Sharing Love: Loving Myself And Herself

WHAT A MISTAKE

Khanza was still feeling hurt for Abizar, he decided to keep her pregnancy a secret and thought of a way to get her out of the marriage. Khanza did not want to be a second wife and he did not accept what he had obtained from this marriage.

The husband she loved so much, the family who loved her so much, it turned out that all the fakes were just lies. Thought Khanza.

It seems Abizar loves Mbak Farah very much considering how angry Abizar was at her last night, he could see flashes of anger directed at him for slapping his wife.

"What is the purpose of marrying me? If he still loves his wife and why lie to me, why not be honest from the beginning if he is married? He made me deepen my love, deepen my feelings for him! Giving me false hopes." muttered to himself venting his anger on an innocent bolster pillow, squeezing, hitting even a few times he threw it away and took it back.

Khanza recalled Abizar's words back at the restaurant,

"You may ask anything from me, but please don't ask me to leave Farah, I love her so much" the voice kept repeating in her memory, clearly recorded.

"If you love Farah then why did you marry me," Khanza yelled before Abizar.

Khanza in his heart could not digest what happened in his household, Abizar still loved his wife and they all lied to him. What kind of household is this," thought Khansa pitying the fate of her own household.

In the family room,

"Mas, what exactly happened?" Farah did not understand what was going on between Abizar and Khanza, why Khanza could be so angry that he could slap her. He also did not understand why they came home separately, not when they left they looked very happy. Think Farah.

"The commotion that occurred woke Wardah and also Santi, they both approached Farah who was now in the middle room, he stood staring questioningly at Abizar who was sitting on the sofa massaging his head.

"What's this about? why are you fussing in the middle of the night like this!"  Wanda looked at her son and first daughter-in-law.

"I don't know either, Mah! khanza came home angry.

"I've told Khanza that if you are my wife, you are my first wife and she is my second wife" Abizar's remarks shocked the three.

"Mas, what are you doing. Why did Mas say all that to Khanza without discussing it first with me. Mas see now, Khanza must be very angry with us, can mas fix Mas relationship again? mas and Khanza's relationship hasn't been that strong, Mas!"

"Until when should we keep this a secret, until when do we lie to it. I don't want to see you sad. I also feel guilty for Khanza for keeping this a secret from him."

"We can wait until Khanza is pregnant, by having a child your relationship will be stronger, khanza will never leave you, Mas," said Farah upset.

"Mas, isn't this the purpose of our marriage for Mas to have children, If this is what our goal will be?" Farah sat on the sofa and now she is the one massaging her head, all this time she endured the pain of sharing her husband with another woman so that her husband could have a child from another woman, she could not give offspring to her husband.

"What is this, Mom. Can't you be patient for a moment, Khanza is not yet pregnant, your household rift is clearly visible," said Farah still massaging her head.

What if Khanza doesn't accept all this, should I find another woman to be the mother of my husband's child.I think Farah is getting more and more raging, making her head throb. She really did not think her husband did not think before doing the action, she knew her husband loved himself and his honey very much. Revealing the truth so soon is not the right choice.

"Why do you blame Abizar, Khanza should have known all this" Wardah defended his son.

"She should be grateful, there is still a handsome rich man who wants to marry her, she is only from the lower class, poor people. Being a mistress in this house is not a pride even though she is a second wife," said Santi playing his nails he felt happy finally Khanza found out if he was only the second wife in the house, all this time he was annoyed to see Khanza acting as the mistress of the house while the position should have belonged to his son.

Abizar only realized if what was said by Farah was true, indeed their main purpose was originally married only to have a child from Khanza. However, over time his love for Khanza grew deeper even several times he felt that he loved Khanza more than Farah his first wife today.

Abizar constantly convinces himself that Farah is his first wife, his first love.

All return to their respective rooms, tonight Abizar sleeps in Farah's room. 

Farah was also still upset at her husband who acted without telling her.

Farah ignored and immediately pulled the blanket to sleep, Abizar went to sleep and pulled the blanket to his waist, he could not sleep, he continued to look at the ceiling of his room. Trying to digest what just happened, he made Khanza cry while in the restaurant while admitting his relationship with Farah, should he apologize for his lies, but he instead scolded Khanza. Abidzar was very agitated.

 As he gazed at Farah, who had fallen asleep, he grabbed her blanket and walked into Khanza's room trying to turn the doorknob whose door was locked, Abizar tried to call khanza. However, Khanza did not pick up his call. The message has not been read either. Abizar tried to knock on the door and called out Khanza's name. 

Khanza did not open the door for him several times. Abizar gave up and went back to sleep in the same bed as Farah.

It seemed that there was less, during these 2 months he slept while hugging Khanza, making it difficult for him to fall asleep.

When with Farah even if they reasoned out of the city together, Abizar could not sleep even though there was Farah in his arms.

Her heart ached again when she heard a knock from the door if her husband apologized and asked her to open the door.

Khanza tried to cover his ears with a blanket trying to forget everything and tried to sleep.

In the morning at breakfast Khanza did not come out of his room, Farah tried to knock on the door of Khanza's room.

"Sir, we have breakfast first, yes! Ma'am has made breakfast for you" said Farah while continuing to knock on Khanza's door, no word from the room.

"How's it?" ask Wardah's mother when she sees Farah rejoining them at the dinner table.

"No answer, Mom!" said Farah worried.

Abizar could only wipe his face, he still regretted that last night had scolded Khanza, Farah had already explained why Khanza could be that angry at him and to the point of slapping him.

"I will try to persuade him" Abizar said, leaving the dining table and walking upstairs to their room, trying to knock on the door, "Khanza open the door. I want to talk to you" Abizar said, knocking on the door and trying to turn the doorknob. Long ago he persuaded Khanza from behind the door. However, the result was the same as he also did not get an answer.

Khanza in the room heard all that Abizar said. However, he remained lying on his bed and thinking about the fate of his household that had been broken into pieces.

"Does he still not open the door?" farah asked as soon as she saw Abizar walking back to the dining table.

Abizar just shook his head faintly.

"For what the hell did you persuade him. If he is hungry he will go out on his own and find food. Khanza is not a child that you have to take care of," said Santi furious, seeing the two of them who are very worried about Khanza..

"Well, the problem isn't that Khanza can feed himself, but here we are the ones at fault. We lied to him."

"At the beginning we agreed to lie to him, all this will happen. Sooner or later he'll find out so just let it go."

"What if he leaves this house," said Warda suddenly made Abizar who had wanted to eat stop his hand, save the spoon back on his plate. He never thought there was a chance Khanza could walk away from him.

"Yes just tell the security guard not to let it out of the gate, so I bothered," said Santi sewot then he chose to take bread and spread it with jam.

Abizar and Farah stared at each other, confirming what their two mothers had said.

Before leaving for the office while passing through the gate, Abizar rightly asked the security guard in the house to watch over Khanza and not let him out of the gate for a while.

During the day Farah knocked on Khanza's door again, offering him food.

"Khanza's. You know you're angry, but it's not good if you don't eat, eat first" Farah said, trying to persuade Khanza.

However, the result remains the same. Khanza didn't come out of the room, there was no telling from inside.

In the room, Khansa was still curled up in her bed, she had already missed her breakfast and lunch. The pain in his heart overcame his hunger ..

Khanza holds his stomach he remembers if in his stomach there is a fetus. Khanza wants out. However, his steps felt heavy to see the reality out there, the happiness he had been feeling was just a lie.

Khanza recalled that if he had a snack in his bag he immediately got up and checked it out. Sure enough there are some bread there and some bottled drinks that is the habit of Khanza, he always carries bread and bottled drinks in his bag.

Khanza took it and ate it and sat on the bed. Every now and then she stroked her stomach, her tears coming back. "What should I do now" Inner Khanza.

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Greetings from me 🙏 Author m anha.

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