Dear, Soul!!

Reproof Mother..

"What Mom?" My toot.

It's not usually like this, it seems like I'm going to discuss something serious.

Mom gave me my phone, it's been about a week I haven't held it.

"Oh my phone, it's been a long time.." I said while opening it.

"I'm sorry, Mother.."

"I'm sorry? Why are you apologizing?" I'm confused.

"Mom shouldn't open your phone, yes even if you're Mom's son but I know that you have your own privacy.."

"What's wrong Mom, the time is just because Mom's sorry" I said smiling "There's nothing in the pound.." My words stopped after realizing something.

I looked at Mom and Mom looking at me seriously.

"How long has it been?"

"A what?" I stammered a little.

"You with Farhan?"

As I realized, Mom had opened my phone obviously I already knew about my relationship with Farhan.

"i's.. Madam.."

"How long has it been?" Mom repeated the question.

"Before Fauzi graduates" I replied in a low tone, looking down, I couldn't look at Mom.

"Since then? It's been a long time Salwa, all that time you lied to Mom, Fauzi and his family?"

I kept quiet, I did not dare to respond to Mother's words

"Until now Fauzi doesn't know?"

I'm shaking.

"Only you two know?"

I'm nodding.

"When do you want to hide this Salwa?"

"b mom.. I'm gonna settle everything with Farhan.."

"When?"

"So soon, Mom.."

"Huff.t...." She took a deep breath and sat down next to me. Mom took my hand.

"Why are you like this, son? What's less than Fauzi until you do this? You know what the risk is if Fauzi finds out?"

I just shut up.

"Darling I won't make you choose Fauzi, if your feelings for Fauzi have changed and now you love Farhan, it's up to you. Just don't be like this baby, you can't be selfish to have both. Clear your relationship with Farhan and leave Fauzi. Fauzi would be very sick if one day he found out from someone else.."

"Sir Ma'am, I won't take Fauzi off.."

"How do you want to go, son? You can't stay in a relationship like this"

"I'll talk to Farhan"

"Wait, what does it mean to talk to Farhan? You want to end with Farhan?"

I nodded

"Why?"

"Because I want to be with Fauzi Ma'am"

"If you still love Fauzi, then why is Farhan Nak the same?"

I shook my head, I didn't know what to answer Mom's question, I couldn't possibly tell Mom why I was with Farhan because I didn't want to feel lonely, I could get angry.

"Already, if you really still love Fauzi, end with Farhan quickly. You'll have trouble on your own if Fauzi finds out the truth"

I just nod.

"You've grown up, baby, you should already know what's wrong and what's right"

"Yes Mom.." I answered with a constant bowing unable to look at Mom.

"It's also Mom's fault.."

Suddenly I raised my head to look at Mother, showing my expression confused by Mother's words

"It's Mom's fault" said the mother who understood with my gaze "Because I pay less attention to you until you don't know what to do right"

"Sir Ma'am, Salwa is big enough to know that this is wrong"

"Yes fix your relationship as soon as possible, do not let you regret later"

"Yes Mom.."

"Why do you want to tell me about Fauzi?" Ask surprised.

Mom shakes. "So, but I wouldn't cover up the truth if Fauzi started to get suspicious and wonder"

I just shut up. Right, there's no way I can help me hide my lies like this.

"Yes you have rest first, tomorrow you have entered school, later I help prepare your school supplies.."

"Thank you Ma'am.."

"Yes dear.." Mother said, peeping my forehead and leaving my room.

My determination to end my relationship with Farhan has become more and more unanimous. There's no more reason for me to stick with Farhan.

I opened my phone, I found some messages from Farhan that Mom seemed to have read.

"I'm sorry I didn't call my sister last week nor did I get to see her.." The short message I sent Farhan

My phone immediately rang, a call came in from Farhan and I immediately rejected it. I don't want to talk to Farhan, it could change my intention to end my relationship with Farhan.

"Why on reeject?" Reply message from Farhan.

"Sir, I'm sorry, but it looks like we can't continue our relationship.." I sent Farhan the short message back.

My phone rang again, a call came in from Farhan and again I refused it. Farhan kept calling and I kept refusing.

"I don't want to.. Pick up my phone.."

"Sorry.."

"I don't need your apologies Salwa, all I need is for you to stay by my side.."

"Can't I, brother?"

"Why? Is it because you've come back comfortable the last week with Fauzi, have you forgotten what made us like this? It was all because of Fauzi who hurt you that night.."

Farhan reminded me of that.

"Sister, from the beginning our relationship was wrong.."

My phone rang again the incoming call from Farhan, but I kept rejecting it.

"Why are you talking about our relationship again? If you realize this is wrong then why did you say yesterday that you love me Salwa?"

"I'm sorry, brother.."

"I don't want to, anyway I don't want to separate from you Salwa. I love you, too.."

"Sorry brother, and please don't bother me just yet because I have to focus on the National Examination which is just around the corner.."

"You can't believe Salwa.."

My phone kept ringing inbound calls from Farhan.

"With my phone, we need to talk.."

"I can't.."

"Why? Why is it like this again Salwa, why are you like this the same me? I'm also the one who cares about you so much but why do this to me.."

I didn't write a message from Farhan, the more I served him the stronger Farhan sent me a message.

"You're home from the hospital, right? It means you are home now. Wait for me, I'll be there"

Like the usual Farhan, he was always reckless.

"Ngapain my brother's home? At home again there's my Dad and my mom.."

"Then why?"

"What would you say if you met my mom and dad later.."

"I'll tell you everything, and ask for your Father and Mother's blessing.."

"Think about it if you want to do that, Dad and my mom know very well about my relationship with Fauzi. I thought to myself what Dad and my mom would say if you were being frank about us.."

"Then I have to how Salwa? I can't lose you.."

"Sorry brother, but our relationship is quite up here.."

"You evil Salwa, why is this the same as me.."

"Then hate me brother, hate me for doing this evil thing with sister.."

Farhan called back. I realized Farhan would always call me so I put Farhan's phone number in my phone's blacklist. Farhan won't be able to reach me because his number is already on my call block list.

"Do you have to block my number?"

"Sorry brother, this is the only way I can do that brother doesn't always call me"

"Salwa, we can still talk about this all right.."

"Sorry brother, it looks like I should also block brother's message.. I'm so sorry for doing this with my sister and I'm so grateful that you've been looking after me and been so kind to me all this time. I wish you the best for you too.." The last short message I sent to Farhan and after that I blocked Farhan's message.

My tears trickled, I was well aware of how cruel what I was doing to Farhan now.