Dear, Soul!!

The Continuing Misconception

Food tasted bland, probably because the feeling was in a bad state. My thoughts are still revolving around what happened last night, about what happened between me and Farhan and about Fauzi and other women. Ah, make the appetite so lost taste.

"You want dessert? Ice cream?" Ask Farhan.

"It's still morning, brother.." Flat answer.

"Cupcakes? do you like sweet ones, right? want cake?"

I'm shaking.

"Why you?" Farhan asked who was confused to see me.

I raised my face that had lowered from earlier with a thousand vague thoughts in my head.

"Sir dad.." My answer is to try to smile.

"Salwa, don't be like this?"

"What?" Manyaku flat.

"I'm not happy to see you like this isn't the Salwa I know.."

I just fell silent..

"You still think about last night's problems? Don't think about it too late Salwa, you have to...."

"Sister.. We're in front of the food, it's not good to talk about something like this." I cut.

"Oh, Sorry.." Farhan said and began to fall silent.

To be honest, I was lazy to talk about it last night, but I also couldn't keep letting Farhan misunderstand my relationship with him. If I keep letting this misunderstanding go, he'll get hurt harder later.

**

Farhan took me for a walk in the park, just a morning exercise and get positive energy from the morning sun. I went along, walking like a man out of steam while waiting for the right time to explain what should be explained.

"Salwa, do you like to take a morning walk?" Tanya Farhan opened the conversation.

"Once upon a time.." Answer's short.

"Hem.. definitely not had time either. You will be busy, this weekend you must still have a training schedule and maybe some organizational meetings.." Farhan continued walking towards the empty seat on the edge of the park.

"Not really.." Answer me while sitting.

"I think you'll be busy even on weekends, considering your many activities.."

"I'm not that busy, there are not always meetings either and there are not always races that require me to train every weekend." I explained

"Thank God it's like that, so you have a break.. So if you don't practice usually weekends what do you do?" Ask Farhan.

Farhan was like a reporter who was doing an interview session with me, and then asked. I see her point, she's trying to make things less awkward, and maybe trying to distract me from thinking about the last one. I know Farhan is a good person who thinks about it for me.

"Road with Fauzi.." Answer me while looking down. Farhan slightly flinched

"Oh. hehehe, this time it's the same way I am.." The answer sounds a little awkward.

I think this is a good time to explain everything to Farhan.

"Salvana..."

Not yet I explained, Farhan has started a new conversation.

"Yes." I replied.

"Sister.."

"I once sincerely let you go, I never sincerely saw you with Fauzi even though I love you very much. I think because love is not about having but about seeing our loved ones happy and I know your happiness is with Fauzi. I always thought, Fauzi is perfect to be next to you, he can take care of you and make you happy so I don't have to have you and take care of you. Confronting you with Fauzi is the best way I love you. But Salwa, seeing you like last night makes me no longer sincere, all this time I believe Fauzi can make you happy so I retreat but now there seems to be no reason for me to retreat again"

"But brother.."

"Salwa I know, you don't have any feelings for me so I'm really grateful for giving me the opportunity, I will try my best to make you love me and make you happy. I'm so happy.."

I didn't know what else to say, hearing Farhan's explanation kept me from telling the truth. I just stayed quiet for a while.

"I know these are difficult times for you, so I'll help you through them"

I'm at a loss for words. I don't know if I should start talking about this misunderstanding or not. Or should I wait for another time. Arrghhh has not been about Fauzi, now there is Farhan again.

"The sun is getting higher, let's go home.. Or where do you want to play??"

I'm shaking. "I'm just going home.."

"Yaudah, let me take you.."

Along the way Farhan continued to tell me stories, he told me at length about something I did not understand. I only smile occasionally and say yes to Farhan's words so that I don't ignore him. My mind went nowhere, it felt from the many Farhan stories only a few were clearly heard by me, the rest was just like a hum.

I arrived at the front of the house, Farhan took off his seatbelt.

"Don't.." Megatku. "I went in by myself.."

"You don't want me to take you.."

"Grandfather, it's also a little afternoon.Sister may have other activities to do at this time"

"No, there is still time if only to nganter you to the front door"

"No, sister, you didn't shower here, did you? brother keeps showering"

"Why? I smell huh??" Said Farhan kissing the surroundings.

"No, just if the bath is getting more and more sultry.."

"Hem.. I'm thrilled.."

"Happy? why?"

"hehe feels like I'm being watched by that girlfriend.." Farhan cengengesan.

I just smiled "Ah. It seems like I'm mispronouncing this" I thought.

"Judah I'm back.."

I just smiled.. "Be careful, brother.."

Farhan passed, I walked into the yard with a sigh. I planned all that I would say, I prepared verse by verse my words, neatly arranged the words I would say so as not to hurt Farhan too much, but in fact I didn't say anything because I felt bad for Farhan. Obviously Farhan was very happy with our relationship which was just this misunderstanding, Farhan looked very serious with his words. I really can't tell you the truth.

My steps stopped at the door. Someone was standing there for how long, looking dull and crumpled.

"Salvana..."

"What are you doing here?"

I just want to go, just seeing it makes me sick..