Dear, Soul!!
Not (d) anymore
It is no longer the same as before. Fauzi, who would have been lazing around on holidays, now wakes up early to replace a job his wife can't do anymore.
No more spoiled sessions that Fauzi used to serve his wife in the morning, no more moments he found his wife cooking and hugging him from behind every day, moments that became his favorite. Everything changed, and there was nothing Fauzi could do but according to the circumstances that forced him to follow these changes.
There was a noise from the kitchen, I don't know what else made his wife nag there. In addition to changes in thinking and behavior, changes in Salwa emotions are also clearly felt. Sometimes Salwa is suddenly angry for no reason, and in an instant will be good as if nothing happened. Fauzi could only understand, understand his wife's unstable emotions, because there was nothing else he could do but understand the condition of the woman he loved so much at this time.
Fauzi, who was busy cleaning, turned to the kitchen when his hearing caught the noise of his wife nagging.
“Why baby??”
Salwa did not reply, she just lifted the TV remote. Fauzi's forehead was wrinkled, confused and did not understand what Salwa meant.
“That's why?”
“I found this in the kitchen. You can't keep those things in their place.”
Fauzi felt he never brought a remote into the kitchen. And again, it had been two days that he did not have time to even just watch TV. Because in addition to office work, Fauzi also crawled doing some homework.
“It wasn't me who brought it there baby.”
Fauzi didn't want to say anything his wife said. Not because he did not want to understand, he just wanted his wife not to continue to justify what was in his mind if it was something wrong.
“Terus who brought it here? Me? Mikayla?”
“I don't know baby. Already, do not be angry again yes, here remotnya let me save”
“Gak.”
Fauzi just looked at Salwa who looked so upset while still holding the remote in her hand.
“I don't like you like this. Keep something not in place, this is a danger if the remote is here”
“Not me dear.”
“To whom? If you say you're not, then you accuse me??”
“I'm not accusing you.”
“Ya means you are.”
Salwa's tone was getting higher. Fauzi who initially did not want to justify what was wrong in his wife's mind, finally he just justified it. He knew, there would be no end to that debate if he did not budge. And again, while Mikayla was still sleeping, it could have been that Mikayla woke up to hear an angry salwa with her voice rising. Mikayla could be even more scared if she saw this later.
“Iya. Yaudah, here's the remote I save.”
“Tuh right.”
“Iya dear, here remote let me save..”
Fauzi continued to persuade the salwa to give him the remot he was holding, and put an end to a debate that should not have happened this morning.
“You have changed now. You don't want to admit your mistakes. What is the difficulty anyway ngaku from the beginning if this remote you bring.”
“I forgot my dear.”
“Initially forget, later habit. Last night I was tired of looking for the remote until I couldn't watch Tv”
His wife started deluding again, obviously last night Salwa wasn't watching TV.
Fauzi breathed a long breath. His job outside has not been completed, and now he has to serve his wife who debates him just because of a remote problem.
“I don't want to know if until something like this happens again. You can long be a habit if this is”
“Iya darling, I don't like that anymore”
“You don't talk about it that you don't. Yesterday I also found a broom in the bathroom”
What else did his wife say? Why does Salwa constantly discuss and drop all the mistakes of what did not happen, to Fauzi.
Tired of the cladding is becoming - so it feels. Fauzi who usually always patiently direct his wife if thinking something wrong, now just agree. Either because of the burden of work in the office and at home that squeezes him, or because he is starting to have difficulty directing his wife at this time.
But the difficult thing that Fauzi felt was, the anger of his wife who had exploded, considering that before Salwa was not a person who would raise his voice when angry. Besides him, what makes Fauzi afraid the most is, when the psychic Mikayla becomes disturbed due to the anger of her mother. He did not want to, Mikayla gave a bad value to his mother who would end up being scared like the one that happened the other day.
Salwa throws the remote plan in her hand.
“Tuh.. Save where!!”
“Honey, why use the event in throw anyway?” Fauzi asked as he grabbed the remote lying on the floor.
Salwa just looked at him still showing an annoyed face.
“You can't throw stuff like this Darling.”
“Let's not save any more.”
Fauzi sighed. He had already restrained himself, but somehow slowly an annoyance slowly appeared, which might be caused by his fatigue.
“And I'm sorry. I told you I wouldn't do that again”
“Why are you angry anyway?”
“You are angry from earlier. Though this is just a trivial problem”
Fauzi got out of control and turned furious. His tone rose without him noticing.
“You can still horrify, can still understand the same what I said. But why is it still so complicated as this problem. I'm tired.”
Salwa was surprised to see Fauzi who was getting angry.
“Many things I have to do Salwa, I have a lot to do. I don't have time to wait for you to argue with you on a little issue like this. Nothing happens either. ah already..”.
Fauzi stepped out of Salwa with a sense of regret. While Salwa, who was very surprised to hear Fauzi angry with his high tone just fell silent, with her tears slowly dripping.
.
.
.
Fauzi realized, he shouldn't be upset. However, Fauzi is also just an ordinary human being, who has a limit to restrain all his feelings and has to vent what is already overflowing in his heart.
Fauzi did not continue the pending work earlier, he stepped swiftly inside his room, threw his body on the mattress, closed his eyes with both palms.
“Argghhhhhh...” furious Fauzi annoyed. He was annoyed at himself who could not contain his anger.
Slowly Fauzi lowered his hand. Staring at the ceiling of his room with his mind raging. What happened this morning really made it difficult.
Fauzi got up, sat down on the edge of the bed, let out a long sigh trying to clear his mind and calm his feelings.
Just now he tried to calm his feelings, but immediately became upset again. It was not an irritated feeling like before, but an indescribable feeling of pain when he found a knife in his room.
Fauzi realized that his wife's current condition was getting worse. From what he saw, it seemed no longer just a decrease in verbal ability and impaired memory, other things like difficulty putting things in place also started to attack his current wife.
Remot who was in the kitchen this morning, it could have been him who brought it unwittingly. Same goes with the knife he found in his room right now.
Slowly guilt began to seep into Fauzi's feelings.he just snapped and was angry at his wife, while he knew what his wife was doing at this time, not what he was doing with his consciousness.
Fauzi was sobbing. His feelings are mixed up. The sadness of seeing his wife who is getting worse, also the feeling of guilt due to him who can not hold back his emotions and bad feelings for not being able to increase his patience and understanding of his wife.
“I'm sorry Salwa, I'm sorry.. I'm a lousy husband, a bad husband. I'm sorry I can't understand your condition. Why am I like this, why did I become a cruel man who scolded my wife.”.
Fauzi walked up, ran over to his wife who had previously been left in the kitchen
