Dear, Soul!!
Fayq & Sasa (2)
Sasa just sat down without looking at Faiq sitting in front of him. Previously he had intended to leave Faiq with his slightly sensitive chatter, but ended up staying when Faiq held him back.
There was absolutely no intention of Sasa to avoid Faiq, he just did not know what to behave like now, he was so shocked by their sudden encounter. The gluttonous nature that he had displayed earlier was also an impulsive action that he did due to confusion in responding to Faiq's sudden question. But that seems to make Faiq misrepresenting.
Faiq's gaze that could not be separated from him, made him misbehaved and increasingly confused what to look like. He could not dodge much less forbid Faiq to continue looking at him.
“How are you?” Tanya Faiq broke the silence that had occurred between them.
“Not you asked earlier.”
“I need your real answer, not the one you want to answer like that”
“My news is fine, and it is not the origin of the answer.”
“You... really no one you want to ask me?”
If Sasa could have said it, the question would not have run out even if they had spent a long time sitting together. It was just that the questions he had, he was unable to ask and could only keep them.
“No..”
“My news doesn't make you curious? Or at least want to know?”
“Aren't you okay? You look like this, also came with an appointment with Fauzi to discuss Fauzi's change of position as director. Less good what's up you”
“Seeing like what? Looking handsome?” Tempted Faiq with his slightly flattering smile next to his upper lip.
Faiq's words caused Sasa to be confused in responding. He himself was not aware before of what he was saying. He just said what he saw, and rightly Faiq looks handsome today. Ah no, but it was so handsome that it made him let loose saying that earlier.
“What's wrong I said? You're a boy so there's no way I'm saying you're getting pretty. Don't focus too much on a single word that just passes by without me noticing” Obviously Sasa is trying to distract Faiq from what he said earlier. Even though it was a truth that he could not deny.
“You're not what you used to be. You who used to not conclude something based on what you see”
“Time has passed, right? And that was enough to make me change”
“What is so right?”
“What?”
“You changed”
“That's a natural thing”
Sasa's reply, which always gave a cold impression, made Faiq seamakin justify what was on his mind.
Faiq was silent for a moment, I don't know what he was thinking until he no longer interrupted every answer Sasa. He bowed, took a deep breath and then again set his eyes on the woman who was still the only one who reigned in his heart, the woman he still loved.
“You hate me?”
The thought of Sasa hating him finally overflowed with questions.
Sasa who had just looked out, slowly turned to look at Faiq.
Why does he always ask questions like this? Why think like this?Do I look like someone who hates it?
Sasa's gaze which he did not let go, made the gazes of the two lock for a moment.
“You think like that about me?” Sasa asked with his slightly sharp gaze. There was a sense of displeasure that he felt for Faiq's mind which he thought was so unfounded. Questions that have the impression of accusing the no-no and without evidence.
“Sorry if it's wrong, but.”
“I have no reason to hate the same you” Cut Sasa.
Faiq was slightly surprised to hear Sasa's statement. He himself actually confirmed if only Sasa hated him, given what he had done to Sasa in the past.
“You don't hate me?”
“Why should I hate you?” Sasa asked back.
Faiq lowered his head, recalled what had happened a few years ago, and harmonized with how Sasa had answered earlier. It seemed that his guess about Sasa hating him was not wrong. But if it is true that Sasa said, that he hated himself, it was a thanksgiving for Faiq
Faiq's words made it clear to his mind that it was possible for Sasa to hate him for something that happened in the past.
“You must have your own reasons to do that”
Sasa's answer gave a special relief to Faiq's feelings. When he left Sasa a few years ago, left without any news and completely unannounced, he could already think of Sasa who could have hated him. But hearing Sasa's reply just now, it was as if telling him that what he had been thinking all along was wrong.
“You're not mad at me? No hate?” Faiq asked enthusiastically with a smile accompanying his question.
Sasa gave a small laugh, making Faiq confused by the response Sasa gave.
“I'm lying if I say, I'm not angry. Which woman is not angry when she is left without saying goodbye? What you do it can really invite regret”
“Ten-about it, I'm sorry”
“Nothing, all has passed, and everything is fine now”
“I really had no other choice that time. I thought, that the action I took that time, was the best of all the choices I was given. I have absolutely no intention of leaving without such a saying. I'm sorry”
“You are not alone and never give word. You don't think about my feelings. You are too selfish if you only conclude things according to your estimates. The choice you think is right, without saying the same to me?”
“Bu-not like that. Not that I didn't want to tell you, I had my own reasons back then. I did something, but it looks like I failed”
Sasa just smiled a little. He himself was confused as to whether he could believe what Faiq said.
What is the point of believing and what is the point of not believing. Nothing will change the reality that exists now.
“I'm sorry. I always remember you, I always miss you, until it feels like dying with my own feelings”
Sasa laughed a little. It would not be wrong if Sasa thought that what Faiq said was part of the bullshit that is often said in some men in general. What Faiq said, did sound very exaggerated, but it was true that it was a fact that happened to him a few years ago.
Looking at Sasa's expression, Faiq could guess what was on the woman's mind with round eyes sitting in front of her at the moment. Everyone would think the same as Faiq, thinking that Sasa could not believe what he said. And the truth is like that.
“I'm not lying.” Bela Faiq for himself, so that Sasa's thoughts about him can change.
“So? What happened that time?”
Sasa who previously seemed to not care about what happened to Faiq these past few years, did not care, finally ask and ask for an explanation of the choice of Faiq who left him for no reason so as to make them in this state now.
“That time...”
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A few years ago.
The scorching sun made some two-wheelers who were stopped in the middle of the road because the traffic lights showed a red color, grumbling the heat. Traffic lights that have a stop time are always the same, feel longer when the heat of the sun hits the edges of the surface of the skin, which feels translucent to a deeper layer of skin.
Faiq, one of the two-wheelers also grumbled at the heat that was hitting the surface of his skin while glancing at the watch that was coiled around his wrist.
“Ck, why forget to bring a jacket anyway.” His grunts while denouncing his memory so shallow.
The short-sleeved t-shirt he used really could not save him from the scorching sun. The scorching sun was completely free to play on the surface of his skin.
Today, the man who had the gibberish came home earlier than usual. He has an appointment with his girlfriend who is a student majoring in nursing. Yes, to celebrate the receipt of the simple home design that he made these past few days. He wanted to share his happiness with his beloved, as well as surprise her with the good news she brought.
The black duck motor he bought some time ago because of urgency, drove a little sluggish due to the crowded road with other drivers. He is not reliable enough to ride two wheels with agile slipping among other riders, considering he usually travels by car. But because of something, so that he had to use two wheels to run his activities outside the house.
Entering the complex yard that is not crowded with road users anymore, Faiq made the speed of the motor increase in order to get home early. But not only did he park his bike, his vision had found something unpleasant.
“Do you guys want to come here?”
