Mr. Hephephobias

CHAPTER 185 - The Fruit of the Heart

Reisa already knows and hears from Leona about Lucia's accident. It was not only the fact behind the incident that made Reisa very angry, but the great things that had been sacrificed and snatched from Lucia.

The accident that happened was indeed not an act of sabotage where there were others who wanted to kill Lucia through the accident. However, an incident that was well planned.

Mickey and Dr. Leona was the one who planned it all and Lucia was willing to get involved in it. All this is done for the handling of haphephobia owned by Rayn. Dr. Daniel and Dr. Leona has decided to use the Flooding method for Rayn's recovery.

Flooding or flooding is an appropriate method to eliminate Rayn's fear by exposing the subject of the feared stimulus directly. The treatment involves the emergence of Rayn's fear at the level of the full, or even close to the full.

That extreme way was forced to do because there was no other way and they needed Lucia as the subject in this method. It was not an easy decision for Mickey to agree to Lucia's involvement, but Lucia herself was willing to sacrifice for Rayn's recovery.

Lucia had already agreed on their plan before Rayn and herself came to Canada. That means Lucy's departure with Ryan to Canada is also part of the plan. The exact timing of the handler on the anniversary of Rayn's mother's death was also part of the plan.

Lucia was well aware of the risks she had to accept. Despite the assurances Mickey gives for her safety, Lucia will still choose to do so for the sake of Rayn, her husband. Although the choice required him to make sacrifices by betting even his life would still do so. That was the absolute decision that Lucia made and she would not falter.

When Lucia receives a message from Mickey to meet somewhere without Rayn, it is then that Lucia begins to accept the scenario for the role she must play. Mickey has again made an offer to Lucia to refuse, so Mickey will immediately cancel the plan without thinking. However, Lucia remained on her decision. Recalling the events of Rayn's fight, it made Lucia unable to contain herself just by looking at her alone. At least there's still something she can do for Rayn, her husband.

Lucia leaves Rayn on the grounds that picking up Resia is part of the scenario. Asking Rayn to wait for him at a bus stop is also part of the scenario. Repeating the event and replacing Rayn's mother with Lucia is a perfect scenario.

They use the already professional stuntman actors in performing surrogate roles in every dangerous scene. Including all the handlers to keep Lucy safe has always been their priority.

One thing Lucia did outside of the scenario was when she sent Rayn a picture message. So did when he called because he was eager to hear Rayn's voice. Lusia was so happy that she even felt great happiness when she saw Rayn there waiting for her. That was the reason why she smiled, because in the end she could do something for her husband.

For Lucia, the sacrifices she made were still not worth what Rayn had given her all along. Love, compassion, even the other sacrifices Rayn has made for her have made her life more meaningful.

The moment that Lusia remembered those moments was the most beautiful moment when Rayn paired her sweet ring with the sacred promise made by Rayn. That happy moment that flashed in Lusia's memory before she turned her head to look at the black sedan vehicle speeding at full speed towards her.

Everything was planned and prepared long ago by himself and Mickey. Mickey was worried because on the day of planning, he heard his father had run away and was not on a plane flight. Despite making the situation even more dangerous, Mickey could not delay their plans. And in the end the decision has brought about a result by which method they can complete according to plan.

Knowing Rayn's current condition, it seemed that the method had brought the desired result. The great sacrifices that Lucia made were not in vain. However, unfortunately not only Lucia sacrificed here, but it turns out there are still other sacrifices that make Reisa angry and angry to Mickey when he found out from a nurse. The sacrifice was the pregnancy of Lucia, where Lucia lost her first baby in the incident.

"Reisa, tell me what happened? You scared the shit out of me. Is it because you already know that this accident was just.." asked Lucia doubtfully.

"I completely understand you why you act this stupid, so I won't ask why you're willing to do it, but." said Reisa restrained.

Looking at the pregnancy test kit that is still intact, Reisa is very sure if Lucia must still not know about her pregnancy. Lucia did not know if she was pregnant with the fruits of her love with Rayn. That means Lucia also does not know if because of the incident, she has lost her baby.

Reisa didn't know where to start. He really could not bear to honestly tell Lucia. "I saw the pregnancy test kit in your bag, did you buy it?" ask Reisa.

Seeing Reisa ask that with a sobbing that meant something bad might have happened. However, Lucia tries to explain the situation she knows to delay hearing what Reisa will say.

"I feel something, but I'm not sure either. I bought it to see if I was pregnant. If true then I hope it can be the most beautiful gift for Rayn" explained Lucia.

Reisa came back crying to hear Lucia's words, it was so heartbreaking right now. Reisa continued to wipe away the tears that continued to flow nonstop.

"Reisa... what .. do I have it?" asked Lusia softly. The question made Reisa cry.

"If it's true, then why are you crying? A.pa, what.., I lost it?" continued asked Lucia trying to toughen up to hear Reisa's answer.

Lucia felt a tightness in her chest like she was being squeezed so strongly upon hearing Reisa's reply. Even the tears that had been blocked dripped without being able to say a word. Soundless sobs further tormented the inner Lucia.

"Did Rayn know this?" tanya Lusia lirih's.

Lucia felt this harsh reality was like killing her, but there would be others who would be more hurt to hear it. That man was Rayn, her husband.

Rayn is a person who desperately wants the presence of a child among them. Lucia recalls those moments where Rayn wanted her the most.

"What if we have a baby? I want to be a father."

"Looking at these tiny shoes, I was suddenly afraid that I would hurt them while hugging our baby."

"First Hal? of course I'll keep teaching him to call me father."

"I want to be a wise father and he can be proud of."

"I will make him present among us. I'll keep fighting to make you in there."

"Rayn, let's try."

Lucia kept dropping her tears remembering all those moments. If Rayn found out what was happening, of course she would blame herself a lot. What else if Rayn knew all happened when Lusia was involved in handling the haphephobia she suffered. Rayn will never forgive herself in her entire life.

No father would be willing to sacrifice his wife and child just for his sake. It was better for Rayn not to know, that was the decision Luisa had chosen. For Lucia, it was enough that only she would bear the guilt for a lifetime.

"Can you keep it a secret from Rayn?" Lucia asks Reisa not to tell Rayn about her pregnancy.

Reisa understood how Lucia felt at the moment, but she could not understand why she chose to carry the burden alone. Lucia said if she was the one who had decided to get involved it meant that she should have had all the consequences, not Rayn.

Lucia asks Reisa to assume that she never knew it and she will keep it a secret that she will keep for the rest of her life. "Let me bear it for the rest of my life" Lucia said.

"I am the one who killed her, I am the mother who killed her" Lucia said, crying bitterly in Reisa's arms. "Reisa, I was the mother who killed him."

Lucia's cry broke out in Reisa's arms, a heart-wrenching Isakan. He could not endure the pain that was like squeezing his heart.

Although Lucia tries to stay strong, but still no mother will be able to let go of her baby just like that. Lucia feels she has failed to protect the baby they so desperately crave to be present in the world and be part of her small family.

"Rayn, I'm sorry...."

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*** to Be Continued ***