Dear, Soul!!

Insomnias..

The night was getting late but I still could not sleep. the lights I put out so I could fall asleep but still I was awake, I don't know what makes my eyes lazy to close even though the dim lights on the bedside table still can't bring drowsiness to my eyes.

I glanced at the wall clock, though dimly still I clearly saw less than 15 minutes left at 12, I turned to the right and left restlessly because I could not fall asleep.

I took out my phone which I had made airplane mode. I opened the gallery on my phone and saw some photos I took this afternoon while walking with Fauzi. I constantly swiped my phone screen and found some photos that showed the moments I passed while with Fauzi.

Slowly my tears trickled, I could not control my feelings. Fauzi has always been kind to me, but what am I doing now? I was playing with someone behind him who was none other than his own best friend. All this time I've always said this doesn't matter in my heart, after all this happened because Fauzi first had another woman. But after coming out with Farhan earlier, seeing Farhan's slightly curtailed response made me realize how well Fauzi had treated me all this time for not restraining me, Fauzi never even expressed his wish and only followed what I wanted.

I wiped my tears. "Maybe my feelings might improve a little if I call Fauzi right now" I thought. Yeah, even though it's midnight now and Fauzi's probably asleep, but she must have woken up when I called her.

"Why baby?" Fauzi asked in a raucous voice from across the phone when answering my call.

"Have you slept?" My toot.

"Hem. just now.."

"Coc was twelve o'clock this night.."

"Yes, just opened the UAN material earlier.."

"Until midnight??"

"Yes that's how it is.." Fauzi spoke like a half-conscious. "But twelve o'clock at night, you haven't slept, baby?" Fauzi asked back which seemed like his consciousness was starting to increase.

"I can't sleep.."

"Why? Kok tumben's.."

"I don't know either..."

"You got a problem? How come this hour hasn't slept?"

"Yes.." Answer's short.

"Why you, baby??" Fauzi asked in a surprised tone.

"I... I miss you, too.." I answered and slowly began to sob.

"Darling.. You cry?"

I just fell silent.

"Salwa.. Why do you love? Don't make me worry.."

"I'm not papa, I just miss you.." I again couldn't control my feelings. It felt like my emotions were peaking considering what had happened lately.

"The same kangen that I cried? Hey, same story with me.."

"So, I'm really just kangen with you, so kangennya to want to cry it feels.."

"Cup cup.. I'm crying it out.."

I slowly began to be able to control my feelings, my cries began to subside.

"I'm sorry, baby, when you think I can't do anything.."

"No papa, besides this clock you can also what"

"Hem.wait until I grow up. Wait until I succeed later, when the time comes your parents' responsibilities will move to me and you can make up for your daily longings, there will be a time when every day you will squirm me on, me again and me again until it feels like you are tired of squirming me later. Want to sleep squirming me, wake up sleep squirming me too. hehehe" he said gently.

I can't tell him that I'm happy to hear Fauzi say that, hearing Fauzi like that is like hearing Fauzi plan his future where he prepares a place for me in the future.

"Is it going to be like that in the future?"

"What are you doing that?"

"I'm just his name.."

"Hem.." Fauzi let out a long sigh "I can't promise something like that to you, even though I really want to but I don't have the ability to be sure of such a thing. Now I'm trying, studying hard to get into a good university, graduating quickly and then working until later I'm well established and just come to your parents to ask for this precious daughter.. Hem just wait and pray for me, baby.."

"You're that far he thought.."

"Yes dong, I have to prepare such a plan so that our relationship is not like the song Armada later.."

"meaning?" I'm confused.

"You are taken where our relationship is.. If you keep procrastinating..🎶🎶" Fauzi started singing "Eh but I didn't procrastinate anyway, it's time that hasn't been delivered yet" Cheltuk Fauzi later said. "It's positive thinking while trying your best, baby.. We arrange in the future what the rest just ask for God's blessing.."

"I'm happy.."

"I'm also happy that you're happy.."

"Thank you for everything Ozi.."

"hem yes.. How is the kangen already softened? I'm starting to sleep.."

"Yes.."

"Judah there sleep, I will see you later if you hear that you've slept and then I'm off the phone.."

"Why do you keep doing it?"

"Take a wait for you to sleep the most open book about UN again.."

"How do you know if I'm sleeping?"

"I'll call you later, if you don't know, then you're asleep.. Or do I want to sing?"

"No, while studying.."

"Jude, you're sleeping there.."

"Yes.."

I put my phone on the bedside table. Staring back at my ceiling, I occasionally heard sheets of books from across the phone, maybe Fauzi put his phone right next to his study book.

Time passed, already about half an hour ago I put down my phone but still I couldn't fall asleep. I began to realize, what could not make me fall asleep was my worry and uneasiness about my relationship with Fauzi which now has Farhan among them. I was thinking, did I tell Fauzi the same thing about this, but it felt like digging yourself a hole, huffttt was really troublesome.

No more voices from across the phone, the sound of books that were still heard now is no longer heard. Is Fauzi asleep? It's not me Fauzi's waiting to sleep, but I'm waiting for Fauzi to fall asleep.

"Repidote.." Call me slowly to make sure Fauzi is awake or asleep.

"Dear you called me?" I heard Fauzi's reply from across the phone but it sounded like it was a little far from his phone.

"You haven't slept?" Much

"Well, how am I? Why aren't you asleep?" Fauzi said he was heard approaching his phone.

"Can't yet...."

"Hem. This is already going to be two in the morning, baby and you have not slept. Don't because tomorrow you're not testing again so stay up like this. You need to rest.."

"I can't sleep.."

"So how's this going?"

"Do not know.."

"Hem. I sing to go to bed quickly.."

"Son.. I want something.."

"What?"

Fauzi who initially helped me fall asleep now even stayed up late with me.