Dear, Soul!!

Jealous..

I threw my body into bed..

"Hufffttt. I'm tired.." Mumbles.

I closed my eyes for a moment. "Emmmhh..." I stretched my arm muscles by pulling my hand up. "It's like a coolie worker until you stretch your muscles" I thought grumbling. I just took a short walk with Fauzi earlier, driving around the park on my bike, even then I just sat sweetly in the back while snacking, but why do I feel more tired than Fauzi who has to pedal a bike plus my load is piggybacked.

Some visitors to the park glanced at us, some smiled at us, some laughed a little, yes naturally they laugh anyway who are these two humans who roam around riding a bike in the hot sun. There is also a look with a strange look maybe his mind "This child still wears school uniform has run loose" But it's up to people to think what, what, my mind does not need to consume the assumptions of a society that gives itself the right to judge a person as it pleases.

I looked at the ceiling of my room with a light bulb hanging there. My mind was empty and my eyes were just twirling around without a point I could focus on.

Tong..

One incoming message on my phone surprised me. I grabbed my phone in the rangsel bag I was using.

"Home home?" Message received from Farhan

"Yes.." My reply

"Where? Exclaim?"

"What?"

"Yes the streets"

"Yes.."

"Thank God.."

I just replied to Farhan's message with an emoticon.

"Salvah.." Farhan sent me a message after a while, only with emoticons.

"Why?" Answer me

"My feeling is not good.."

"Why? Sick brother?" My reply.

"No.."

"Then?"

"Ah is nothing.. You must be tired, rest up.."

Seeing Farhan's message like that made me a little anxious. I called her to make sure she was okay.

"Why call?" Ask when I answer my phone

"Because I'm worried.."

"Worry?"

"Big brother why?"

"I'm not okay"

"Why is the message like that?"

"Hemm.my feelings are just a little unpleasant.."

"Yes.. not good why? if I just say it's not good, I know.."

"I want to be like Fauzi, too.."

"I mean.."

"I also want to spend my time just like Fauzi, I also want to be able to walk here and there with you"

"So, I don't think we've ever walked.."

"Yes, I also don't know why. ah don't talk about it, you rest.."

"Oh yaudah if so I rest first.. I'm dead brother.."

"Wait the fuck.." Stiffness. I almost decided on the phone.

"Why?"

"What's wrong with me?"

"What's wrong again?"

"Maybe I'm jealous.. Am I wrong?"

"It seems so.."

"Sir, why the jealousy of Fauzi anyway? you know how Fauzi is like?"

"Yes I know, Fauzi is your girlfriend. So I'm the one your boyfriend shouldn't be jealous of, either?"

"Well, what does her sister want? I'm not going with Fauzi?"

"Yes no, it's just..."

"Sister, this is a risk that you have to bear. I told you that I wouldn't be able to treat you the way I treat Fauzi.."

I don't know either, maybe because I'm tired I got a little angry and took it to Farhan. I know, I was wrong but still I feel annoyed considering Farhan is jealous while this situation is his choice.

"Yes I know, I'd say maybe I'm jealous, you're my boyfriend and the same way a guy who's not me is obviously I'm jealous.."

"Yaudah, let's just let brother not be jealous if I go with Fauzi.."

Farhan was silent for a moment.

"Is it because I'm the only one who loves you and you're not so easy to break up?"

I'm speechless.

"Are you messing around with how I feel?"

"What the hell is it? The brother who wants to be like this. Brother who wants to stay with me and bear all the risks whatever you'll feel but now..."

"But that doesn't mean you're lightly talking about breaking up?"

"Serus brother wants what? Brother want to prevent me from going with Fauzi??"

"It's not like that.."

"Oh brother also wants to go with me, yaudah let's go.."

"Salwa I don't mean it like that.."

"What's sister like? Brother jealous wriggling me path with Fauzi, if you ask me not to make the same path Fauzi will not be possible, so make it clear that brother's jealousy yes the same path I also will.."

"I just don't feel good about Salwa.."

"Jaudah let's go, so that the feeling of brother can be good too, just be ready first.."

"Salvah.."

"Otherwise, brother??"

"I'm not asking you to walk with me.."

"If not go on, what does your brother want? Just keep getting ready, let me walk to brother's house.."

"No, no need.."

"So, if today we don't walk, all day brother will continue to mengedumel to me.."

"Salvah.."

"Oh yeah, I want to get ready first, I'll go straight to big brother's house.."

"Don't go home, let me pick you up.."

"Let me, let brother be satisfied if I pick him up.."

"Son, don't go home, let me go there.."

"Why?"

"Yes.yeah no why-why.let me just pick you up.."

"Jaudah is up to the sister.. I'll get ready first.." I said and decided on the phone.

My tiredness that was immediately lost because I was upset. Not once did Farhan complain when I ran out of my way with Fauzi, although this was the first time Farhan had confessed to jealousy. Farhan did not directly complain just that his chat would continue to enter every time he knew I was out with Fauzi, chat that is not clear even occasionally just mention my name repeatedly. Sometimes I just keep quiet and reply to her chat like that, but today it feels really tiring if I don't take Farhan out as well, maybe he'll keep interfering with his chat and phone calls, I think by taking him out maybe he'll stop.

Sometimes I'm a little curious about Farhan, a lot of what I want to ask him is he's just afraid to ask more, he could have misinterpreted and felt that I was trying to get to know him more deeply. That will make the misunderstanding worse.

Farhan never allowed me to just play at his house, like every time I wanted to go to his house Farhan would always force him to come home to pick me up. Once my Charger was left in his car, because I felt I would trouble him if he delivered my charger so I intended to take my charger directly but Farhan forbade, he said, until finally he came to take my charger home.

Ah I don't know what Farhan really hid, I used to ask him about how Farhan was at home to Fauzi, but Fauzi replied that he said it made no difference to him, if Farhan free time will play games even occasionally Fauzi there just to play games.