Forever Love

Decisionmaking

Without feeling the time has passed a year and now the baby Arqasa just finished celebrating the first birthday. The guests have returned to their homes and in the residence of Zafran Sanjaya now live Qania, his parents, Setya, Rizal and Gea and Fero without Cika.

“Happy birthday bangs aunty Gea handsome” said Gea once again before returning home while kissing Arqasa cheek who was in Rizal's sling.

“Aunty's chat. So fast marriage bial I have the friend” said Qania mimicking the language of toddlers.

“Sabar ya Arqasa, uncle again cuddle money for marriage. In shaa Allah next year deh” said Rizal who continued to kiss the cheeks of Arqasa puffer alternating with Gea.

“Ah look you two like this I want to have a baby. I want to find Cika first, on the way for baby I” chirps Fero who was immediately rewarded with pinch by Qania.

“Nikahin used” Qania toilet.

Gea and Rizal laughed at Fero who was complaining of pain and got a lecture at length times the height of Qania because of his speech earlier.

“Honey, you see Qania. Since Arkana did not exist, she became more and more mature and her soul was very motherly. We often get reprimands and advice from him, sometimes I feel like his son” said Gea while watching Qania who was scolding Fero.

“You're right baby, it turns out all the problems he experienced made him more mature and become a wise person” said Rizal confirmed.

“Do you think Qania will never marry again? He's still very young, baby. Twenty-one years old he” asked Gea.

“I don't know, baby. Maybe he'll marry again but in a long time maybe. I tshu behind his cheerful attitude and behind his anger stored the pain and longing that he always hid from all of us” said Rizal.

Gea just bothered to justify Rizal's speech just now.  During this time Qania never complained about his feelings of sadness or longing for Arkana. He rarely talks about Arkana with his friends. That's what makes Gea salute him who is able to survive in the middle of a storm that will somehow pass.

“Ma.mamii.mii”,.

“Woah baby Arqasa is already smart to say” pekik Gea jubilation.

“Dadd.dy..”,.

Gea and Rizal looked at each other when the baby Arqasa said the word daddy. Gea's tears suddenly trickled but she quickly wiped them off and immediately kissed the baby Arqasa's puffed cheeks.

 “Qania must always introduce the figure of Arka to their children so baby Arqasa calls daddy” Gea murmured.

Shortly after Qania came with a bent face after being satisfied to scold Fero just because his speech was only a joke but Qania was so serious to respond to it.

Rizal gave baby Arqasa to Qania and the three of them said goodbye because the day was approaching magrib.

*

*

In the living room now all the members of the Zafran family with Setya were talking after they had dinner.  With the exception of Syaquile who is now in college and majored in Informatics Engineering in the city of M. Arqasa baby who is very active is currently asleep in the lap of Qania.

“Qania, now papa's heir is only you and Arqasa. Hotels, cafes and offices papa will fall into the hands of Arqasa but of course you first will manage it with papa waiting for my grandson mature” said Setya suddenly diverted their jokes.

“Iya pa, Qania will help papa. Lagian Arqasa can already be left because it is not exclusive ASI also” sahut Qania.

“But your title is not in accordance with your work later Qania” said Setya.

“I mean papa?” qania asked confused.

“I mean papa, would you like to go to college again and major in law and economics?” setya asked her meaning.

“Lecture again pa?” beanie Qania.

“Hei Setya my son is a scholar and he should take S two instead of repeat S one” Zafran chirps make Alisha elbow him.

“Gue knows, but his majors used to not match the work I would love to him Zaf” said Setya.

“Papa Setya right also” murmured Qania.

“So you want to go to college again Qania?” setya asked expectantly.

“Mau pa, but if you go to college later the lecturers on campus already know Qania already undergraduate. What do lecturers from the faculty of Engineering later pa?” said Qania weighing.

“Yes papa didn't say that you were in college again at your old campus. You can study outside the city” said Setya made Qania wide.

“Oh if this one Qania does not agree pa, Arqasa the same who if Qania go?” reject Qania.

“There's your papa, there's papa with your mama who will take care of Arqasa. You do not have to worry” said Setya but Qania has not responded.

“Papa ngelakuin this is not just because papa wants you to go to college and become the successor of papa. Papa did this because papa knows you must still not be able to get out of your circle of sadness right? Papa knows you've always been secretly crying over Arkana, right? Papa's words are right, Qania?” setya stressed every question.

Qania was stunned, everything her in-laws said was true. Alisha and Zafran, Qania's biological parents, are unaware of their child's grief if it is so. So far all they have seen is Qania who keeps laughing with her son and them. Their views were now fixed on Qania who was still silent.

“Truely so nak?” alisha asked withstanding the rumble inside her chest.

Qania looked down and her tears dripped, making Alisha sigh with regret all this time not knowing the state of her son's heart as well as Zafran.

Alisha shifted slightly from her seat and immediately hugged Qania, giving her many kisses.

“Maaf” great-grandson Qania.

Alisha shakes her head, “mama who is sorry son, mama does not know your sadness”.

“Qania just don't want you to think about my sadness alone, let's focus on thinking about the future. And about Qania who is still thinking about Arkana it will never stop ma, sorry Qania will always think about it” said Qania asserted.

“Papa does not forbid you to think about it son, that's your right and he is also your husband” said Zafran made Qania glance at his papa while smiling thinly.

“Now what is your decision Qania?” ask Setya.

“Qania agrees Pa. but Qania majored in what later?” confused Qania.

“Hukum”,.

“Economi”,.

Setya and Zafran said.

“Eh which is it, do not make my child dizzy ya” protest Alisha.

“The two actually have to be sih” said Zafran while nodding his head.

“Then Qania must study in two majors and two campuses at once so Pa?” qania asked with a face full of rejection.

Setya and Zafran looked at each other then grinned.

“Oh no. You guys don't go crazy. This is the same as you add to the load Qania” reject Alisha.

“Hmm, just gini. Qania will major in Law because the major must be taken with education in college. If the problem of studying in the Department of Economics seems not to have to. Look forward to Qania will be studying in a big city in our country, there must be many seminars on business. Later Qania will join the seminar when Qania there is an opportunity and also if there is a course Qania will enter during the semester break or when the lecture schedule is not crowded. Or Qania training and many other alternatives, how?” papar Qania then stared one by one at her parents.

“Serd” says all three together.

Qania smiled shyly to get praise from her parents.

“Da..dadd.dy.”,.

All eyes were on the baby Arqasa who suddenly woke up.

“Daddy? Why do you always hear Arqasa call daddy?” tanya Alisha looked at Qania questioningly.

“Sorry ma, it's because Qania always tells her about Arkana even though she doesn't understand. Arqasa also every sleep I always listen to Arkana voice recording, I show his picture and I say this daddymu” story Qania with enthusiasm even though in his heart he is very inflamed.

“Oh fast, your son is very smart just like his mom” Alisha praised.

“Who used to dong his grandfather” said Zafran and Setya compact.

“Makin compact ya”, said Alisha.

“Oh clear” sahut both at the same time again make Alisha grunt.

“Ya already ma, pa, Qania want to sleep Arqasa first in the room, he will sleep if it's with a song from his daddy. Good night everyone, good night grandma and grandpa. Arqasa macuk duyu yes, Assalamu’alaikum” said Qania saying goodbye.

“Good sleep also granddaughter, ummaahh” Alisha kissed both cheeks padlocked Arqasa.

“Good sleep handsome grandfather's grandson” said Setya alternately with Zafran kissed Arqasa's cheeks.

After saying good-bye, Qania took Arqasa to her room on the second floor, and Setya said goodbye.

 

*

*

 

Qania POV

 

It's hard to get through tonight, the night I last slept with Arqasa my only son. Tomorrow I will leave for the city of Y to do a college entrance test and won't be home in half a year even more. A month ago Papa Setya enrolled me in one of the top universities in the country and I couldn't resist after I agreed that night.

I kept looking at my son who was sleeping in his sleep.

Arghh feels so claustrophobic about going through my night without him tomorrow.

How's him? Can he sleep without me?

I'm not used to being away from my son and I haven't even been. I'm afraid he'll get sick from missing me and so will I.

Missing is too torturous. Hahh what have I done?

Is this really my decision?

Not yet finished I bear the longing for Arkana and from tomorrow my longing will be added to my son.

Why am I confused myself?

I had tears that kept falling down my cheeks, never ending my kiss landed on every inch of my son's handsome face. I missed him before we split up.

But back to this for the future of my son and myself.

Ah well I'll miss it for four years or I'll finish it three and a half years like I used to finish my studies at the Engineering faculty. After all, the Law is not as difficult as the formulas of derived Physics and Mechanical Engineering that make me dizzy and not sleep just to lower the formula.

Yes, I can definitely finish this lecture quickly and with satisfactory results. No big task will keep me from coming home for a week. And certainly will not be the tone of the formulas times make skinny aka Calculus.

After all I can learn from the books of papa and papa Setya, they are graduates of the Law faculty. At least they've learned a little about me this month. It will not be as hard to bear the longing.

I will also busy myself looking for a seminar on business and economics to kill time until I say “wah does not feel the time passes so quickly and it is time I return with my Bachelor of Law”.

I giggled, it was funny that I was just about to test but my delusion had reached college.

It was getting late and my flight was tomorrow morning at ten, now it was eleven at night. I have to sleep, I want to sleep with my handsome son who has always been able to comfort me with a face that I miss so much this past night. Yes, his face is exactly like Arkanaku, his smile is the same just that he is still a toddler and can not smile death to women.

I was afraid to fall in love with my son when he was a teenager. Hah, think what I am.

I hugged my son tightly and slowly closed my eyes to take me on the adventure of my dreams.

 

The Qania POV end

 

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