Dear, Soul!!

U make me cry.

"I've thought about it a few times and I've decided to end our relationship"

My eyes glazed over, slowly my tears dripped. I feel like a time bomb in the morning.

"What's wrong? Why suddenly? Why are you joking around like this?"

About a week ago was the last time I met Farhan, the day Nina saw him along with another woman who Nina claimed was her boyfriend. I had thought about it at the time, but in the end it just passed without meaning, because the most important thing for me now is to be able to get back with Fauzi and live our relationship well. But somehow and what was it today until Fauzi sent me such a message, a message that made me hold my breath for a moment reading it.

I called him right away, I wanted to make sure and ask him about this message he sent. From the bottom of my heart, I wish Fauzi was just joking. Yes I would be angry if I knew Fauzi was just joking, but it was better than having to make this a reality.

My call could not be connected, Fauzi again blocked my call. I should how? I need Fauzi's explanation of the message he sent.

"Why is my number on the block again?" I sent him a short message hoping the message would still come.

My message was sent, tick the two that indicate the message was sent. Thankfully, at least he didn't block my message. The two check marks had already turned blue, he had already read them.

"Sorry, I just don't want to argue with you anymore." Fauzi replied a moment later

"What do you mean send a message like that?"

I can only communicate with Fauzi using text messages only.

"I can't maintain our relationship anymore, I've reached my limit"

"What the hell are you talking about? To what extent? Why is it suddenly like this? You're giving me another shot, right?" Tanyaku. I have hundreds of questions that need answers right now.

"I really want to break up Salwa, I can't stand my feelings anymore"

"Can't stand what? What have I done until you can't take it anymore? We're fine now why are we suddenly like this again?" I've been like a woman who wastes my pride by asking questions like this.

"I always give you a chance, and you always don't use it.."

"What opportunity? I don't understand what you mean" I'm really confused and don't understand what Fauzi means.

"Is it that hard to be honest with me Salwa? Why do you have to hide if you met Farhan a week ago?"

In he knows? How did he know about that? And why is he talking about it now?

"That's.. I just don't want you to misunderstand me anymore, Ozi.."

"You didn't answer my phone that day, you purposely hid it.."

"I don't mean to hide it, I intend to tell everything to you, I just find the right time to make a story"

"Don't I tell you to tell me everything? That day I always asked you, is there anything you want to say to me? I always ask you questions hoping you'll be honest with me.."

"I really didn't mean to hide everything from you, Ozi.."

"I waited for a week Salwa, I always hoped you'd be honest with me, I wish you'd tell me everything the same"

"I'm sorry Ozi, I really don't mean to hide this all the same to you.."

"Yes, I'm also sorry for not being able to survive our relationship anymore. Sorry for having to end it.."

"Are you serious? Are you seriously going to kill me?" I asked to confirm Fauzi's decision.

"Yes, sorry.."

"You're evil Ozi, you say you've designed a future with me, but why is it like this now.."

"I'm also disappointed that in the end my future didn't match what I had planned. it's just that I think it's better than staying with you that seems like you're not willing to be honest with me anymore.."

"Ozi, I didn't mean it that way.."

"I'm sorry, Salwa, if you were created from my ribs, I'd end up looking for you.."

"Well, you talked about that? You think after we end here we can still have a better relationship going forward"

"In the future we will be good or not, it will not make my decision change at this time.."

"Ozi, why is this so long like me now? Why is this Ozi?"

"Sorry Salwa, I've been thinking about it for a long time and I think it's the best decision.."

"You said you want to wake up early to see me, he wants every moment to be able to squirm me, he wants me to continue. But why is it like this now. You intentionally make me happy.."

"I've tried to be the best for you so that all of that can be realized. But I'm really sorry Salwa for giving up like now. In the future I hope you have a better life and can be happier. I'm sure our destiny is set like this"

"Don't talk Fauzi nonsense, it's not our destiny that is set like this but you who have arranged it like this.." My emotions began to overflow.

"Sorry..."

"I don't want your pardon Ozi, I want you.." My tears started to drip. I know it's my fault but I really don't accept Fauzi's sudden decision like this.

The last message I sent is still tick one, why else is this?

"Ozi.. What else is this?"

My message still ticks one. Is Fauzi blocking my message too now? Does Fauzi want to break my relationship with me? I can only cry.

.

.

.

I don't know how long I've been fidgeting, my eyes are starting to swell. I told Mother and Mother everything to try to calm me down, there was not a single sentence from Mother who defended my situation or defended the situation of Fauzi. Mom didn't want to take sides in any of us and obviously I think that this kind of thing has a high chance of happening considering what's been going on all along.

"Mom, I'll be there. I'll catch up with Fauzi there, maybe Ozi will change her mind.."

"Well, it's a long way away, you can get hurt even more when you hear this straight from Fauzi"

"But ma'am, my feelings won't calm down like this"

"Darling, you have to try to accept the reality. You can't give it back like you used to. I won't blame you much less blame Fauzi, Fauzi's departure is natural. You'll be mature enough later after going through this.."

"But Ma'am.."

Mom grabbed me and hugged me.

"I'm sorry, dear Mother, I can't do anything to calm you down right now either.."

Long enough I whined at Mom, asking Mom to let me catch up with Fauzi like I did before, and I finally allowed it.