Dear, Soul!!

What was?

There was a feeling of happiness and there was a feeling of relief after I found out the truth. The barrier wall that I had been building to protect myself from feeling alone against Fauzi collapsed. He's Fauzi, the man I love so much now doesn't belong to anyone else.

The day after we ate with us became even more familiar, it was just that our familiarity now was no longer what it used to be, there was still a sense of awkwardness. Sometimes I get more selfish hoping that Fauzi can come back like the old Fauzi even though I realize that it is impossible because the wounds I have given Fauzi will not just disappear. As good and powerful as Fauzi was in his feelings, the fact that I had hurt him would not just disappear from his memory.

Although we were getting along, but Fauzi did not contact me as often as I expected, I would check my phone often hoping for an incoming call or at least a short message I got from Fauzi, but as often as I check it, still my phone remains quiet notif from Fauzi. Well maybe I was the one who was expecting more from Fauzi, maybe I misinterpreted Fauzi's attention for a moment at Farhan and Nina's wedding.

I went back to trying to wake myself up. Fauzi doesn't have a female companion yet doesn't mean Fauzi will choose me, maybe even now he is close to another woman. It's possible that lately the kindness that Fauzi gave just to establish friendship as a friend, nothing more.

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Today I got a day off because I had time to change shifts with other coworkers. Since my relationship began to improve with Fauzi, I no longer need to work excessively to make work as a distraction from Fauzi. Now I work as I should, as Mom says, taking care of my health is very important.

From morning I just lay around, playing my phone and watching some of my idol comeback stage videos. Ah I don't know, at this age of me who is no longer young I still have the status of a fangirl, maybe because some song lyrics from my idol really help me in living my daily life.

I glanced at the wall clock on the wall of my room, the time was nine in the morning and I had never left my bed except for the bathroom. Let's just say I should enjoy my day off well.

"You've shown me I have reasons I should love myself oohhhh...🎶🎶🎵🎵" I am engrossed in mumbling myself singing along to music following the lyrics of my idol song, the lyrics of a song that teaches where the fact that there is loving yourself is more difficult than loving others, where we have to forgive ourselves like that and start learning to love ourselves, don't we need to get permission from others to love ourselves? loving yourself is free and it will help you become a more confident person. well the point is do not compare yourself with others because everyone has a beauty in himself that others can not have it also has his own bad side that he hides.

I was always singing, although sometimes the lyrics became wrong when I found the lyrics in Korean finally interrupted because of the incoming call that made my song had to stop and turn into my ringtone. I who was lying down relaxed quickly moved after seeing the incoming call from Fauzi.

"Ha haloo.." Yeah I can't deny that once in a while my heart still dag dig dug when lifting Fauzi's phone.

"Sa Salwa's.. Sorry if I'm bothering you.." Fauzi said sounding breathless.

"Why you?" I began to worry about hearing her unusual voice.

"Hufft, it's okay.. Salwa, is there a Pharmacy that you know that provides home care services or at least that can deliver drugs at home? A I've contacted the online delivery but he doesn't understand being told to buy medicine if he just tells me to call my complaint.."

"Sister why? Sick brother??"

"My head is so dizzy, my legs are cold and my body temperature is so hot, I'm not strong enough to go out to the hospital"

"Mother where?"

"Let's go out to the family home, I can't call Mom now because she'll be worried and can make people there worry too.."

"So my sister's home?"

"Yes, I called Annisa but my phone wasn't answered.." Fauzi increasingly sounded unable to regulate his breathing. "A or, Salwa what can I do now for the first treatment so that my feelings can improve a little??"

"Sister's feet that start cold it indicates the body temperature will increase, brother can compress using warm water, not necessarily on the forehead better if around the neck or armpits, brother can compress using warm water, do not have to be on the forehead better if around the neck or armpits, wrap your brother's feet cold and don't make thick clothes.."

"Ah yes thank you Salwa.."

"If you are a little late immediately to the nearest clinic or hospital.."

"Yes Salwa.. Thank you, I used to call her.." Fauzi's voice was getting weaker.

I haven't been able to answer Fauzi's phone has been disconnected.

It was about an hour ago after Fauzi called me, I was getting worried so I decided to call her back.

Many times I called Fauzi but there was no answer, again and I kept trying to reach him but still there was no answer from Fauzi. I'm getting worried. "Is he okay?" Mumbles. I kept sending him messages but there was no reply. I couldn't take it anymore, I took my sweeater and my bag and rushed towards Fauzi's house. He couldn't possibly not answer my dozens of calls if he was okay.

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Many times I pressed the bell of his house but not the answer from within. I remember there was a clinic next to Fauzi's house first, maybe Fauzi was already there. But looking at the front windshield of a very dusty clinic signifies that the clinic is no longer active, then where is Fauzi now??

"Fauzi... You're in???" Call me with a little scream.

I pressed the doorbell again and tried to call her again, but there was no answer

"Where is your fauzi??" Mumamku's worried.

I knocked on his door but still there was no answer. I don't know who to call, Annisa didn't answer her phone, and I couldn't possibly call Farhan and Annisa because they're on a honeymoon right now and out of town. I haven't had Fauzi's parents number since I changed my phone.

I pressed the bell again and knocked on Fauzi's door, but again there was no answer I got. I tried to turn the door hinge and...

"Ah not locked..." Excruciate.

I stepped in, I knew it was rude to go into someone's house without permission, but now it's in a state of emergency. Ah Fauzi, Mom and Dad, I'm sorry that I entered your house without permission.

"Fauzi.. You inside??" Call me.

I kept walking in and....

"Jeez Fauzi you got what??????"

I ran to him.

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Hay hay thanks still to read the story of Salwa 😊

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Uwwuuu to him. 2 days not open, just open the rating is already 4 stars..

Thank you guys 🤗🤗💜💜💜