Secret of the Heart

Step By Step

Mama opened my bedroom door while I was trying to lie down from feeling tired all over my body. There was no rest all day when in the car I wanted to sleep but it was not good because Miko was alone driving. I had to endure the drowsiness to be able to accompany her even though Miko repeatedly told me to sleep.

Mama sat on the bed and I woke up to look at Mama. My gut feeling is that Mama will be waiting for me to talk and say everything.

"Well, she'll tell Ma."

"But what now?"

"He's tired of Ma."

But Mama did not flinch still sitting finally I gave up, I so smiled it turns out the nature of Mama if you want to know exactly like me, can not be delayed.

"Kia's trying to get serious with Miko again" I explained slowly.

"No more trials now must be sure, Mama does not want there to be a second misunderstanding with the Bimo family who are also the Miko family."

"Why all want Kia married to Miko must be in a hurry anyway, who undergo all is us Ma, Miko just want to wait when Kia is ready."

"No word wait, sooner it's better not to refuse the opportunity that is in sight, Mama can know Miko is very serious with you because she wants to when Papa calls with the name Bimo."

"Let Kia decide on Ma" I asked Mama because I had hitherto told her nothing about the trauma that I was going through all kept to myself.

Mom hugged me and suddenly let go.

"Oh yeah, Rima came here yesterday with her family during a car salon thanksgiving event."

"really?"

"Yes....."

"Are you still not related to each other?'

I shook my head while leaning on Mama's shoulder.

"Is it still hurt?"

"Don't be so friends, you guys are friends from childhood only such problems can not greet each other until now."

I was just quietly still leaning on Mama's shoulder while playing Mama's finger.

"Yes.. later Kia tried to contact Rima with Nisa as well," I promised slowly.

"Will Kia be able to Ma, marry Miko?"

"Look!"

"You have to try, Mama really wants Kia like the others to have a partner also have children like Bena and Beny."

My heart ached when I heard Mom's words. I don't feel my tears falling, Mama doesn't know how I kept a meeting about the Doctor's verdict.

"Mama..."

I sobbed to call Mama while hugging Mama's body and hiding my cries in Mama's arms.

"Tell Mama what Kia's been secretive about all this time?"

My cry grew louder and I could only shake my head to hug Mama who caressed my head fondly.

"Don't keep it to yourself, tell Mama everything."

"Is it because your two fetuses are gone?"

I immediately let go of Mama's embrace and how shocked I was when Mama directly talked about it. I really didn't expect Mama to know all those stories. My eyes that were still crying looked at Mama with nanar.

"Mom knows everything Kia's keeping? Who said Ma ?"

"It doesn't matter who told you, but the truth was told by Bimo the last time Mama met at the hospital."

Mama cried sobbing as she said that while hugging me back. We both cried together, My mother had never asked me that question because she did not want to add pain to my heart.

I also did not want to say everything to Mama because I did not want to add the burden of thought to my parents, anyway I felt that it was not a good child for them.

All this time we kept each other a deep secret with the intention of not hurting anyone. But the reality is so inversely proportional, we're all very hurt. So who among us is so right and who is so sick, no one knows how that fear can still make me feel insecure about getting married.

Everyone felt right and all felt the pain so the steps we took back then really left deep regret. If only time could be turned back, I would shout to say everything and would not want to keep it to myself. I, Bimo, my family, the Bimo family, are all wounded. Although I ended up having to end up with Miko but she was also once hurt by the circumstances caused by her own family.

"When it's difficult to have Ma's child and Kia is still traumatized by marriage, what should Kia do?"

"Mama will be with you, there is nothing impossible in this world leave everything on the above, try to be with Miko all will definitely support you."

I immediately hugged Mama back, it was very comfortable to be near people who love me. Now I will only focus on the people who love and love me because they will definitely hold my hand when I fall and need it.

**********

The atmosphere of the dining table in the morning is very colorful with the screams and chants of Bena the beautiful son Andi.

"When's coming? How come I didn't hear?"

"Last night with Bimo" said Papa, who made Andi look at me and signal me.

"Miko?"

"Yes, last night it was a bit late so Miko went straight home," I explained as I took a glass of warm tea Lala gave.

"Quick Dad, the pickup car came over" Lala told Andi, pointing to the company's car waiting in front.

Andi immediately stood up to kiss his wife, his two children and asked permission from Papa and Mama.

"I'll call Miko, make an appointment later tonight" he said as he ran forward.

"Hey.. don't interfere in my business," I cried as I lifted the spoon I was holding.

"Andi always does," grumbled me and Lala just laughing to see me getting upset.

"Say Papa don't bother Mama Kia's business," told Bena who sat next to me while tickling her waist.

" No.no.no, Papa Bena is the best" he said, laughing.

***********

I looked at the building in front of me, this was my old school when I was in High School. It looks very modern now the building is nicer and more numerous. The garden in front of which was once now turned into a building, the trees that once were many now no longer exist replaced with beautiful flowers.

I purposely came here to meet with Rima according to my promise to Mama to fix all misunderstandings slowly and one by one. My chest was pounding with nervousness feeling worried what kind of reaction Rima would have. Whether he'll hate me or be happy to meet me.

I stepped foot slowly and asked the picket officer in front. The officer then walked into the office and told me to wait in the front seat.

"It's still just the same paint that's different," I slowly muttered.

I was immediately stunned in shock when a hand slapped behind me rather loudly. I saw Rima sobbing while looking at me.

"Bad friends, dare to break the rope of friendship just because of a small problem, if I repeat it again I will really hate you."

I smiled as I wiped away the water rolling down my cheek as it felt deeply moved by Rima's reaction. He cried when he saw me coming means he misses me and loves me so much.

"Who once betrayed me, apologize now or I'm really leaving you forever" I said.

Rima immediately hugged me, we both cried together until we forgot that there was a picket officer looking at us with a confused face.

Rima pulled me to follow her into a room from what I saw was probably her office.

"What brought you here?"

"Can't you? Heh.. When I have good intentions not appreciated, just go home ah."

"Ihh.. basic plan, explain now."

"I'm sorry I made our friendship tenuous, uh broken up," I said with a small laugh teasing Rima.

"I doubt you're sincere."

I pouted looking at Rima in annoyance. It is true that I humbled myself by apologizing not because I was guilty but because I did not want to widen our problems and I will also start a new life with Miko so inevitably I have to clean up all problems one by one.

"If I come with the word peace alone is still doubtful yes already, just assume it is finished here, actually without you I can still live well," I said while throwing my face away as if sulking.

"Heh, you wicked bastard, who said I doubted you, I love you Kia, without you knowing I still pray for happiness for you," rima sobbed me.

Sirna has been the anger that has stayed in our hearts all along. I'm so glad Rima is still like my best friend who loves me. Whatever the case, it was just a little wind that swept away our affection for a moment and then came back with an apology. We promise that in the future we will spend more time together even if only for a little while.

***********

Nisa gasped in surprise when she opened her front door because she saw me standing right in front of her. He could not help his crying and immediately hugged me.

"Jeez Kia, wherever you can just now come here," he said stammeringly.

"I miss you Nis," I was still in Nisa's arms for a long time.

"You know my house is open whenever you want to come in" he explained, wiping away tears.

Nisa pulled me to sit on the front sofa.

"How are you serious about Miko?"

"Know where?"

"Luthfi is a story."

"Well, why is Luthfi like a girl now, like gossip."

"That's... Luthfi my family, she's just telling me anyway."

"Have the news spread here that I'm going to be serious with Miko? What do you think is gonna be such a hot rumor because I'm getting married to Bimo's half-sister?"

"Why do you like to think about what people say anyway, the important thing is that you, Miko, your friends and both families all support, people's judgments don't matter."

"I haven't met the Bimo family, do they know?"

"If Mama didn't seem to have, but Dance seems to know, she's close to Luthfi now."

"Huh, Luthfi's serious about Dance too?"

"Yes." Yeah."

I was shocked to hear Nisa's explanation that Luthfi would be married to Tari they had even registered marriage legally just to the inauguration.

I really did not expect all this time I was a fool with anyone's news and now I look like a fool who was shocked to hear the news of my friends. Not unwilling to know but I alone who is often lazy to hear things labeled gossip, it is better not to know all.

*********

"Sister Kia.........."

Dance shouted my name as I got out of the car. He was sitting in front of the house with his mother seemingly relaxed and I smiled waving my hand.

I quickly walked to where they were sitting. Mama Bimo also waved at me. He sat in a wheelchair smiling happily looking at me who was walking towards the porch.

I approached Mama Bimo who was also Miko's stepmother. He held my hand with a smile. Dari looked at me with a meaningful smile turned out to be true that Nisa said, Tari already knows my relationship with Miko.

"Is it so busy you don't have time to visit your mom?"

"For busy Ma, many office events can't be left behind."

I answered slowly as I looked at Mama's face, the one who gave birth to the man who once loved me. I actually really wanted to see Mama's reaction to my relationship with Miko but I broke it off because I waited for Miko to speak.

But from earlier Dance looked at me meaningfully while smiling a little.

"This is Bimo's savings, it's time for Kia to hand over to Mama" I said, handing over Bimo's bankbook and ATM that Luthfi handed over after Bimo died.

"Mama doesn't want to, it's Kia's."

"It's not Ma, it's Bimo's."

"Please please don't be like this, Bimo left for you not to give it to Mama" said Mama Bimo as she returned to give it to me.

I just said it because I don't want to make Mama remember and feel sad for Bimo again. I saw Mama Bimo crying and closing my face and I felt guilty.

"I'm sorry Kia Ma, it's not Kia's intention to make Mama sad."

Mama Bimo opened her face-covering hand while wiping away the tears and looking at me. He took my hand and tried to smile.

"Come on. Now Kia focus on herself, get married and open her heart as wide as anyone who can make Kia happy, do not always remember Bimo who is already there."

I looked at Mama Bimo, I did not feel like I was crying at the words of Mama Bimo who told me to let go of Bimo. I immediately hugged Mama Bimo while sobbing, now I have to be strong because Mama Bimo already said that.

He has accepted and made peace with the past because he can hold my hand sincerely. My heart became a bit restless what if he knew I was being serious with his stepson Miko. My daydream gasped when Mama Bimo pulled my hand to invite me inside.

********

I smiled when I saw Bimo's room which was now changed into Raffa's room Tari's son. Raffa is big now, he smiles when he sees me coming in.

"Dance is happy that Kak Kia is finally becoming Big Brother Dance in a moment" whispered Tari to me.

I immediately smiled, in this house only Dance was very sincere in loving me first when everyone hated me and blamed me. Dance held my hand and nodded her sign she was very happy.

"When is the opening with Luthfi?"

Dance was surprised when I asked her she didn't think I knew everything.

"Maybe early next month a simple party, sister, embarrassed to have a big child," replied Tari slowly while pointing at Raffa who was talking to her Grandmother.

"What about Raffa's father?"

"He also has a wife and children again, so it doesn't matter" replied Tari.

"Congratulations, may it last until later."

"Thank you for your prayers, brother."

"I want to meet Luthfi now" my god told Tari with a laugh.

"Later the night he came, used to bring food for Mama."

Dance pulled me towards the kitchen to get away from her mother who was talking to Raffa in the living room.

"Mama already knows, your relationship but wait for Kak Miko to ask permission,"

"really?"

"He was so happy when Kak Kia came, it seemed to hold everything back so as not to say so Mama cried."

"Oh. That's Miko's sister coming," cried Tari while pointing towards the front yard of the house, when a car stopped and I soon saw Miko coming out of the car.

***********

**If time could be played back, I would definitely try to correct all the mistakes that have occurred. Not just for me, for everything. But it was all impossible so now it could only improve everything slowly and get back excited for its own sake.

**Never forget the three people in your life :

The one who helps you in trouble.

The one who left you in trouble.

The one who put you in trouble.

*Thank you Readers for reading this novel, once again forgive me for being able to update only once every 1 week. Hopefully I can understand this is how I am. Stay healthy, stay happy and stay here with me, thank you😊.....