Dear, Soul!!

Broken heart's

Faiq constantly looked at the circular watch on his wrist, he was so impatiently waiting for Sasa's arrival. A sense of longing that is embedded in the last few weeks, is now increasingly excited to ask immediately redeemed.

Faiq started to fidget, it felt like he had been waiting for so long yet he had not seen Sasa's whereabouts. Until the anxious expression he had earlier appeared, it changed immediately when his gaze found the figure of the woman he had been waiting for.

“Sorry, I'm late”

“Nothing, your delay is meaningless with you here now”

Sasa just smiled. It was clearly seen in his eyes, how Faiq looked so enthusiastic.

“What do you want to eat?”

“Ah no, i.”.

“Yaudah, if so what would you like to drink??”

“Anu..”.

“I want a Cappucino? Ye? Ah usually Greentea. You want greentea?”

Sasa only nodded, he whose initial intention was to meet only briefly with Faiq, seemed to be about to change to see such an enthusiastic Faiq.

The eyes twinkled and the gaze was so warm that Faiq directed at Sasa, making Sasa bow his head for a moment. It was hard to accept such a clear view with that love. For a moment Sasa thought, about what he would say to Faiq today.

“Anu.. About me I met today.”

“What should it be discussed now?” Tanya Faiq cut off Sasa's speech. “We haven't seen” in a long time

“Ta-but I.”

“If you discuss what you want to say to me, this meeting will automatically end quickly. Or..”.

Sasa just looked at her with a questionable look. The last word Faiq said, invited a question in his mind.

“What is it??”

“Well, what are you going to say about something that won't keep us apart again?” Faiq asked with his fluffy smile. The hue of his face looked brighter even with just a thought he deduced himself.

“Don't think too far Faiq. Right now I don't have much time, I'm busy and have to finish some affairs”

“What solution? Yourjob? I went back to your nyariin hospital, and they said that you resigned. You got a new job now? Whahuh? Where?”

Sasa shook his head. “I'm not working now”

“Keep, what are you busy with? And want to finish what?”

“I have an appointment with the wedding organizer today, and finish some things before the special day of my life come”

Faiq. For a moment he was petrified with his black eye bead that could not be separated from his gaze on Sasa. “A-what?” Her lips were shaking enough to ask just one word.

“I'm here, and ask to see you. Because I want to give you this”

Sasa held out a pink invitation with his name engraved beautifully there as the bride.

There was a pain that Faiq could not describe. What was presented before his eyes, did not match the expectations that had been playing on his mind. The time he was waiting with great happiness, apparently saving a boomerang for him.

“I'll get married, and.”

“La-then, how am I? I how about you marry me?” A clear crystal thread began to perch on Faiq's eye patch.he raised his face to look at Sasa, followed by his tears dripping without cueing. “I love you so much, Sasa. If you get married, how am I??”

Undeniably, there was a feeling of sadness that Sasa felt seeing the fragile Faiq in front of him at this moment.

“You don't have to apologize Faiq, it's not your fault. What they say is also not wrong, it is a fact like that”

“Ja-so you're not mad right?”

Sasa nodded slowly.

“Keep why me, you stay married? You're not angry, as you say, I'm not wrong. So why did you leave me, Sa?”

Faiq's tears are getting louder. The pain that hit his feelings at this moment, made him no longer able to stem his tears. Faiq no longer cared about the views of the people towards him.

“Can't we fix everything? Can't we start over?? Sa, I can leave everything for you, I can be whatever you want and be what you need”

“Faiq. That kind of thing I don't deserve from a great person like you. I have absolutely no right to make you freefall from your current position just to be able to align yourself with me”

“Why? I give you the right to me. Whatever you want, I can Sa. Just don't stay in me”

“You want to but you can't, Faiq. You realize we're not the same person. You will not be able to adjust if you follow me”

“Why can't you? I've experienced the lowest point of my life Sa, I've been in the abyss. Then why are you..”

“Yes, you can and do get through it. Then I how? I will not be able to be blind and deaf to the judgments of those around you. Even if we go far, it will not change what I have in mind about the judgment of people against me, who have made you leave the throne of your success”

Emotions have begun to touch Sasa's feelings, now his tears also began to fall slowly. Yes, forcing to let go of the person he loved so long, while that person was still being compassionate to be with him, was definitely not an easy thing.

Faiq, who was constantly carried away by emotions and forced Sasa to be with him, spontaneously fell silent and was surprised to see Sasa venting his feelings.

“Faiq, I wouldn't have the heart to drag you down and start all over again just to maintain my ego. We have to realize that we are not people who can be together. We were found, but not to be united”

Faiq's pitch-black eye bead covered in clear water was an outlet of his feelings, not out of his sight for Sasa. The roar of Sasa's tears was now a very painful sight for him at this moment.

“I made him cry. Yeah, I made her cry. How'this? Is my true love only going to make her feel this kind of pain?? Is that the pain you have to receive from loving me?”

“I'm sorry” said Faiq who had turned his eyes away. “It seems right, I only give you difficult times

“Not like that, Faiq. but.”

“But what? In fact, I often squirm you cry instead of smiling if it's the same me. That is proof that I am not capable enough to be the source of your happiness”

Sasa simply fell silent, with emotions slowly subsiding.

“My existence is not enough to be a paradise that makes you comfortable. I am not the ocean that can quench your thirst. I'm sorry Sa, for being selfish”

Slowly Faiq grabbed the pink invitation that Sasa had brought for him.

“Congratulations on your wedding. You need to know, I am not sincere and did not change your position in my heart as a special person. My love is so selfish that it does not allow you to walk away from my feelings. You still reign supreme in my heavenly love”

Faiq moved from his seat, with Sasa's invitation in his grasp.

“I'll come. I'll be a witness on your happy day”

Slowly Faiq stepped away from Sasa who was still sitting without a word until Faiq passed.

******

Faiq entered a bar with an invitation still tightly held in his hand. No one can show that he is okay now. His blank look with puffy eyes, clearly showed how devastated the man who had just received bad news for him was.

Faiq took a sitting position right in front of the bartender who was mixing the colored solution with a strong characteristic smell of alcohol.

“You, why are you here? Isn't it???”