Dear, Soul!!

Baikans

At what time of the night Sasa returns to his house escorted by Faiq. His feelings get better after venting all his feelings, and sharing the story with Azka.

But behind the relief he felt, another feeling had stopped in his heart which made him nervous and had misbehaved.

Sasa was unconscious as Azka pulled him into Azka's arms, even as she cried roaring in Azka's arms with Azka trying to calm her down, Sasa was completely unaware of that. Azka's warm hand that hugged her deep, Azka's heartbeat that she heard slowly, made her calm and forget about how she was at that moment. For a moment, he completely dissolved in his feelings with the calm Azka gave him.

Until the moment Sasa regained consciousness, then he moved from Azka's embrace and threw his face to distract Azka from her face with a nervous expression that he could not hide.

But Azka who can restore the atmosphere as before, making Sasa nervousness does not last long. They returned home with small talk accompanying them on the way. Even so, still Sasa felt embarrassed every time he remembered the incident where he stayed long enough in Azka's arms, his face still blushed if he remembered that.

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.

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Time shows eight o'clock less than nine minutes. Sasa was still trapped in the gravity of the mattress, the feeling of pain that he got yesterday was still happy to cover him even though last night he had managed to treat it in half. Because of the feeling that is not ripe at this time, making Sasa still feel at home lying on his bed longer.

Sasa grabbed his phone, several missed incoming calls from Faiq, and a short message asking if he had gone home or was still in the hospital. Yes, last night he lied to Faiq, in order to avoid meeting so that his feelings do not explode.

In addition to messages from Faiq, several messages also came from Azka asking about her condition and feelings. The incoming message from Azka, again made Sasa remember what had happened last night as he immersed himself in Azka's arms.

Aishh....

Sasa grabbed the pillow, and closed his face tightly, if the pillow could cover and normalize the color of his face that had been flushed like boiled shrimp due to remembering the incident with Azka last night.

Ttok..

The knock on the door made Sasa switch his attention. He who previously still kept shadowing Azka, collapsed instantly when he heard the door was knocked by someone.

Sasa moved and accelerated his pace when the door leaf was knocked back. It seemed like the outsider who knocked on his door, did not have good patience.

Faiq's face with his sweet smile greeted Sasa, as Sasa opened the door. A plastic bag perched in his hand containing several types of food.

Sasa simply smiled wryly, returning the smile Faiq gave him this morning. The pain, which had not fully healed, again rained down on him when his black eyeball caught Faiq's figure this morning.

“It is a good thing that I did not go to Hospital” said Faiq stepped in after Sasa invited. “I was almost there, I thought you were still in the hospital. But after I thought about it, it's good to check you at home first, and it turns out you really have come home” explained Faiq at length, with a smile that did not escape his lips.

Sasa just fell silent, his memory re-touching about what Karin told him yesterday afternoon.

“Why you?” Faiq asked, looking at Sasa who looked different today. Sasa who usually responds enthusiastically, today is more silent than usual.

Sasa simply shook his head, revealing a hint of his smile.

“I moved this first.” Sasa said, grabbing the food that Faiq brought and bringing it to the kitchen.

Faiq felt puzzled, this was really not like the Sasa he was familiar with normally.

Sasa's tears trickled down, it was too painful to know the fact, that the man who was waiting for him outside, was once someone else's husband.

Sasa wiped away his tears, before finally returning to sit with Faiq outside.

“You came here early in the morning, didn't you work today?”

“Work, but not too busy so I can meet you first. I miss you” said Faiq smiling.

Sasa only gave a small smile back, although his face still showed how shabby he was at the moment.

“How do you work?” Tanya Sasa opened the chat.

“Yes as usual, start a project, design a project, and start a new project”

“Previous projects start with Fauzi how?”

Faiq's forehead was wrinkled, previously Sasa had never asked in more detail like it was the matter of his work.

“Alright, now while on run”

“Oh so..” Sasa replied showing his small smile.

Faiq was still confused to see Sasa who did not look like he usually did, but he was also reluctant to ask, fearing that it would further damage Sasa's mood.

“Faiq.”

“Hem??”

“As long as we're not the same, what are you doing?”

“You mean?” Asked Faiq who did not understand the meaning of Sasa's question, Faiq was also confused by Sasa who suddenly asked in a serious tone.

“The last few years when we separated, what did you do?”

“I? Didn't I ever tell you?”

“Only that?”

“Iya. I go to college, work, keep learning again and until now back to work as you see”

Sasa bowed, an indescribable smile on his lips.

You lie, you don't intend to be honest and tell everything, Faiq.

“Why suddenly tanya this?”

Sasa again raised his face, looking at Faiq who had put on a confused expression.

“You don't want to be honest with me?”

“Honest? Honest about what?”

“Yes, whatever it is that you hide”

Faiq was silent for a moment. Although he had thought about Sasa who might know about him who had been married, but he concluded the thought considering that it was impossible for Sasa to know. Faiq thought, where could Sasa know that, and Fauzi did not know. Yeah, Sasa couldn't possibly know about the matter.

“I'm not hiding anything”

Sasa was silent for a moment. What Faiq really doesn't want to tell you about his marriage.

“Darling, why did you suddenly ask that??”

“Nothing, I just thought. I guess, because we're the same again now you're going to tell me everything the same, apparently not.”

Faiq looked at Sasa increasingly confusedly.

Deggs....

Faiq gasped, how could Sasa know about this? And how did he know?.

Faiq was silent for a moment and confused as to what to say.

“Is that something I can't know?” Ask Sasa again.

“Bu-not so dear.. I-I don't want to tell you about that.. Ak..”

“You deliberately hid this from me??” Sasa asked with his tears slowly starting to drip.

“Sa.. Not so..”

“You said, you never let me in your heart, only me and I kept what you thought, but this is what Faiq????” Sasa's consecutive questions launch with explosive emotions.

“I was once married, but about my feelings, I'm serious that I never held you in my heart. I only love you until today”

“Bohonggg..”

“Saa..”

“You've lied to me, if I don't know this from someone else, do you have any intention of wanting this story to be the same as me?? Aren't you??”

“Sa, this is my mass and I thought..”

“You think I don't need to know???”

Faiq was speechless when what he was about to say, had already been said first by Sasa.

“This is a big thing, and you're not saying this is the same to me?? You evil”

“Sa, it's not that I intentionally don't want to say this. I don't think this is something I should say to you, because it's just a wedding without any flavor”

“How can you marry someone if you don't feel the same way??”

“Sa, I could have sworn that I never loved anyone but you. I got married back then, just because my dad wanted to be like that. I never touched the woman at all, I never let her touch and take care of me, because I just want you to have the rights to me”

Sasa only looked at Faiq with his increasingly swift tears.

Faiq got up from his seat, approached Sasa and slowly grasped the hand of the woman who had been flooded with tears.

“Sa, I'm sorry I didn't tell you this was the same. I just don't want you to go away and not want to be with me, if you know I'm married. I got married just because my dad wanted to be like that, as long as we were married I never touched him at all. I just love you Sa”

The sincere look from Faiq's eyes, slowly made Sasa's tears rush, slightly receding.

“Our wedding was only five months, and she asked for a divorce when I told her that I loved another woman, and that was you”

“But still, you lied to me.”

“I'm sorry, baby.. I'm sorry I lied. I'm just afraid, you're avoiding me and don't want to be the same if I know I'm married, while I still love you very much. The marriage meant nothing to me, and I ended it all for you”

Faiq looked into Sasa's eyes, showing how sincerely he loved the woman in front of him and showing how sorry he was for not telling the truth.

“Sa, I just love you, please trust me. I'm the same woman with no feelings at all, we're just married. I love you Sa, just you, just you and you keep going.”.

Sasa did not respond, only his eyes were not sidetracked from Faiq, though wet from tears that did not stop flowing.

“If you don't believe me, I can invite that woman to meet and tell me everything”

“U-for what??” Sasa asked in a snigger.

“Let you believe, if I am the same she has no feelings at all, let you know the cause of our divorce was because I love you.”

“You left him because you love me. So later, when you love someone else, you will leave me as well as he”

“Might not be dear. All these years I've only loved you, so how can I love each other if I just love you. Especially at this time, you already have the same me now.”

Faiq wiped Sasa's tears, gently stroking the cheeks that had been soaked by those tears.

“I'm sorry, please forgive me.. I can't if there's no you, I can die if you leave me Sa, I love you.”

Sasa only fell silent, but did not reject Faiq's hand that wiped his tears.

“You want to apologize to me? I really love you Sa, you are the only one and there will be no other”

“You, there is nothing else do you save from me?” Ask Sasa with his hoarse voice.

“No darling, no more.. I told you everything is the same. If you don't believe me, I can take you to Germany and ask you directly my friends there, how was I when I was in college. I can also take you to my father's office and ask everyone there, how I always act cold with women because I love you. Or if need be, I can get my ex-wife to meet you, and ask him to tell you everything that happened”

Sasa shook his head, and wiped away the rest of his tears.

“Why? Let you believe.”

Sasa shook his head again.

“Darling, I will do anything so you can trust me, so please believe me.”

Slowly Sasa nodded.

“I believe in you, but there is nothing more you hide from me from now on.”

Hearing Sasa's words, Faiq hugged Sasa.

“Please.. Thanks though.. Thanks for believing in me. I promise, I won't hide anything else with you, I'll tell you all about whatever it is about me. I'm not going to repeat this again.. I love you Sa, I love you”

“I also love you”

Faiq took off his embrace, and wiped all of Sasa's tears.

“I won't make you cry again like now, I promise.”

Sasa smiled, although the tears were still not all dry.

Although the pain had roared him to make him feel tight, but Sasa finally chose to forget that, and forgive Faiq. How Faiq looked at him sincerely, and was ready to bring his ex-wife just to explain to him, making Sasa feel enough for Faiq to prove his sincerity.

Sasa himself with his love for Faiq, would not be able to make his feelings better if he let go of the current Faiq. He will be hurt if he chooses to separate. Faiq has apologized and promised not to repeat anything like this again. Sasa believes that what happened to Faiq's marriage was a mistake. If Faiq lied to the matter, he couldn't possibly dare offer to bring his ex-wife in front of Sasa.

Sasa just hope, in the future they open up to each other and no longer there are things like this happening.