi took off his embrace, grasping slightly tightly onto Salwa's shoulder.

“What if you are sick? What if you can't heal?? Why???. I don't care that, I'll stay here for you, and keep you like this. I am your husband Salwa, how can you ask your husband to find another woman?? Do you not love me anymore??”

“I love you Ozi, but I'm sick.. I can't be happy with you, I can't be like other people you can count on. I'm sakiitt..”.

Fauzi held the tiny face of his tear-filled wife. He slowly kissed his wife's eyes, then his nose and softly kissed Salwa's little lips. Fauzi looked at Salwa's face for a moment, then again gave a kiss on the right cheek that continued on Salwa's left cheek, and lastly on his wife's forehead. The kiss she gave with sincerity to a woman who had lost her confidence as a wife.

“No matter how you are, I will stay with you. I don't care about your condition, enough that you love me is more than enough. You won't leave me, because I am your home, your place back”

Fauzi tried to smile, trying to strengthen himself before strengthening his wife who is now very fragile.

“Listen to me, if my heart were your life, then I would force this heart to keep beating to keep you alive. Suppose my eyes are your world, I will force them to keep seeing to keep you there, and since I am your love, I will be there for you as long as you are in this world. There will be no leaving between us, I am you, and you are me”

Salwa's tears were back in freefall even though she no longer cried roaring.

Fauzi again kissed his wife's eyes.

“This eye, I will always make her see the beautiful things that exist in this world”

Then Fauzi kissed his wife's nose.

“Hidung, I will always make a breath of fresh air and delicious aroma of good cuisine that I will make every day”

Fauzi continued to slowly kiss his wife's lips.

“This lips, I will lead to continue to say love for me, and enjoy all the dishes I have prepared for you”

Fauzi went to his wife's ear, and kissed her alternately.

“This ear, every day will get consumption of sweet words and expressions of love from me”

Fauzi moved out of his ears and kissed his wife on both cheeks.

“This cheek, I will make always blush shows how happy you are and fall into my love”

Until the last, Fauzi kissed his wife's forehead.

“And this forehead, is a container for my lips in order to always give a sincere and beautiful kiss to my wife”

Fauzi looked back at his wife's face.

“Sayang.. Today, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow until an unspecified time, I will always be with you, no matter what. My love doesn't allow me to get away from you”

Salwa smiled even though her tears still could not be stopped. Until she got up and hugged her husband.

“Thank you for being a great husband to me”

Fauzi hugged his wife back, with an increasingly tight hug.

“Thank you too, for constantly loving me no matter what your condition is.”

A hug they both don't want to let go of. Although tears accompanied, but there was still a feeling of happiness that enveloped the two.

Fauzi was so comfortable hugging his wife, also very comfortable in his wife's arms. He no longer realized that the night was getting late, and time was passing and only a few hours left, the sun would greet the inhabitants of the earth.

“Sayang.”

“Hem.”

“Why??”

“What's dear??”

Fauzi took off his embrace, confused by Salwa's sudden question.

“You're really curling me tight, what's up?” Salwa asked with her gaze that revealed confusion. The expression he had before had now turned into a flat expression with a puzzled look.

Seeing Salwa like that, Fauzi realized that the memory of his wife's consciousness was now gone. Salwa in front of him right now, is his wife with an irregular memory.

The eraser is coming again.

“Nothing dear, earlier I had a nightmare and a fear, so I woke up and curled you”

“Do not be afraid, there will be me.” Salwa said smiling although the rest of her tears were still clearly visible on her face.

Fauzi smiled at his wife, then confirmed what Salwa had said.

“Yaudah, let's sleep again” Invite Salwa.

Fauzi fixed his position and returned to lying down, his eyes still reddened the rest of his tears that had broken earlier.

“You want me to hug?” Tanya Salwa.

Once again Fauzi nodded, making Salwa approach and give her husband a hug.

“Now there's me who's cursing at you, so that nightmare is definitely not coming back”

Fauzi tried to close his eyes, though his mind was still playing around what his wife had said.

Salwa fell asleep before Fauzi. Fauzi improved his wife's sleeping position, Salwa could be cramped if sleeping in a high pillow position because he intended to hug Fauzi until sleep earlier.

Fauzi stared fixedly at the face of his wife who was now sound asleep, maybe the dream has approached him now.

“What dreams do you love, until your sleep is so calm”

Fauzi's tears came back, it was painful every time he realized that the peaceful sleeping woman in front of him was harboring a mystery in his brain.

I was happy when your consciousness returned, because it allowed me to see my old Salwa, making me feel your sincere love, not what I was directing.

But, if your regained consciousness brings bad thoughts in your head, then it should not be returned.

I'm glad to be able to look into your eyes that radiate sincere love for me when you realize you're coming home, but I don't like it if his arrival makes you feel unworthy and inferior, then just let your consciousness continue to sink.

I love my Salwa, under any circumstances. Even though you can't remember me, and just say love because I taught you that, I still like it. I love you, after all.