Dear, Soul!!

A transition..

My mind's a little messed up. I never thought Farhan could be so angry and again now I have to face Fauzi's questions about my lies. Yes, even if I become Fauzi I will also ask because it feels awkward my statement was with the facts that exist now.

"That need not be discussed.. Why nelfon?"

"Kok nanyanya that, I can't I call you?"

"Mom.. I don't mean I like that.. I mean, tumben you're the nelfon at home"

"Because your number isn't active.."

"Oh that.. Lobet.."

"You're all right, right?"

I was a little confused by Fauzi's question.

"I'm fine, why?"

"So, you're talking a little strange.."

"What's so weird?"

"Grandfather.. You if there's any story with me.."

"Yes.."

"Where did you go straight home?"

"Not anywhere..."

"But your mother said you're new nyampe, instead of coming home should've been from earlier.."

"And I told you I wanted to go with Nina, but I didn't.."

"So you wait for Nina first?"

"No, yeah.."

"Keep this long?"

"Are you suspicious of me again?"

"Well, how do you think that.. I'm kan.."

"You're gini because I thought I was running around, right?" I'm just cutting Fauzi's words.

"It's not just me.."

"You don't believe me because we're LDRan now?"

"Geez Salwa I don't mean that.."

"Continue?"

"I'm just worried because you've reached her house so late, I'm worried you're okay.."

"I've arrived home, which means I don't have a papa.."

"Yes.. I'm sorry I'm the name you keep.."

"Well, I want to rest first.."

"Your phone's activated.."

"Yes.. Yes, yes.."

"Jude, good rest.. I'm calling again.."

"Yes.." I decided on the phone.

Some people have said, who often accuse and are most often angry when asked about the possibility of him cheating, I am the real example. I don't know why I'm always upset if Fauzi asks, I always feel in the interrogation and feel Fauzi is too suspicious of me when it's only natural that Fauzi is suspicious because in fact I am indeed suspect at this time.

Not a short time, I've had an affair long enough and Fauzi still believes in all my reasons. It is no wonder that Fauzi began to suspect because I often answered Fauzi's questions with unreasonable answers or answered angrily Fauzi's questions so that he did not continue to wonder. I can angrily divert Fauzi's suspicions.

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Time showed almost four o'clock in the afternoon, unconsciously I fell asleep long enough while waiting for my phone that I was charging.

I lazily grabbed my phone, I activated it and there were some messages from Fauzi.

"I'm sorry.. I don't mean to make you uncomfortable with my questions.. I'm just worried.."

"This is the first time we've been so far apart, I'm not used to it yet.."

"Sorry, I'll try more to control myself so you don't bother me with all my questions.."

Did I go too far with Fauzi? Thought.

Just Fauzi's message? I don't know why I felt something was different after opening my phone but there was no message from Farhan. Is he really angry?

"Yes, it's not that I like him like Fauzi, but it must be just that I'm used to feeling lost" I thought to strengthen my faith.

.

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Time passed, it had been almost a week that Farhan had not contacted me. At first I always thought "It's okay, anyway I'm with him because I'm forced, all because of circumstances" to make my feelings better, but the longer I realize, the longer I realize, not just getting used to it but it looks like I really feel lost, I feel like something is missing. I could barely distinguish this feeling of loss from a forced lover or a lover I was slowly beginning to admit.

Because of my chaotic feelings, I often ignore Fauzi's phone for busy reasons and so on. I don't want Fauzi to be suspicious and make many more statements. Ah I'm really in trouble now.

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"Wei.. That's the face why is that?" Tanya Nina pinched my cheek which made me a little surprised.

"Why?"

"It's a mess, like stacking unwashed laundry weekly.."

"The likeness is slobber.."

"Yes, his face was like that.. Wh why? Any problem? Here's Nina's story.."

"No papa, I'm kind of sleepy again.."

"Kc.. Not just today your face looks like this, from yesterday-yesterday tangled continues.."

"Masa? But I'm not papa..."

"Don't lie.. Wh why? Is there a problem with Fauzi?"

"Son't.."

"Oh.. I-i know.. Kangen with Fauzi again, huh? Aren't you?"

I just smiled nodding nodding to Nina's statement so she wouldn't ask again.

"Patiently.. Let your longing be more nurturing, so that later if you meet with brother Fauzi can be redeemed with.."

"Kc.. The smart-ass singles.." I said cutting Nina's words in a slightly soft tone.

"Haha.. Let it be, rather than you having a girlfriend but keep upset.." Nina Ledek. I just smiled back.

"Salvah.."

"Yes.."

"I have something to say to you.."

"What?" My toot.

"Hem.. Not being a.."

"Kc.. What the hell, Nina's no fun.." I said pouty.

"Actually I just want it anyway.."

"What's mean? About what?" I asked more and more curious. Maybe not just curious, but to divert also so that my mind is not about Farhan continues. Maybe my feelings could be better if I was busy talking to Nina.

"Salva.. How do you think that matchmaking is?"

"Stupid? What's?"

"Well, what do you think matchmaking is? Good, or what?"

"You're betrothed?" I'm surprised..

"Sttts.. Don't be loud when others hear.."

"Oh sorry sorry... So you're actually being set up?" I whispered to Nina. Nina nodded.

"Who's same? How can?"

"don't know.. Not sure yet, just my mom had that conversation"

"I can't.."

"Yes can.. Mom asked if I had a boyfriend? I said no, so mom asked about the match.."

"Keep saying what?"

"I'm quiet, I don't know what to say. But mommy's just my papa doesn't want to make any sense, they just want me to meet the same person at least I have to respect them.."

"Keep meeting?"

"Not yet.."

"When's it?"

"Don't know either, said his mother still can't make it to meet because it's busy"

"People are young, right? It's not Om-Om, is it?"

"That's.. Yes it is not.. My mom wouldn't be happy if I was Om-om"

"Yes why keep saying he is busy, if it is busy means already work, it means already the fathers right.."

"yee.. Only the fathers can be busy..?"

"Bas it continuing??"

I kept asking Nina. The discussion about Nina's matchmaking really intrigued me and for a moment forgot my problem about Farhan