Mr. Hephephobias

CHAPTER 121 - The Color of My Life

Inside the hotel, Lusia sat side by side with her mother staring at the glittering beauty of Quebec City at night. Lucia clasped her hands while leaning her head against her mother's shoulder. Lucia was already unable to hold back her unstoppable tears even as she just started to open her voice expressing her feelings in front of her mother.

In front of the woman who was already pregnant and raised him lovingly, Lucia cried. "Mother, do I deserve this happiness?" ask her to the mother with a soft tone of voice.

Everyone who knew Lucia also knew, if the marriage had been removed from his life plan. All this time, it never crossed the mind of Lucia if she was going to get married. Let alone for a marriage that became the symbol of the end of a search for a companion of life, the thought of dating a man alone he did not dare. Lucia tries to brush off all the feelings of envy that often come every time she sees the intimacy of other couples.

Yes, marriage is a wishful thinking that is further and further away from his life. Being born as an ordinary woman with all the shortcomings is also a reason that makes her give up. However, the biggest reason is the determination that he has made his life purpose, which is a promise where he will not leave his small family.

Lucia has only one purpose in life, which is to make her family happy without thinking about debt. The happiness of his grandmother, mother and brother Lucas is his happiness. That way, he no longer needs to find another happiness. That was what he had been thinking all along, yet it seemed like fate gave him a path with a different line.

"Mother, I don't think I need to find love or fall in love for the rest of my life. I'll never have that feeling. I just need to survive to live and pursue my dream of making you all happy. Sometimes I feel like my life has no color at all. The days that I go through day after day all feel the same. Yesterday, today and tomorrow, everything always ends the same. But even so, I continue to try to survive and will survive with my life goals" said Lucia.

Lucia bowed for a moment, then looked back at her mother. "But Mother.." continued Lucia and then restrained.

"Everything started different when I knew him. I started to have a smile for different reasons, I was crying not because I usually cry. I had concerns for different people and I began to have happiness despite just the simple things he gave me and slowly, I started to have other colors in my life."

"Every new color that he creates has made me fall asleep. The more I spent time with him, the more selfish I started to become. I started thinking about myself and momentarily forgot about you. I couldn't control myself, I became more greedy and broke my promise. Even I began to think of something that was contrary to my life's purpose, a mind in which I too had the right to teach and earn my own happiness."

Hearing his daughter's words, made Lucy's mother's heart feel guilty and she could not hold back her tears. He hugged Lucia with tears breaking. "I'm sorry mommy son, has become a burden on your life, you can only be troublesome" he said.

Lucy's mother hugged her daughter even tighter. "Until this moment I can't give you anything. When girls your age go out on dates you choose to shut yourself down and hold back so you can continue working for our families. It's all mom's fault, it's all your mother's fault son, I'm sorry mother" she said in tears.

Lucia returned the mother's embrace with a tighter embrace, her crying also broke. Behind the room, Rayn stood staring at the two. Rayn's heart was also sliced to hear and see him, for a moment he felt jealous of Lucia who still had the opportunity to pour out her heart to her mother, different from her.

Long enough Rayn stood there watching them until finally Lucia accidentally saw Rayn's presence. Rayn's mother who also saw Rayn's presence immediately asked Lucia to see Rayn. Lucia got up from her seat and went to Rayn after wiping away her tears.

Rayn threw a warm smile towards Lucia who was walking towards her. Seeing the woman he loved now standing in front of him with eyes moist to make Rayn feel the sadness. He then wiped the remaining tears that were still wetting Lucia's cheeks.

"Are you feeling better now?" ask him to Lucia.

Lucia nodded slowly and smiled. "What are you here for? I'm sorry, you had to move rooms because of my mother and sister" Lucia said.

"Why are you apologizing, I did prepare it for them. And.. about the reason why I came here, just because someone was left behind" Rayn replied.

"lost? Is there any of your stuff left behind? What is it, I help you take it" said Lucia about to step away towards the room previously occupied by Rayn.

"Energy me.." Rayn replied briefly as she held onto Lucia's arm.

"En...ner..gi...your?" Lucia looked puzzled by Rayn's reply.

Amidst the confusion of Lucia, Lucia's mother came out and approached them. "You want to take him for a walk?" ask Ms. Lucia who better understands the meaning of Rayn's words.

Both of them answered with different answers. Rayn nodded saying yes, while Lucia shook her head answering no. Lucia's mother chuckled at the funny reaction of the two. "Go away.." continued Lucia's mother.

Hearing that, Rayn immediately broke down a big smile and held onto Lucia's hand. He bent his body to Lucy's mother to say goodbye to take Lucia to go for a walk out of the hotel.

"Wear your coat, we'll go breathe fresh air for a moment" Rayn's orders stared at Lucia.

Lucia could only follow Rayn's orders even though she still looked puzzled. He took the coat and went out with Rayn.

Lucia and Rayn walk around the hotel and start having small chats. Lucia asks Rayn when and how she can get her mother's blessing without her knowledge.

Rayn gladly told him everything, no one wanted and would hide from the woman who would be together as his wife.

With a smile, Rayn re-imagined how Lucia's mother warmly welcomed her, and even Lucia's mother immediately closed her restaurant after learning of her arrival.

"At that time, I felt a little guilty to your mother because she immediately closed her restaurant. Of course he did it because he knew of my phobia. Your mother treated me very well, as if she was with her own child. Your mother made me feel a mother's warm affection again."

"You know, there I do a lot of things, from the simple to the hardest. But I did it anyway to get your mother and grandmother's confessions. Ah... and also Lucas, I will not forget his services that tell me all what your mother and grandmother like. I'll get back to her soon, I really owe it to your sister" Rayn said with a smile.

Lucia narrowed her eyes after hearing Rayn's betrayal for doing it herself. "Do you want to show it to me? Are you happy now? Aisttt. I feel betrayed" he said.

Rayn laughed in response to Lucia's reaction. "Of course I'm very happy, even I'm very happy at the moment" Rayn said.

There was still a lot that Lucia wanted to hear from Ryan, but suddenly Rayn stopped her steps. Rayn asks if Lucia is tired because they have unwittingly walked far enough. Rayn looked around, she then asked Lucia to sit on the concrete guardrail of a park that was not too high.

Rayn grabs Lucia's hip and lifts her future wife's body to sit up there. He then spoke while standing in front of Lucia.

"You don't want to sit down, either?" lusia asked while patting the concrete gave Rayn the code to sit next to her.

Rayn shook her head, then wrapped her hands around Lucia's hips comfortably. "I'd rather stare at your face like this than sit there" Rayn said as she broke down a smile that made Lusia's heart pound.

"Wait, didn't you say if we still haven't got the blessing of 2 people, if one of them is my mother, then the other one....?" tanya Lucia hesitated.

Rayn was silent, she lowered her head for a moment then sighed. "He is my father" he replied.

"We're going to see my dad tomorrow, I've asked Mickey to set it up. Maybe it'll be harder for you to get the blessing. Are you ready to meet him?" ask Rayn.

"Why are you asking me the question I should have asked you Rayn?" ask Lucia.

Rayn just bowed down, Lucia already knew very well that the person who would have trouble facing Mr. Charles was Ryan himself. The distance between Rayn and her father, only they alone can reunite. Lucia hopes that Rayn's relationship with her father will be better.

Lucia also promised, whatever Rayn's father's decision, his feelings will never be lost and he will never give up or leave Rayn.

Lucia asks Rayn to look into her eyes, and she grabs Rayn's hand and holds it. With his shade, Ryan looked at the two beads of Lucia's eyes that were so soothing to his heart.

"From now on I won't leave you alone. All this time must have been heavy for you not to have someone to lean on. Look at me, I'll always be by your side Rayn. I will be the first one who will always be there for you. If something makes you sad, be sad in front of me. If you have any difficulties, complain to me. Never bear that burden alone again. Let's do it together, everyone, let's do it with Ryan" Lucia said, asking Rayn to agree.

Rayn simply fell silent looking at Lucia who was fixedly staring at her. Lusia's shady gaze seemed to imply peace for Rayn. Rayn tried to hold back her tears and could not say anything to answer Lucia. He sighed in disbelief if he could only look weak in front of the girl he loved.

With tears already blocked, Rayn grabbed onto Lucia's waist and hugged her suddenly tightly. He hid his sad face on Lucia's shoulder spoiled. Rayn did not want Lucia to see her crying and the tears that were held back fell dripping down Rayn's cheeks in Lucia's arms.

Lucia returned Rayn's embrace by hugging her, slowly patting Rayn on the shoulder to calm her down. "It's okay Rayn, everything will be fine" said Lucia.

"Your arms are always warm, your arms are the only place for me to lean on my exhausting day. I know it's selfish, but for me I'm just enough to have you, like now there's only enough of you" Rayn closed her eyes.

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*** to Be Continued ***