Dear, Soul!!
Distrusting
An accidental encounter between him and Karin, like a fate arranged for him so that he can find out what he should have known from the beginning, when deciding to re-establish a relationship with his former lover, who turned out to have said Ijab kabul to other women before.
Like a boomerang dropped right in his heart, to make Sasa feel tight for a moment knowing the facts that Karin told him. He never thought that the man he loved so much in recent years had been the husband of others.
Sasa tried to handle his feelings as much as he could. It felt like he rejected the truth Karin said, but the facts had required him to wake up, that the man who was by her side right now was the ex-husband of a beautiful woman like Karin.
Deep in his little heart, hoping Karin was just making up for the moment, or mistaking people. Even though it was something that was clearly impossible.
“Yes, Faiq is my ex-husband and it makes me feel uncomfortable working on the same project as him” Karin complained.
Karin's complaint gave Sasa his own pain. His feelings seemed to be wanting to dissipate the pain he was feeling at this moment.
Although he was still very surprised, but Sasa tried to look okay and was adjusting his voice so as not to vibrate, also his expression to look ordinary.
“He's your ex-husband. Why are you divorced??”
Karin turned her head to look at Sasa, and Sasa quickly revealed his sweet smile, lest Karin catch anything strange from her expression.
“A-I don't mean for you to recall that bitter thing. Ah, forgive me for asking about your personal problems” Sasa again pulled his question, he himself involuntarily asked like that due to the disbelief and surprise that he suddenly got.
“What's wrong, don't look so shy. We've also been divorced for a long time, so there's no more pain that I feel when you ask such a thing.”
“While I feel bad, I am like an impolite person asking your personal problems” Sasa said smilingly and averted his gaze. “We parted because it doesn't match, that's it”
Looking at Karin who was smiling, Sasa just came smiling.
There was still so much that Sasa wanted to ask, about why they were married and what Faiq was like when he became a husband. Also how could the marriage take place, while Faiq always said that he never replaced himself with others as long as they were not together.
Did Faiq lie to me? Is it only now that he feels love for me, because we have met again?
“Hopefully you can meet a good man” Sasa said still trying to show a smile of his hospitality.
“Content Sa, I also hope like this. For sek.”
Uncompleted Karin finished her words, her cell phone that she had put in her bag, ringing.
Karin apologized, and asked permission to pick up her phone for a while, Sasa just nodded giving her permission. A Karin manners show, where she even asks the interlocutor for permission to pick up the phone.
This makes Sasa increasingly wonder about the things that make them decide to divorce. How could Faiq leave a woman as beautiful as Karin? Karin is so friendly, friendable, beautiful, hardworking and has a good ethic. Karin can be categorized as a woman who is almost perfect in the eyes of Sasa.
After picking up her phone, Karin returned and resigned to Sasa.
“Sa, sorry. Looks like I have to end our meeting today, I've got a phone call from a friend I want to look at, when I finish meeting my friend later, maybe you've worked”
“Why apologize, your original goal was to visit your friend.”
“Then, excuse me. Anytime, let's meet for another chat.”
Sasa simply nodded in agreement to Karin's request.
Karin passed away leaving Sasa whose heart and mind were raging indistinctly after presenting facts that he had never expected.
.
.
.
.
Sasa returned home without being escorted by Faiq. He himself avoids meeting with Faiq after finding out that the man he loves was once someone else's husband. He would not be able to act ordinary in front of Faiq every word Karin ringed in his ears.
Obviously Faiq still forced to drive him home, but Sasa who lied by saying that he continued at night until morning, made Faiq undo his intention to pick up Sasa.
Sasa chose to go home with Azka, it was much better now than coming home with Faiq.
“Sa, are you okay?” Azka's question confirmed Sasa's gloomy-looking condition.
Sasa just turned around, looking at the man beside him who was driving while showing his smile, followed by a nod.
“You sure?” Ask Azka again. Azka was convinced, that the answer Sasa had given just now, was not the real answer.
Sasa no longer replied, his tears began to drip. What Karin said today, kept ringing in her ears that gave her fantastic pain.
Azka no longer asked, she just focused on driving and gave Sasa time to calm her feelings.
About 15 minutes passed, Faiq parked his car.
“This is where?” Ask Sasa who realized that the place was not his home page.
“Come out” Invite Azka without answering Sasa's question.
Sasa swept around with his gaze. The place where his feet stand today is a place far from the crowd, but the view can still catch the sparkling lights of the city. The sea waves are still stormy even though the night is getting late, as if greeting someone who visits to see it in a fairly late night.
“Why are we here?”
“Let you can vent your feelings without fear or embarrassment seen by others”
Sasa turned to look at Azka with the lighting that was only obtained from the highlight of the car lights.
“I don't know what your problem is right now, I don't know what's happening to you, but you shouldn't be harboring it yourself, it'll hurt your feelings even more. Wake off, shout as much as you can, after all no one will hear it here”
“But there's you”
“I?? Ah, just think of me as a rock. So get all your feelings out”
Sasa smiled. Azka understood her condition and knew what she had to do.
Without warning, Sasa ran towards the beach and shouted as much as he could on the beach. He let out all the pain he felt, venting all his feelings until his throat ached with his voice starting to hoarse.
Azka smiled and slowly walked over to Sasa with a bottle of water in her grasp.
“Kuat also shouted.” Azka said while thrusting a bottle of water at Sasa.
“Still..” Sasa reached for the bottle containing the mineral water. His throat felt dry after screaming out everything, as tight as he could.
“You are fit to be a ball supporter. Your voice is pretty good can give an injection of spirit in the players”
Candaan Azka managed to make Sasa laugh a little.
“Azka, thanks ya”’
“What?”
“Because you already brought me here and made me able to vent everything”
“So how do you feel?” Azka asked while sitting on the sand on the beach.
“It's been better” replied Sasa smiling and following sitting next to Azka.
“Thankful.”.
“If there is no you. Maybe all night I'll just cry in my room.”
Azka was silent for a moment, then turned to look at Azka.
“About what you feel and what makes you like this, can you tell me?”
Sasa was silent for a moment while looking down, until slowly raised his face again, staring at the waves that were still busy chasing.
“You must know people again the same as me right now?”
I'm not happy he told me about that guy, but if it calms him down, then I'll let my ears consume things related to that guy, just for tonight, and just because of you.
“Iya, why is she the same?”
“She's married, Ka”
“A-what?? Already married?? Not that you have turned it back. She was your ex-boyfriend you told me about back then right?”
Sasa just nodded affirming Azka's question.
“Keep, how's the story you can be with him now, if he's married?”
“She's divorced.”
Azka's smooth forehead was wrinkled, clearly confused by what Sasa was talking about.
Slowly Sasa started telling me about the facts he had just encountered today. The further Sasa talked about the unmarried Faiq, the more his tears became. Seeing Sasa who was crying sobbing while telling what he just knew about the man he loved, made Azka a little upset. Yes, being upset when you see a loved one crying because of someone else is natural. Who is the person who does not feel pain if his loved ones cry because of others.
“So what do you want now? Still the same with him?”
“I don't know, I'm confused now” Sasa complained still with his tears dripping.
Azka pulls Sasa into her arms, trying to calm the woman she loves.
“Just calm your mind now, that problem later you just think”
Sasa's crying became more and more so, without realizing that he was in Azka's arms at this time.
