Secret of the Heart

Borrow Your Hug

Alan and Wiwin ran to the parking lot after receiving a call from Miko. They were very anxious to hear Miko who was very panicked because she could not find me. At that time they were having dinner at a restaurant without finishing their meal directly following Miko who was in my house.

"Why indeed?" ask Alan while driving.

"I don't know, either, that must have happened to Kia," replied Wiwin with a very anxious face.

************

When Miko hugged me, I immediately cried as hard as she could. Miko did not say anything just hugged me tightly while stroking my head. We stayed like that for a few minutes until Miko realized that my body was shivering with the cold.

"Change clothes will hurt."

Miko said as she wiped my tears then helped me stand up and took the towel that was on top of the small closet giving it to me with a smile.

"Why Kia?"

Wiwin came straight to me who was standing in front of Miko. He immediately hugged me and told Miko to come out.

"I'll help Kia" Wiwin told Miko.

Miko came out in wet clothes and Alan was in the living room sitting waiting because he did not dare to go into my room.

"Do you need to buy a change of clothes?"

"No, my suitcase is in the car" Miko replied.

"Where's key? I'll take it, in the trunk, right?"

Alan then goes out to Miko's car and picks up the suitcase in the trunk and hands it to Miko. Miko hurried to change her clothes in the guest bathroom. After finishing out and sitting on the sofa near Alan.

"Order the food, I'm hungry" Miko told Alan.

"True, eat first in order to face reality" Alan said with a laugh.

Miko immediately threw the pillow in her hand at Alan. Instead of dodging Alan instead catches and throws back at Miko while laughing. Alan then orders the food requested by Miko because she also feels hungry.

*****

After I finished changing all the clothes, I got out of the bathroom and headed straight for the bed. Taking the blanket directly lying down and covering my entire body as it felt extremely cold.

Wiwin sat at the end of the bed and just looked at me while taking a bottle of mineral water and slowly approached me.

"Take the medicine first," he asked while handing over the anti-depressant drugs that have been prescribed by the Doctor.

I got up and drank it, my body still shivering from the cold. Wiwin held my hand and then confirmed the blankets so that my whole body was exposed and hugged me for a while as if giving me a little warmth.

I still cried sobbing looking at Wiwin.

"Stay like Win, take longer to hug me" I asked.

"Are you ok? Do you want to tell me about everything now?"

"Miko proposed to me."

"Congratulation, but this is how the reaction should be happy dong."

Wiwin seemed confused to see my new situation proposed but instead of being happy even like a depressed and depressed person.

"I am scare, so scare" I said, covering my face with a blanket.

"Why?"

"Miko doesn't fully know what I'm doing yet" I replied slowly.

"Why should I be afraid? Is it because your doctor's verdict will be difficult to get pregnant?"

I didn't answer just nod while closing my eyes.

"You can say that later after you get married, try to get some medication first and we can find a good doctor."

Wiwin tried to persuade me to be frank with Miko so that the problem between us could be resolved and I could move on with my life

"What if he's disappointed? What if she leaves me after knowing everything, I'm really scared."

"Faster he knows it better, we can see how his opinions and reactions are, are you seriously not the same? Don't fret, it's a matter of one's heart if you're not serious better decide sooner don't give empty hope, someone who's disappointed is scarier than someone who hates, if the one who hates one day he can turn to like but if disappointed do not hope you can get his joy again."

"What should I know?"

Miko immediately replied to Wiwin's words, apparently he had been at the door listening to us talk. Wiwin was so surprised he didn't expect Miko to hear all our talk.

I was even more shocked to sit down and could only look at Miko very nervously.

"When you talk about this matter, whatever the decision will be made wisely, I beg for your good as well" said Wiwin left us both.

Miko approached me still looking at me who was down and quietly sat at the end of the bed while grabbing my hand.

"is better? Tell me everything now, no one is left behind."

I looked at him with a very nervous heart, my tears came out I could not stand it anymore I wanted to scream why when I wanted to open my heart always faced with the past wounds with Bimo.

It's not a matter of me wanting nothing to relate to but the fear of the continuation later. When with Dony I can keep a meeting and can release Dony well because with him I do not expect seriously and too far.

But Miko who is Bimo's half-sister she already knows all our secrets. All Bimo's secrets he knows there's nothing left but the secrets I've discovered are little he knows and I haven't said them fully.

Fatal is the right word for all my problems, I was so scared not only by the word marriage but also about the baby. It was during my second miscarriage that I was told by the doctor that it was hard to get pregnant again.

Isn't the purpose of getting married wanting to have offspring everyone wants and I can't easily get it. What if Miko wants it so badly and I can't make it happen.

That's what made me decide to suppress my desire to have a serious relationship with someone especially with the specter of the past that still clearly hurt me.

I don't want to feel the failure of wanting to get married a second time, it hurts so much it can't even be expressed in words. It almost made me want to end my life and all are still very clearly remembered even when I close my eyes.

The first time with Bimo I made a lot of mistakes and I even got a really good shot. Now with Miko I don't want to repeat the mistake that will make us both suffer in the end.

"If you don't want a story to be okay, I'll wait until you can say it."

Miko held my face affectionately she tried to give me understanding. I don't talk just looking at him. Miko right now in my eyes is the one who is trying hard to treat the wounds of my past.

"I will tell you now, if you want to leave me after this I will accept," I sobbed as I looked at Miko.

Miko exhaled still holding my hand. He waited for what I was going to say with a smile.

"I've got two kids, that's them" I said, pointing to a picture on the table.

"I know."

"I'm in a difficult verdict to have children the possibility is only 10%, what if I can not give you offspring," I said slowly while sobbing.

Miko was still smiling looking lovingly, she clasped my hand even more when she heard the confession I said. It was strange that I told her with shame and disintegration but she smiled to the point of making me wonder.

"You know Kia, when I decided seriously with you I gladly accepted you for who you are, demanding nothing and no other conditions, to me you opening your heart to me is more than enough."

My tears are getting louder to hear Miko's words without any hesitation with her desire to accompany me. Bimo actually sent me a guardian angel who was Miko's sister. I hugged her while crying loudly on her shoulder spilling the gloom that had been struggling in my heart that was blown away with one word by Miko.

"I accept you for who you are without looking back."

Miko stroked my head back in my arms tightly.

"What if I can't have children?"

I hugged her tighter and warmer when Miko said I was more important than anything.

"Why are you still crying? Is it deeply moved, isn't my love extraordinary?"

I immediately let go of her embrace and wiped my tears while looking at her a little annoyed, miko could still joke around at a time like this. I just now realized that Miko was right for now only being able to accept the situation without fear.

"Yes, very moved, thank you for your sincere understanding and great love for me" I said, kissing her cheek.

"The order has come Miko, he said you were hungry" said Wiwin standing in front of the room door.

Miko immediately took the wallet but refused Wiwin and he said that all had been paid by Alan.

"Let's eat" he asked me.

"I want to rest for a while later," I refused because I already felt the reaction of the medicine I was taking began to make sleepy.

"I'm with Kia, you eat first with Alan he's waiting at the dinner table," Wiwin told Miko.

"If you want to eat tell me we'll order," Miko told me as she left the room and I just nodded.

"You ate there, too" told Wiwin to lie down and close his eyes.

Instead of moving, he even lay down next to me while laughing with pleasure.

"My love is no ordinary love if you have......."

Wiwin sang a piece of song while holding my face and then laughed and I hit his hand.

"It must have been listening to my conversation with Miko huh, nosy base."

"Happy friend, do we need to go to the doctor to check on your trauma?"

"No, I'm still sane."

"It's also really easy to cure, love from a really sincere person, I'm proud of Miko there's rarely such a man" Wiwin said.

"May Miko's heart not change until the end" I said.

"Hopefully."

My best friend prayed while looking at me with a happy smile as if happy with the completion of the problem. I looked at Wiwin and smiled happily as well at his words.

I was really relieved that all this time the thing that I feared was too much could be accepted by Miko with understanding. He even strengthened me that all the destiny has been determined can not be rejected and we can only live it.

"Miko is the right person for you now, I believe after hearing her reaction that still wants to be next to you after hearing your secret Kia, she's your protector never have any more feelings of doubt."

Wiwin confirmed the blanket because he saw me sleeping.

********

"It's Kia's sleeping, ' explained Wiwin as he sat next to Alan.

Wiwin then went to eat with them, earlier in the restaurant they immediately went without spending a meal because hearing I was missing even Wiwin had not touched the food at all.

After eating they chatted in the lounge while watching television.

"There is wine in the car," said Miko immediately stood up to take the intended.

Miko came with a bottle of wine and Wiwin had prepared his flute glass.

"Always bring this?" tanya Alan took a bottle of wine from Miko's hand.

"So I should have opened it when Kia accepted my proposal, but well that's it....."

Alan laughed when he heard Miko's reason and opened the wine lid and poured it into a flute glass. Wiwin came with a chocolate tart in the refrigerator, I always have a supply of cakes because I am the laziest person to eat rice at night.

The three of them are still talking while enjoying red wine and chocolate tart because red wine is famous for being a bit bitter after taste and chocolate tart fitting if it is a partner's food.

"Is there no other event than a ball game?" ask Alan Wiwin.

"Don't change the channel, this match I'm waiting for from last week" Miko said.

"Basically a man," grumbled Wiwin getting bored.

"Why don't you sleep with Kia inside?" ask Alan.

"When you sleep can not be disturbed, there is a slight sound he must wake up, if I am afraid he will wake up" explained Wiwin.

"You have to go to bed first if you get married later, if he sleeps you haven't slept he can't sleep either" Wiwin told Miko.

"Don't sleep all night, what's the trouble?"

Alan told Wiwin who was immediately pinched and Alan groaned in pain. Miko laughed seeing him then refocused on the ball game.

Wiwin already looks sleepy, he lies on Alan's shoulder and soon sleeps and Alan is still watching television with Miko.

"Goo.ooolll......."

Shouted Miko when her favorite team managed to break into the opponent's goal, Miko immediately closed her mouth because she was not consciously shouting loudly. He forgot what Wiwin said that do not fuss quickly at the sight of a sleeping Wiwin fortunately not wake up.

But she was shocked as I stood in front of the door and looked at those watching television. I then walked towards the lounge and sat down next to Miko.

"I want that" pointed me at the bottle of wine on the table.

Miko smiled pouring over, turned her glass for a while and handed it to me. I drank it straight out. Miko looked at me and smiled to see that I was doing a bit well. I hugged Miko and put my head on her shoulder.

"Hi Alan" I said to Alan, who was sitting on the television and Wiwin was sleeping next to him.

Alan only looked at me for a moment, smiled at me and then looked back at the television and let us both talk. Miko let me sit at the side and hugged her even changing she hugged me.

"Did my screams wake you up? A storm...heh?"

I looked at him and shook my head while leaning back on his shoulder.

"I borrowed your hug tonight, may I?" I asked Miko.

"I give it gladly, don't borrow it you can have forever."

"Are you sure? My promisse? Don't run away from me if we have a problem later" I threatened.

"Never, I accept all your shortcomings and advantages, because I love you," Miko said as she hugged and held my hand

"Don't accept me for who I am, demand something so we can be together and complement each other."

"Later, if you are married I will sue you, do not dare to refuse" Miko said with a teasing smile.

That night I fell asleep in Miko's arms it felt warm and sheltered safely making me fall asleep soundly.

***********

**Everything in this world has its time, your tears, your sadness, your hardships, your difficulties, your pain, there will be a time lost. So will your happiness, your pleasure, your ease, your health will have time to turn around at zero.

** We are all sinners, some are often engaged but always sympathizing and giving alms and always helping others. Some are diligent worship and look good but like to hurt others also do cunning to anyone. There is nothing most holy we all just have different paths in choosing sin.

**Thank you so much for the readers who have been waiting for the update, sorry I can not always update please very understanding. Happy reading, hope someone will read this story,

I am nothing without you, stay healthy and don't forget to be happy, see you later, love from Kia😊