Dear, Soul!!

Not Only Love

It was still so early in the morning, that not so many visitors had come to the park. In addition because the day is still very early, also because today is a working day, making the park not far from the hotel is really still quiet.

Sasa savored and ate with ravenous breakfast that Azka made for him. Hunger instantly strikes him when the scent of food carried by Azka touches his sense of smell.

Azka who started to invite Sasa to chat after Sasa closed his morning breakfast, again made to feel sad when he saw Sasa who was crying just because he asked about his condition

“Sa, if anything incriminates you, same story me. I'm here so you can share with me”

Slowly, Sasa began to recount the chronology of what made him end up with puffy eyes. His feelings returned to a tremendous pain when he remembered everything that had happened to him last night.

Azka listened with pity. Azka also had time to wonder in her heart about how one can judge others based on her social status.

“So until now you have never seen Faiq again? Last night was?”

Sasa nodded, confirming Azka's question.

“I ended my relationship” Sasa said with his tears spilled back.

“Ka-you broke up? Why?” Azka asked who was surprised to hear the decision Sasa made. “You're so in love with him, Sa. Have you thought about this mature?”

Sasa nodded. “If you are posing for me with your already underrated pride, how does it feel? Can you stay?”

Azka was silent for a moment. All he thought about was, just from a feeling point of view, considering that Sasa always told me about how he loved Faiq so much.

“Feelings of love alone will not be able to make me live my relationship well and happy” explained Sasa.

“Yes I know, it's just are you sure you won't regret making a decision like this?. Yeah, I'm not in your position right now so I can say this, but come to think of it you've just met her again after all this time you've been feeling awake for her, and now you choose to end your relationship even though your feelings are still very much in love with her?"

Sasa lowered his head, he did not deny that occasionally he thought about this decision. Whether this was the right decision and he would not regret it later on, or it would be a disaster for himself. But whenever a dilemma begins to strike her, Sasa again reminds her of their different social status, which is very clear that events like last night could happen again later.

“I'm sure. All this time I loved him because I felt happy when I was with him first, but now everything has changed and it is no longer so. He's not the Faiq I knew. We who are today, are no longer like teenagers who think that enough with love we will be happy. My logical mind can no longer justify my relationship with Faiq”

Azka was silent, she no longer knew what to say. Azka always thought that she would be a very happy person if in the end Sasa's relationship ran aground with her lover. The feeling of love she had made her wish Sasa would end up with her partner.

But, after Sasa and Faiq decided to separate, Azka did not feel happy or happy to see him at all. Because what Sasa showed him after the breakup of the relationship he had with Faiq was just sadness. The sadness of seeing Sasa who was crying like this, brought away the happiness that Azka should have.

For Azka, the happiness of the person she loves is number one, even though the person is happy not with her. He did not want to make this kind of situation an opportunity for himself. Although he was very much looking forward and hoping Sasa could end up with his lover.

“Ya, hopefully it is the best option”

“I don't know what the future will be like. Before I was always alone, and now I'm alone again, I'm used to”

“Don't tell me you're alone, now there's me Sa. I will always be there for you”

Sasa turned to look at Azka, wiped his tears for a moment then smiled.

“Still, Ka”

Azka smiled back and helped Sasa wipe away her tears.

The two talked in the park for a long time. Azka makes some jokes to cheer Sasa up, and it quite manages to make Sasa better. Sasa, who had been crying since night plus again this morning, finally started laughing with the silly story Azka told him.

“Azka.”

“Hem??”

Azka looked at Sasa with a smile.

“It was I was created, let this Sasa not go through his own hard times”

Sasa was so moved to hear what Azka said. The man he had only known for the past year has been a great deal for his life.

“I know, I might falter if Faiq keeps coming to see me, but I have to be strong to keep my choice. Obviously, I must feel depressed when I'm with Faiq”

“What Faiq is not willing to leave his life now for you?”

Sasa turned to look at Azka, smiled for a moment then turned his attention back.

“She's ready. He said, he's ready to leave everything if I ask like that”

“Keep, why isn't it like that?”

“I'm selfish like that, Ka. It wasn't an easy road until Faiq could be in his position now. There was a time when he became addicted to alcohol just because he tried to enjoy his life when his father forced him to move and study abroad. Faiq had been at the lowest position in his life, and then rose as he is now. So who am I? Who suddenly came and asked him to leave behind all what he had achieved all this time with great difficulty, just for me”

Azka who was previously still very little confused by Sasa's decision to end his relationship with Faiq, because he knew Sasa loved Faiq very much. But after the final answer from Sasa, Azka finally understood.

Sasa, whose childhood is not living as other young girls should, must fight through his difficult times to be able to stand alone as he is now and enjoy life without pressure. So it is clear that if Sasa refuses to live with Faiq, it will certainly give him pressure given their far-reaching social status. Sasa only wants a simple and happy life.

Although Faiq was willing to give him such a life by being ready to give up all that was in his life at the moment, but Sasa still refused because Sasa was also considering Faiq's life. It was impossible for Sasa to take over Faiq's life and make the man who had succeeded with his efforts, return to the starting point only to live with him.

Azka stared fixedly at Sasa's face. Clearly he saw that there was as much nonchalance in Sasa's eyes as to let Faiq go, but he suppressed his ego as he could so that he would not become a woman who made Faiq's efforts go to waste.

“Faiq used to aspire to be a great architect, but in the end he buried all his dreams and went into business as he is now. Now that he's successful, I don't want to be the one to make that buried Faiq dream come to waste”

“You were right, I thought you made the wrong decision to let go of your loved ones. But in the end I understand your decision. Yes, love is not just about the two of you, many other things will enter your life if you force to be together. One of them, is to sacrifice your comfortable side of what you have each got so far”

“Iya, like that Ka..”

“Hem.. Congratulations on fighting Sa. I know, it's not easy for you to get through this. Your feelings of love over the years will not be able to be let go. But, with what you make the reason for this separation, it can definitely strengthen you”

“Still, Ka”

“And remember, there I am also ready to help you in any form”

Sasa looked at Azka with haru. Azka really prepared herself as a reliable person.

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Muehehe I am diligent today 😁 Mood is good, so can Up a lot2 😂