Sharing Love: Loving Myself And Herself

Season 2: chapter 12

After Azriel took her medicine, they casually chatted until Farah had business, she got a call from her old friend who was in town and wanted to meet her.

"Khanza, I want to meet someone, we haven't seen you guys in a long time is it okay for me to stay here? Not long after I met him I came back."

"Yes, let's go. No papa, besides me and Lucia are here, Azriel is fine, too" Khanza said, forgetting about their debate last night, for all of them it has passed and need not be revealed again, they were like brothers who would fight and forget afterwards.

"Yes, I left first yes" said Farah taking her handbag and approaching Azriel and saying goodbye.

"Remember, if I haven't come back in the afternoon and you're already going home, call me yes, I'm afraid I've come here, you're not there," farah said again to make Khanza and Lucia who looked at him only nodded.

20 Minutes after Farah left, Khanza got a message if Aisyah was injured at school while doing sports.

"Azriel, your sister said she passed out at school, you don't have a mother?" khanza's words made Azriel also just nod.

"No papa, I take care of Aisha" replied Azriel.

"Yes already, Lucia titip Azriel huh. Aunty go first" said Khanza, who had walked towards the door, Lucia who only focused on her phone heard it just nodded and saw the mother of Azriel was already walking quickly out of the door of the room.

The two went back to silence, there was awkwardness between the two when they already knew what they felt if Lucia liked Azriel.

"Lucia, can you please give me the cake" said Azriel pointing to the cake box that was quite far away from her.

"Oh yes," said Lucia who immediately walked over and approached the box of cakes, he gave the box of cakes that had been on top of the nightstand was moved on the bed, placed next to Azriel.

Azriel opened the box, it turns out the appearance is different from the box cake he usually bought from Mentari. He began to taste one piece of the cake.

"Hmm really, it tastes good," he said then back to bite the cake by enjoying it. Lucia who saw that swallowed her saliva. Lucia also admitted that the cake was delicious and she still wanted to eat it. However, considering that the cake was made by Mentari, he felt the prestige to eat it again.

One cut out, Azriel took another.

"Don't you say you like this cake? Come eat." Azriel slightly advanced the box towards Lucia, prodding Lucia to taste it.

"No, I don't like cheap cakes, I'm not used to eating cheap cakes" explained Lucia who still insulted Mentari, and he promised his mother he would not do that in front of Azriel.

"You're wrong, it's not cheap, it's 250,000 boxes. This is a small box, but the price is good" said Azriel where in one box there are only 10 pieces of cake. Abidzar has eaten one piece, Lucia has eaten one piece as well and Azriel herself has tasted two pieces, remaining 6 pieces there.

"It remains to me that it is still cheap" said Lucia then she wanted a way back to her place. However, Azriel stopped him.

"Do you like me?" azriel asked, Lucia stopped and turned to look at Azriel, long after they were silent with gazes still meeting.

"I heard from dad last night if you like me, like me as a man not as a brother. Is that true?" azriel asked still looking at Lucia who was still standing in her place.

"Thank you for your love Lucia, but I'm sorry. I can't repay your love. I love other women."

"What other women are mentari?" guess Lucia.

"Yes, you're right. She is Mentari, I love her a lot and just like you, I loved her a long time ago too. However, I dare not express my feelings and I will express them as soon as I recover. So, please remove that feeling of love for me, because it is the wrong love, we should not love each other because we are brothers, for me you are my sister just like Aisha."

"Sister? Nah! We're not brothers, we have nothing to do so it's perfectly fine if I love you."

"Yes I know, biologically we don't have any relationship, but we have the same mother, you call Farah's mother your mother and I also call Farah's mother my mother, we have the same mother Farah's mother. Isn't that enough to say we're brothers? You're my little sister and you don't deserve to put love in your heart for me."

"Am I wrong if I love you? I can't help myself, I can't choose whoever I love because my heart chooses who it belongs to."

"No, Lucia. Your heart is yours, you have to control it and before it's too late you have to ask your heart to stop liking me, stop loving me because love is unrequited. You won't be happy with that love, but it will hurt you."

"I don't care if love hurts me or brings me happiness, but all I know is that I love you and want to live with you, anyway why can't you repay my love we don't have a brotherly relationship that won't allow us to be together."

"Yes, I know about it, but I love another woman, Lucia. I also want to be with that woman, sorry I really can't repay your love. So from now on stop hoping that love is reciprocated, I don't want to hurt you."

"You've hurt me!" lucia snapped with teary eyes, she could not accept Azriel's rejection, she loved him and would love him forever, would not try to take away the love. However, he will further cultivate it.

"No, Lucia. Soon we'll be graduating from college and I'm planning to apply for Mentari to be my wife. So, don't do anything that can hurt yourself, my decision is unanimous and inviolable. Whatever the reason is."

Hearing the words married and wife, all that makes Lucia very shocked, he had thought that if they were only going to be in a relationship so he could still have a chance to destroy their relationship and make Azriel his, Lucia shook her head that he could not let them get married, it is the one who should marry Azriel instead of Mentari.

"No, Azriel. Don't do that, you already know I love you can't you try to love me too? Please try. You won't know if you love me or not, if you don't try to open your heart to me, you don't rule out the possibility that I will mean more to you than Mentari, you may just be amazed at her, not love."

"No, Lucia. This feeling is a long time ago and this feeling I have felt since we first met, Mentari is my first love and my love to date. Mantari will be my companion" said Azriel.

"No, I disagree!" rejecting Lucia with teary eyes, he continued to shake his head insisting that he did not accept what Azriel had made.

"Agree it or not I don't care at all, if you don't agree I'll stay with Mentari. I'm warning you to stop hurting yourself by continuing to maintain that feeling, take that feeling out of your heart and give your love to another man."

"You're evil! You're evil! You are so evil! I will not let anyone have my love! Only you are the owner of my love and I will make sure you are with me. You agree or you won't be mine, not Mentari!" shouted Lucia who was feeling annoyed. He turned and ran from the room, Azriel called Lucia. However, the girl had already passed away from there crying.

There is guilt in Azriel's heart seeing Lucia's condition. All this happened just out of love for him. However, he realized it was better, faster to hurt him better than his love deepened for him, if it happened his pain would also be more pronounced.

Lucia hastily moved away from Azriel's room, running aimlessly until the parking lot of a car drove towards her.