Mr. Hephephobias

CHAPTER 135 - Goodbye

"Are you going to see him?"

The question that was spoken from Rayn's lips instantly made a silent sound without sound, only a trickle of tap water dripped. Rayn's eyes glare with a calm demeanor as if implying an unusual meaning.

"Eeem" murmured Lucia who meant that if she did, she would go to see Kelvin who had just asked her to meet in a phone call.

"Of course I'll see him, I think I should see him" continued Lucia.

Rayn nodded slowly as if she was fine hearing that answer, she then turned her face away while throwing a thin smile at the corner of her lips as if to laugh at herself, how stupid of him to be okay.

For a moment Rayn thought, what response he had to give, what kind of attitude he had to show. He was silent looking at Lucia with a look of face that made even Lusia unable to guess.

Should I let him go or I ask him to stay, stay by my side and don't leave, that's what he thinks. Rayn seemed hesitant and he did not know, the opposite answer would bring their relationship to the end of what it was like.

Should he forbid Lucia to meet other men who had feelings for his wife or he should be wise to give full trust to the wife.

Rayn sighed for a moment to throw away all the anxiety that would only make her mood worse. And in the end, Rayn gave her permission. "Alright." he said briefly after only being quiet for so long.

As if understanding the contents of Rayn's day that gave a different answer to his heart, Lucia took a step closer. He grabbed Rayn's hands and held them with both hands. "I don't know what Kelvin wants to talk to me about, but I think it's my chance to finish and I have to do it. I'll meet him, but I'll also ask you for something selfish" Lucia said, staring intently at Rayn's two beads.

"What do you want?" ask Rayn.

"I want you to go with me" Lucia replied.

"Why ??" rayn asked briefly with a flat tone and a calm countenance.

"I know, I know very well that it's gonna make you very uncomfortable. But I want you there with me. I'm sorry Ryan, but I want you.." explains Lucia.

"Well." Rayn cut off his unfinished Lucia speech.

Rayn quickly accepted Lucia's request without needing to hear the reason she wanted to explain, as if she didn't care and didn't want to know why she wanted her to go with him. Rayn was ready to change clothes.

.

.

.

Rayn eventually accompanies Lucia to meet Kelvin and they arrive at a restaurant where Lusia and Kelvin meet. On the second floor of the restaurant, Kelvin was already waiting for the arrival of Lucia. Lucia doesn't tell Kelvin she's coming with Rayn.

Arriving at the restaurant, Rayn took off her hand which from then on continued to hold Lusia's hand. Lucia looked towards Rayn, why did she take it off? That was the question that was clearly implied behind Lucia's gaze towards Rayn at this moment. Rayn unraveled a smile, she asked Lucia to enter without her while she would wait at another table.

"Ray..."

Rayn grabbed onto both of Lucia's shoulders and said "I know you want me by your side to strengthen your feelings so that you don't falter and need you to know at that time I will be very happy to even hold your hand to strengthen your heart. As your husband, that's what I really want to do. But now, I think you have to face it yourself without any shadow of me. That way, then I think the two of you will really be able to finish it without leaving any feelings behind." Rayn explained.

Lucia understands what Rayn has to say and she appreciates her decision. What Rayn said was right, Lucia wanted Rayn to strengthen her heart and it turned out that it was not the right decision. Lucia finally goes to see Kelvin who is waiting for her at the 2nd floor table without Rayn.

There Kelvin waved his hand when he saw the arrival of Lucia who had just climbed the last rung of the stairs. Kelvin is seen sitting with a bottle of wine and two glasses on the table.

The two greeted each other and asked each other the news as if they had not met for a long time. Kelvin apologizes to Lucia for having to invite him to meet outside, not at his Cafe which makes it look like the meeting was a serious one. Kelvin just doesn't want to make Lusia uncomfortable if they meet at the Cafe while Lucia is still on leave. He knew very well that it would only lead to misunderstandings that would burden Lucia.

"You're asking me to meet, is there something?" tanya Lucia sat in the chair right opposite Kelvin's chair.

Kelvin poured wine into the glass. "We order a meal first" he replied.

Kelvin ordered the dishes that Lucia had chosen. Lucia seemed to be sitting awkwardly in front of Kelvin. The situation is not like their usual self. As we know, Kelvin and Lucia's relationship is not only limited to the relationship between the boss and his staff. Both have had closeness since they knew each other since the age of Lucia sitting in high school. However, that closeness began to change since Kelvin had feelings for Lucia, a feeling that Lucia could not respond to.

Kelvin raised his glass which was filled with wine. "Before, I wanted to congratulate you on your marriage" Kelvin said with a smile.

Lucia raised her glass and returned Kelvin's smile with a smile. "Thank you Kelvin."

Kelvin felt something excruciating as he watched Lucia return the congratulations with a smile that seemed so happy. In front of the woman he loved so much, Kelvin again unraveled the smile behind the pain of having to take off every memory he had with Lucia. He even let go of feelings he had never spoken correctly.

"Lussia, I love you" Kelvin said suddenly.

"Kelvin. I.." said Lucia nervously.

After saying a surprising word, Kelvin gulped the wine in his hand with just one gulp. He then placed the empty glass on the table while releasing the breath that had been like choking him. "Give me time to talk and just listen to me" Kelvin asked Lucia.

When the loyalty of Lucia as if being tested with expressions of feelings from a man who always takes care and treats himself well. There, Rayn waits for him as a husband who believes wholeheartedly in his wife, Lucia.

Kelvin returned a small smile, but it looked like a smile he was showing himself. As if he was telling himself 'how miserable I am'. Yeah, that's what Lucia sees behind Kelvin's current smile.

"Lussia, like when I look at you like this, it's always been a day where I'm filled with great happiness. I always felt that even if it was just an eye greeting or even if it was just a meaningless conversation between us I always felt that it was enough for me."

"I just realized that it turned out to be all my stupidity that always felt enough so I didn't dare to take more steps."

"And I realized it when someone was talking to me. You know what he told me? Like a cruel person who does not want to support or comfort me, he slashed my heart with his sharp words. He told me why I lost even when I didn't feel like I was at war."

Kelvin goes back to that time and the person he was talking about was Dave. Yeah, the one who said he was mean to her at the time was Dave. Just then, in front of a Bar, Dave broke into a half-drunk Kelvin.

#Flashback

Kelvin let go of Dave's embrace and walked away, then shouted as loud as possible to Dave.

"I love you... !!!!" kelvin's yelling surprised Dave.

"Dave, why is it so hard for me to tell him that? Why... ??? " continue yelling.

As if giving a hard slap with his words, Dave instead comforted Kelvin but instead broke his spirits amid Kelvin's confusion.

Dave moved one step closer to Kelvin. "If everything stays the same, then you should take one step closer like this, one step closer and closer to making his heart beat." said Dave who was getting closer standing in front of Kelvin.

"If the distance between us and the woman we love does not change, then we should have taken one step closer. It won't be enough just to make her feel as comfortable as you do, but you have to make her flutter while with you and from there that love will grow."

.

.

.

#BACK

"What he said at the time was true, if all I had done was just stand in place and stupidly I felt it was enough"

"Every time I look at you, I always say in my heart. You are the first person I want so much and I love more than anything, but why don't you know? That stupid question that I have always regretted by myself until now. Why do I just ask, go to him, tell him what's in your heart. I always push myself like that, but I'm scared. I'm afraid if you turn me down and feel uncomfortable and then walk away."

Kelvin sighed again and smiled back at the corner of his lips as if laughing at himself. "I feel like I'm punishing every opportunity with waiting and in the end you're just smiling for me. Then I went back no matter if I had to keep that feeling alone again."

Lusia stared fixedly at the two beads of Kelvin's eyes which were currently staring at him with a gaze full of sadness. It was obvious how Kelvin endured all that pain when he said it all. It was as if he was struggling with all his might to hide the wound in his heart behind the calmness and smile he was showing at this moment.

"Kelvin, thank you. Thank you for all the kindness and feelings you have for me. You're a good man and all this time I've been praying for you, hoping you'll meet a woman who can always understand you and make you happy. I'm sorry if.." said Lucia held back by Kelvin's remarks.

"Goodbye.." said Kelvin.

"I express my feelings not meant to shake your heart, of course I know what answer you will give. Therefore, good-bye.." he continued.

Revealing the word love and saying goodbye at the same time makes Kelvin feel if he really is a sad bad guy. However, he would never be able to completely let go of all his feelings before revealing them, which was the reason why he had met Lucia. After expressing his feelings directly, then he could really let Lucy go with all his heart without feeling left behind.

Giving up does not mean giving up, but realizing that there are things that cannot be forced. His feelings for Lucia were not a mistake, but rather a memory that made him feel if he was a man who had a sincere heart.

Kelvin poured the wine back into the glass and raised it to a toast. "Today I say to you 'Goodbye' for my feelings."

Lucia raised her glass and smiled. That smile right now no longer felt like a wound to Kelvin. "Now I can welcome that smile again with a happy heart" Kelvin said.

Lucia thanked Kelvin for everything he had done and given. He hopes that he and Kelvin can re-establish a good relationship like they used to once again after they have completed all the feelings that have been held back so far.

Kelvin said he would go abroad for a long time because of a work project that he had to take care of himself. That way he hopes Lucia can keep working comfortably at the Cafe after this.

In the middle of the conversation Kelvin cell phone continues to ring. He only peeked briefly at the incoming message, even he ignored the incoming call as if he did not want to answer at all and did not care about anyone who was calling him at this moment.

Lucia asks Kelvin to answer the call because he doesn't want to just because Kelvin did that. Even though Kelvin is going abroad, that doesn't mean they won't see each other again

"I will go there now because I want to meet, please ask him to wait." Kelvin replied in a call and then turned it off.

Kelvin was forced to end his meeting with Lucia after receiving a call.

Kelvin apologized for not being able to drive Lucia home. Lucia doesn't mind that. Lucia said because Rayn was waiting for her downstairs at the moment.

"So you come with him, if so go first, I'll finish the payment. No need to wait for me because he must have been waiting for you" Kelvin said.

Lucia leaves and leaves Kelvin. He approached Rayn who was seen sitting down alone waiting for him.

Seeing the arrival of Lucia who walked towards him made Rayn's countenance change. Rayn immediately grabbed onto the body of Lucia who had just stood right in front of her.

Rayn immediately hugged him, Lucia standing while Rayn was still sitting making Lucia unable to move as Rayn wrapped her hands around her hips and leaned her head against Lucia's stomach spoiled.

"Rayn.." call Lucia shrivelled who was astonished at Rayn's sudden attitude.

"Lusia." call Rayn Iirih. "Did you know? If it wasn't greed that moved the world, but jealousy. And I don't want my world with you to be ruined because of that stupid jealousy" Rayn said and hugged Lucia even tighter.

"Rayn... Did something happen ?" ask the incomprehensible Lucia.

"I'm sorry Lucia. I trust you but I'm waiting here with anxious feelings, I'm very nervous. I'm sorry" he continued

Lucia smiled "I like it, I like it Rayn a lot" Lucia said.

Rayn let go of his embrace, slowly she stood up from her seat. Rayn stared at the two beads of Lucia's eyes that radiated like diamonds with such a beautiful smile. But in contrast to Rayn's gaze that was so sad to hear the words spoken by Lucia.

"You like it. " asked Rayn hesitantly.

"The jealousy you think is stupid, I like it. Because it means you love me so much, you love me more than I love you" explained Lucia.

Rayn breathed a sigh of relief, she almost mistook Lucia's words. "Eemmm" muttered Rayn smiling with a full face. "You're right, I love you so much, Lucia" he said, clutching both of Lucia's cheeks and gently tucking at Lusia's ranum lips.

Kelvin who was about to leave the second floor stopped his footsteps. He looked towards Rayn and Lucia from the top floor behind the glass that showed what was happening down there.

Kelvin again remembered Dave's last words spoken to him. "There is a time when a person will feel if he is valuable when he is needed and becomes valuable to others. That's what Kak Lucia feels with her and you never do, making her feel valuable because she's needed."

"Therefore, I don't think you will be able to shake him, neither the man nor Lucy's brother. Let go, that's the best way. Do not let you regret it for blocking the happiness of your loved ones."

Kelvin unwittingly breaks down a smile after remembering all the words Dave said to him "That boy. How can I let myself be lectured by him" he said to himself.

"Letting go is better than sticking with coercion but full of misery for both" Dave's message to Kelvin said at the time.

.

.

*** to Be Continued ***