Secret of the Heart

Three Times in Love

My phone rang when I wanted to run the car I took from Bimo's house after being driven by Luthfi. I saw from Lala his wife Andi maybe Mama told me to call.

"Where are you?" lala asked worriedly.

"Is Papa okay?" I went back to Lala.

"Tomorrow you can go home, so hurry here you are looking for Auntie" he replied.

I'm running the car to the hospital. I poured open the box from Bimo even though my heart was curious. That night I planted Papa in the hospital because tomorrow morning must be checked by the Doctor and I as his son must be accompanied by Papa.

When I looked at Papa, I still could not believe the reality I knew from the Bimo family. My heart still doubts that Papa can harm the person I love so much and his future son-in-law. But reality is still reality now I can only give up.

Past events between me and Bimo involve not just the two of us but the family. That's why Bimo was so strong about keeping that secret that if I knew it I would definitely get hurt.

Papa was allowed to go home, the doctor allowed him during the examination earlier. Papa was very happy while hugging Mama and me. We went home feeling relieved even though my heart still hurt because of Papa first.

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At night I brought the box that Mama Bimo gave to the room with a thumping feeling. Very curious actually started last night but I tried to hold it.

I opened the box that Bimo gave me slowly. There's a birthday gift watch I gave Bimo last training. There are also photos of the two of us while racing Bimo there are even photos with his friends one team. Photos when we vacation to Bali and also at Bimo's graduation. He was handsome in a suit and he smiled as he hugged me.

There was a painting of my face while copying notes in the library back when we were in High School. At that time I loved him very much and there was no other name than Bimo. I never saw another man when it came to Bimo. I smiled sadly seeing the painting below it read.

"Hey... Chocolate, I love you."

This gold B bracelet is my last Bimo birthday present I gave when we were in Sangata. That night drained my tears because that was the last time I met love as her partner. Bimo's old phone is still good only the battery runs out, I then look for the charger and charge the battery.

Bimo laptop that is often used is not a laptop that used to be but is in this box. The ring place is still good and the couple ring that Bimo gave me as my birthday gift in Bali was still there. A frame with pictures of my two fetuses and a small notebook. Even the comic books I read on the golf course that is doraemon comics are still there.

I could not feel my tears falling as I sobbed I tried to check the contents of the box which turned out to be all of our memorable items. Bimo saved it very well even plane tickets when we went to Bali there still make my heart break if I remember everything.

I opened the Bimo phone that is still on the charger and in it there are still photos of us while camping together. There were also videos Heri recorded while I was eating, singing and cheering two years ago during our reunion. That was the last time I met Bimo.

Which makes me very surprised there is a recording of Bimo's voice while saying the marriage contract when we were both in Bali. As we felt the world belonged to both of us unaware of the coming storm. I patted my chest withstanding the pain I felt right now.

"How could I forget it, Bim.help me," my sob as to cover my face with both hands.

My voice when I called him when Bimo in Balikpapan, I said happy can not be searched but created myself sound little Bimo and he replied that I was happy at that time.

"I miss you now, Bim" I whispered.

There are also pictures of me and Bimo when I graduated with my parents and Andi my cousin and Bimo's best friend. Some of our photos were in Balikpapan when I caught Bimo there because Bimo was working there at the time. There was even a photo of my Dad and Mom as well when we were all at my Tanteku house in Balikpapan.

I immediately cried to see her, after what my Papa did to her but Bimo still kept the photos to my two parents. I opened the laptop it turns out there are still duties when the training in Bali that I had made so that Bimo was not confused. He even changed all the names of his folders with the name Brown.

I then opened the ring box which turned out Bimo's ring was still there I did not expect because I said the ring was stored in a safe place when I asked. My heart is still here the sentence is written clearly on a small paper in it. I then grabbed the box that was on my dresser and took my ring that I wanted to return to Bimo. Staring at him with still crying it turns out Bimo still keeps it well, I put my ring a box with a ring belonging to Bimo.

I also stared at the picture frame of my fetus first. It turned out that Bimo also had a picture of him, Nisa who gave it to Bimo. He always urged Bimo to come back to me. It turns out Bimo also really loves them prospective children.

"Papa has caught up with you, you must have met by now" I said, wiping my tears.

I opened the small book that was in the box and slowly read it with an indescribable feeling.

My beautiful and good chocolate. In my life believe me I fell in love with you three times, first in the teacher's office when we were in high school I saw your eyes looking at me. The second one when I saw you singing in your college when I let you go for a while because I wanted to succeed. Thirdly when I saw you working in the office, you looked beautiful and sweet with your funny behavior.

You know Chocolate, I even follow you all day so I can know how your daily life is. I rented a hotel room right in front of your office and I also bought porridge when you said you wanted breakfast porridge. I never expected my Chocolate to be successful and come back beautiful which made me so sorry about my decision to leave you. I'd love to explain why I left you married, but then Mama will tell me because Mama's the one who has to apologize to you.

I'll tell you something but it's a secret only me, you, Luthfi, Heri and someone who knows. I met your father while in the hospital he didn't recognize me. I was so surprised when your mother explained everything. Your father spoke to me when he heard my voice talking to your mother. He asked me something I never expected.

"Bimo! When's come? Why not go home? When did you propose to Kia?"

I was very surprised to learn that Om suffered from a severe memory decline and glaucoma. Your mother told me all about your father's circumstances. I've apologized to your Papa and Mama and they've forgiven me.

If you had heard my mother's story you would not have expected that there had been such an incident. I also didn't expect Om to be that angry with me. Don't worry I've forgiven your father. I've really forgiven him so don't be afraid.

I'm a very guilty person for all the events that happened to you. About our children all because of me. How should I atone for all my sins on my chocolate. Every time I imagine Nisa's words

"He came with a lot of pain and bleeding right there where you were sitting."

I don't think I'll be able to get an apology from you because when you lost our son I married someone else instead. I'm sorry Chocolate, so very sorry about the kids.

That's why I decided to give my cornea to your father. So that I can still see my smiling Chocolate staring into my eyes. I'd like to see my chocolate for a little longer. Seeing you smile while holding your face.

I miss you so much Brown, miss when we're together when our love makes time stop and when I hold you and be next to you. Seeing your laughter and your effect, when my crybaby Chocolates weep for sulking.

About my eyes this is only Luthfi and a few people know so promise me to keep it. Don't let anyone in my family know, I don't want to make a scene later when I'm not around.

I want you to know Brown that I never let go of my heart from you even though we were apart. Even though I am married I still love you, trust only you in my heart. But I turned out to be a coward who never dared to apologize to you and that's what I regret until the end.

I'll say something, that you always wanted to say and you always forced me to say it but I never did until I was gone.

"I love you Chocolate."

There is never anything else in my heart just you, even though I am gone and exist in other realms I never stop loving you. I love you so much Chocolate so please don't cry anymore. From now on try to find happiness elsewhere, open your heart to anyone so that he can heal the wounds I once left behind.

I left happily believe me and I caught up with the kids. They might scold me for making their mother suffer. But I will find a way for them to forgive me. I'm sorry I went ahead of you to meet them.

So my dear Brown you must forgive me and tell them to forgive me too. Promise me don't cry anymore you have to be happy now. I love you so much and I'll be waiting for you there, let's meet and gather there with the kids. I'm willing to wait for you to come and apologize in person if it's my punishment for giving you pain. Remember Bimo has always loved Chocolate there is no other name in my heart other than my Chocolate.

Bimo ended his note with a picture of two of my face and his face the same as the one in his hand on his birthday. Where I gave up everything for him.

"Bimo.. I love you," I sighed softly as I carried the book to my chest.

My tears can't stop flowing. That night I slept hugging everything Bimo gave me. Now I know my Bimo never stopped loving me and never turned away from me. I fell in love with you three times in my life, the words Bimo wrote were still vivid in my mind until I fell asleep tired of crying.

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**Memories can be life's most valuable lessons. But do not also live in memories because the reality although bitter that is what we have to live. The reality of life that we really have to fight for.

**How Papa Kia is doing after getting a corneal donor from Bimo and how Kia looks into the eyes of people she once loved so much and was able to sacrifice for him.

**Welcome to read, we still explore the circumstances after Bimo's death and what he left for Kia. Thanks for all the support, don't forget to vote, like and comment😊.