Dear, Soul!!

Unbearable

Wake me up from this nightmare...

It tormented me, showering me with pain..

Please tell me that this is not the truth..

Let me breathe as easily as usual..

Let me enjoy my day as always..

Please don't be this cruel to me..

Don't take my soulmate's memory away..

Don't disturb the memories we have together..

Even if it's a bad memory, still don't bring it..

What you made eraser in his head,

Please sing it out soon..

He is my half, how can I live when he is no longer complete..

Plsamg...

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I don't know how long Fauzi was silent and pecked in front of the doctor. Her tears were flowing, no longer flowing. His eyes seemed empty, in tune with his brain unable to think clearly.

The reality presented to him today, is a painful fact that will definitely make his life no longer the same as before.

“So, what should I do, Doc?” fauzi asked after staying quiet for quite a while.

“What we can do, just help your wife remember as much as possible and as long as possible”

Back Fauzi's tears dripped. What the doctor said to him just now, really made it clear that there was no way for his wife to heal.

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After picking up Mikayla, Fauzi didn't say much. Fauzi immediately locked himself in the workspace under the pretext of completing the work, and only came out of the room when dinner time arrived. Even after dinner Fauzi was still at home struggling with his wandering thoughts. Choosing to be alone again, for the sake of being able to think clearly. What the doctor said to her this afternoon, was still the thing that constantly harassed her. How not, he presented facts about his wife who has no way to heal, and will slowly forget everything, including himself.

The night is rising. But Fauzi was still pensive in his study while thinking about Salwa. He could not think how Salwa was, when what his wife suffered, buried all the memories they had little by little. Fauzi always hoped that the fact that haunted them now was just a nightmare.

But unfortunately, what he and Salwa experienced, was too real to be a dream. This whole thing is real! Totally real. And Fauzi felt that he was not strong enough to accept this bitter reality. Fauzi buried his face behind his palms. Sighs deeply, deeply, and desperately.

Fauzi wants to be gone. His heart refused to believe the facts. But it was not an easy thing to do, as he watched with his own eyes, how his wife was slowly getting different from before.

“Siangs.”.

Salwa call disperse Fauzi's reverie. Fauzi quickly wiped the tears that had previously been pooled when thinking about his wife's health condition earlier.

“Iya.” Fauzi replied turning around, revealing his smile. Hiding the pain she had.

“You much work huh? I've been waiting for you, but you're not out of here”

“Sorry darling. Yes, my job is many”

“Rest first, don't be forced.”

Fauzi just smiled. He moved from his seat, approached Salwa and gave her a warm embrace. Salwa was a little confused to get the treatment of Fauzi who suddenly just hugged her.

“Why? What was? Did something happen??”

“No, I just want to hug you like this”

Fauzi's tears are back. No matter how hard he tried to contain his feelings, but still he lost to the pain that was raining on him at this time.

Salwa returned her husband's embrace, with a tighter embrace. Without a hint of knowing what kind of ill feeling was slashing her husband's feelings right now.

“Honey, you should always remember me yes.”

“Hem??”

Salwa looked up slightly at the sudden question from her husband.

Salwa laughed a little. “What are you talking about, baby? Who wants to forget you”

“You have to promise. Promise to always remember me, our children, our family and all.”

Fauzi eventually lost his defense. The tears he desperately held, now spilled unstoppable.

“Dear you why?”

Salwa was surprised to see Fauzi's sudden reaction in tears.

“Shy.... Baby why are you? What's up?”

Salwa took off her embrace, the question no one got an answer from her husband who looked bitterly flooded with tears.

“I love you Salwa, I love you. I don't want you to escape, I don't want to be a stranger in your life.. I don't want.”

The feeling of pain that he had stored himself, was now overflowing without being prevented. It was very difficult for Fauzi to quell the sorrow that wrapped his soul.

“What are you talking about, baby? I can't forget you, I love you, love you. You why? What's up?”

There was no reply from Fauzi, he put his wife back in the arms. She tightened her arms to release all the tightness that was in her heart. Salwa, who had no idea what had happened to her husband, was just trying to calm down. Giving a gentle rub on the head to the back of Fauzi, in the hope of what she did, can give a little sense of calm to her husband.

There were no more words that Fauzi said, he just kept crying like a child who did not get what he wanted. Salwa did not ask anymore, she understood that her husband needed time to express all his feelings.

After some time, Fauzi who had peaked with all the sadness he suffered, slowly began to subside and calm down. But he was still perched in Salwa's arms. Burning his face on his wife's smooth shoulder, his still-circled hand tightly hugged Salwa.

“Honey, are you okay?”

After being silent for a long time, Salwa again asked to confirm the condition of her husband. Fauzi nodded slowly, giving an answer with a gesture. Slowly Salwa took off her arms, but quickly Fauzi returned with Salwa in her arms.

“Liar like this used”

Salwa was silent again. Letting her husband wrestle by her side.

“I'm sorry.”

Fauzi's voice still rattled and trembled.

“Sorry for what?”

“Because I've made you worried tonight”

Salwa rubbed her husband's head again.

“It's okay. If there is something stifling in your heart, just spill it” replied Salwa understandingly. “But you really are okay, right baby??” once again Salwa ensured the condition of her husband.

“Iya. I just suddenly felt afraid, afraid you would forget me and leave me”

Salwa pulled Fauzi's hand back from her waist. Let go of her husband's embrace gently. This time Fauzi did not refuse, he no longer pulled Salwa back in his arms and hid her face on Salwa's shoulder. Her husband's eyes were so disturbing to Salwa. She became worried, because this was the first time after they got married seven years ago, she found her husband crying so hard for no apparent reason.

A reason would be fear of loss and fear of being forgotten that Fauzi kept saying from earlier, and that was a little strange according to Salwa. For Salwa their domestic relationship was fine, and there was no possibility of anything bad happening to them, then how could her husband think such obscure things?

Well, for Salwa who was unaware of her condition, she must have felt that everything was fine. It was different with Fauzi, who knew that Salwa was not doing well. Salwa wiped the remains of tears that had not yet completely dried from Fauzi's face.

“What do you think, baby? Why talk about something that doesn't make sense like that?” salwa asked softly.

“Let's know, I suddenly thought of something like that. Make me feel scared” replied Fauzi lying. He couldn't have told his wife the truth.

Salwa smile. “That's not possible, I can't forget you. You said yourself, if you were in my heart, so I couldn't possibly forget you”

“I also hope like that.”

Fauzi's tears again.

“Do not think again” Salwa wiped the clear tears that re-wet her husband's cheeks. “The thing that scares you, don't think about it. I will always be there for you, always love you, and will not forget you”

Fauzi just nodded slowly, with his tears still dripping despite the many times Salwa wiped him down.

Fauzi who cried like a child, making Salwa must act like a mother who must calm her son.

Salwa raised her husband's face slowly, who had lowered her eyes with tears. In her kisses her husband's cheeks, forehead, nose, to his lips, and finally again give a warm embrace to her husband, if it can calm all the turmoil that is enveloping her husband's heart. Fauzi hugged tightly.

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The clock on the wall became the only sound of the late night. Salwa who previously always insomnia, somehow tonight can sleep earlier, and it is inversely proportional to Fauzi. Fauzi was still awake, his eyes were very difficult to shut because of bad thoughts, which continued to flutter in his head.

Fauzi looked at Salwa's shady and peaceful face in his sleep. Gently caressed his wife's cheeks and put away the strands of annoying hair on his smooth face. His tears returned, unable to contain his feelings.

“I love you.” he whispered softly.

Salwa hands that began to stretch from his waist, Fauzi again lifted by increasingly holding it. Salwa, who was momentarily awake by Fauzi's treatment, only opened her eyes at a glance and smiled and placed her hand further on her husband's waist, brought her face closer to Fauzi's chest and buried it there.

“Beautiful dreams my dear. Bring me there too, our son and all our memories, present them all in your dreams.”.