Dear, Soul!!

Ends.

Sasa ran away from the party inhabited by the upper elite. Sasa could no longer hold back his feelings and tears, so he needed a place where no one would see him so that he could shed all the pain and tightness he felt. Sasa had restrained himself as much as he could when he was around Faiq's friend, to keep his self-esteem that was being smeared there.

“Iya Sa, this place is not suitable for you, there is not a party suitable for your kind.” Sasa murmured that was aimed at himself and wiped roughly his tears.

What Faiq's friends said continued to ring in his ears, as if to clarify the differences in social status they had. This made Sasa feel inferior.

Sasa recalled back, where he had felt the same way before. He who feels unworthy with Faiq because Faiq is the one who is, while she is only an orphan woman who must fight with all her energy to get a better life.

Faiq was a child born with a golden spoon in his mouth, he did not have to feel much bitterness in his life.

Even so, when Faiq asked her to be his lover first, he was still willing after going through many considerations. The hardworking Faiq of the time to realize his dream of becoming an architect, led Sasa to believe that they were both fighting for their future, making Sasa feel there is no difference in social status far between them. Not to mention, the old Faiq friends, no one looked at a person with as he pleased, even one who was very supportive of his relationship with Faiq. Yes, he is Fauzi.

But now, Faiq has transformed into a great man, his environment is automatically changed. Faiq became an elite man, whose talk was always about business and profit. Yes, the present Sasa was clearly better than the one he used to be. She was a very adept in her field, being a gentle nurse to patients with great sacrifice. Even so, it still can not if in a pair with a man as great as Faiq.

Sasa continued walking, not knowing where his steps led. The pain he felt could no longer make him have a purpose at this time, he just walked to get away from the party that the elite held there.

It is not only the pain of self-esteem that is underestimated by Faiq's friends. The pain of knowing one lie from Faiq was also what made him even more convinced to leave the party. Even now, it was not only the party that he wanted to leave behind, but also Faiq.

Everything he saw and heard tonight, gave him the realization that he was not a person worthy of Faiq, and not a person worthy of Faiq. For what is the feeling of love, if the feeling of pressure also accompanies. When he chose to live with Faiq later in life, it was not just about the love they were fighting for. But the social status and outlook of people will also definitely affect it.

“Sasa..”.

Sasa turned his head, although his vision was not so clear due to the puddles in his eye sashes, but Sasa was still able to recognize the voice of a man who was none other than Faiq. He faintly saw Faiq running towards him.

Sasa again turned around and continued in his footsteps, without caring about Faiq chasing after him behind. His tears continued to flow even though he had already flowed many times.

“Sasa..” Call Faiq by reaching Sasa's hand.

With just a single pull from Faiq, Sasa's small body immediately turned to face Faiq.

“Where are you going? Said he was going to toilet”

“I want to go home.”

“Sayang.. Sorry my friends, they didn't mean to like me”

“Why should you apologize on behalf of your friends, what they say is true”

“Gak, their words are outrageous, they look at people from one corner of course”

“That's natural for those of you who play in the business world. Your world is like that right, everything you do, you have to consider the benefits you get. Including couple.”

“It's not like that.”

“But the fact that Faiq. Your friends made me aware, they opened my eyes wide until they realized that I was not the person who deserved you. Our social status difference is too far”

“Care what my friends say, we should not make their words a benchmark. We are people who love each other Sasa, so why should we be like this just because of people's talk??”

“Love?? What good is love if the environment is not supportive?? This feeling of my love is nothing compared to my pride Faiq. No matter how much love I have for you, it still means nothing if my logic is not enough I make it continue this. We got here”

Both of Faiq's eyeballs reflexively widened hearing what Sasa said.

“What are you talking about anyway, Sa?”

“I can no longer maintain our relationship, Faiq. We are two very different people, you with your status like that, and I.”

“And you?? You why?? What a difference does it make me the same as you. Why do you care about people's speech, they are like that, judging something as they please. We will not be able to shut their mouths to stop commenting, so shut your ears and ignore their words. We love each other, and have nothing to do with them”

“Faiq, in the future you want how do I feel with your love?”

“I want to live with you, marry you and be happy with you”

“That's impossible”

“Why is it impossible? Why is it impossible if we love each other”

“Married is not just about loving each other. When I become your wife, they will reproach me by saying that I am a shameless woman. They'll look at me with a scary look, I'll be depressed. And yuuu?? You cannot leave what you have now, so now or how many decades in the future, you will stay in touch because that is what your world is like. I won't be happy just because you love me”

“So, I can leave everything if that's what makes you happy”

“Have you ever lived hard?? Have you ever felt hungry?? When you lived in Fauzi's house first, you kept complaining to me right, you constantly feel tired and have trouble sleeping. That's when you still enjoy the facilities that your father gave you, especially now that you have everything and live comfortably, do you think you can let go of everything just for me??”

Faiq was silent for a moment.

“See, now you doubt right??”

“But Sa..”

“Already Faiq, I can't take it anymore. Not only because of our social status, you are also not honest with me”

“Honest? About what else? I told you everything”

Faiq was a little jolted, he forgot about Alesha and just focused on what his friends had said about Sasa.

“You said, you never loved another woman besides me, but in fact?? I thought you'd been honest about everything Faiq, but it wasn't. If your friend doesn't say Alesha's problem, you won't tell me the same story

“It's not so, Sa. My relationship with Alesha is just a business basis, nothing more” Faiq explained. He couldn't possibly say that he was using Alesha as bait to get an agreement, let alone tell her about the dirty things he used to use Alesha.

“Business too?? Does every business need women and fake relationships? Your marriage is for business, and you're dating for business too? So how's it going? Is it when we are married, you have to tuck other women with business reasons?”

“Gak, Sa. I'm not like that anymore now”

“Whatever you say, your world is indeed different from mine. What you do in your life is too scary for me. I won't be able to live just because you love me, but depressed with a lot of things”

“Sa, now you're just angry so talk like this”

“Gak, Faiq. Now that I'm conscious, we really have to end. I can't continue this relationship with you”

“So, I don't want to split. You said you love me but why are you like this?”

“It means nothing to my love, Faiq. It will only hurt me more if I force it to continue. We got here”

“Gak, I don't want.”

Sasa did not care what Faiq said, he continued his steps.

“Sa, you can't do this same to me..”

Faiq was still trying to catch up to Sasa, he grabbed onto Sasa's wrist and grasped it firmly.

“You hurt me, Faiq” Sasa said with his tears spilling profusely. “Those feelings of love hurt me, what's in your life it's not something I can get into. I won't be strong living life with you feeling depressed”

Sasa lowered his head wiping his increasingly heavy tears.

“I beg you, let's just finish this. I'm afraid my life will be hard again if I continue living with you. I can't believe gini”

Faiq's tears slowly trickled down, he stood staring at the face of the woman he loved with tears. It was painful to see Sasa sobbing like that. Faiq clearly saw, how scared Sasa was at the moment.

“Did my presence hurt you so much, Sa? Is my life so different from yours that you're afraid to enter my world??”

Now not only the tears of Sasa flowing profusely, the two eyes of Faiq have now flooded.

“Is my feeling of love not enough to calm you down? I don't want to separate from you Sa, I love you. Can't you withstand a little bit of pressure from what's in my life? Don't you want to fight through it together?”

Sasa shook his head. Sasa who lived from childhood without parents, felt how bitter life was. He who has now risen with all his abilities, has his own worries to be with Faiq.

Sasa realized, the life pressure he would face if he chose to live with Faiq would be very heavy. It was not only Faiq who had been dishonest twice, and also the way Faiq was in a relationship just because of business. But also, Faiq's environment was clearly different from his and what he saw earlier that the people around Faiq were very easy to look at others with triviality if they were not on the same level. Not just friends, even Sasa felt that from the gaze of Faiq's father earlier..

“I can't, I'm not ready. I'm afraid of your life”

Faiq still hopes that Sasa will change his decision and still try to fight with him. But it seemed, Sasa could no longer consider his invitation and it made him realize that their world was indeed very different.

“I love you Sa, but if it hurts you.. L'm.. Me...”

Faiq did not continue his words, he turned around and walked away from Sasa.

The feelings of both people are equally broken, those who are currently hurting each other even though they have the same feelings. Social status that is too far away has really separated them. The love that both held sky-high for so many years, apparently could not penetrate the significant difference in life between them. Giving up seems like the best option for them.

Faiq who walked left Sasa first, stopped. He thought, Is this the end of his love story? His feelings strongly did not allow him to continue his move away from Sasa, although his logic chose to leave Sasa in order to release the woman he loved was from the pressure due to social status is too far away.

For a moment Faiq thought, he did not want to torture Sasa by holding the woman by his side, but the still passionate feeling of love made him a little selfish and wanted Sasa back.

“So, I'll be sorry if I take off Sasa, I'll be sorry. I should have tried to make her comfortable, not give up and let her go. No, I can't take off Sasa”

Faiq turned around, and again ran towards the place where he had left Sasa before, but when he arrived there he no longer met the figure of the woman in his car.

Faiq called Sasa several times, shouting while walking around in the hope that he could still get Sasa there.

There was no word of his calling, and no one was there. Make Faiq change his course, running back to the building where the party was held where his car was parked there.

In a hurry, Faiq carried his car at high speed. Sometimes he turned to the right and left, if he could get the figure of Sasa at the corner of the road.

Faiq makes his car speed higher, he can't wait to get to Sasa's house and return to meet Sasa to ask the woman he loves to continue their relationship.

“I will try to tear down everything that is your fear Sa, I will make you feel comfortable living with me and without fear of my life”

The car that drove quickly, making Faiq did not take too long to be able to arrive at Sasa's house. Faiq hurriedly stepped into Sasa's courtyard and knocked on the door leaf many times, but there was no reply from Sasa.

Not getting a response despite knocking many times, making Faiq reach for his phone and try to contact Sasa. But everything was the same, Faiq did not get a reply from his call. Even Sasa's number is no longer active now.

Frustrated at Faiq, he sat down on the doorstep of Sasa's house, with tears streaming down. He cursed himself, and even innocent hair was targeted by Faiq to release his feelings.