Sharing Love: Loving Myself And Herself

A smile in a cry

"On the morning of the commotion in the bathroom, Khanza, Azil and Aisyah were in the bathroom, they were taking a bath together. Khanza filled the Bathtub and gave a fragrance, He brought Aisyah to soak with him. Aziel also took a soak and always wanted to give shampoo to his sister's head. However, Khanza did not allow fear if Aziel hit Aisha's eyes.

"No Mama, Ziel will slowly give shampoo to Adek," persuaded Aziel who really wanted to give shampoo to Aisyah.

"Aziel used his own shampoo, adek let Mama who loves shampoo. later hit his eyes adek 'kan kasian."

"No Mama, Ziel is slow." Chuckle and keep pointing at the shampoo.

"Ziel is a good boy yes, nurut tama mama," said Khanza gave shampoo to Azriel who has since asked to appoint their baby shampoo.

"Mama, it doesn't hurt in the eyes. Shampoo like to enter in the eyes of Aziel does not really hurt," he explained with an expression made as blank as possible, making Khanza could not bear to grant his son's request.

Khanza saw Aisyah who looked so happy playing water.

"Yes, but slow down?" he said, bringing Aisyah closer to her brother.

Khanza only saw Aziel giving shampoo to Aisyah's head by continuing to keep her baby from moving too much.

Sometimes he wiped the shampoo foam that approached the eyes of his little princess.

Aziel happily rubbed the shampoo until it froth.

"Yes, Ziel. We rinse." Just now Khanza said to rinse him Aziel immediately took the dipper beside him and doused his sister's head.

"Aziel," Pekik Khanza when he saw what his son was doing, he quickly rubbed Aisyah's face which looked hard to breathe.

"It's okay, Mama. Papa also likes to water Ziel if using shampoo," said back to take water and flush to the head of Aisyah.

Aisha was crying because of what Aziel did.

Khanza stood up and tried to calm his daughter.

"Yes, honey. Aziel has grown up Adek Aisyah is still a child still shocked if watered like that, do not repeat again yes! pity her sister" said Khanza take a towel and clean Aisyah's face.

" Ziel took a shower himself? Mama bathein Aisyah, love her adenya," Khanza said trying to advise her son.

Aziel finally nodded and felt guilty for seeing his sister who was now crying because of her actions.

"Ziel is naughty Mama?" asked Aziel after finishing the bath and wearing a towel standing next to Khanza who also wore a towel as well as Aisyah who had been silent in Khanza's arms.

"No, my dear, Aziel's still a child so we don't know if there is Ayesha yet to be watered like that, so Ziel learned yes from mistakes, there are things we can't do.

While it's true that if it hurts others we can't do it either, Aziel understands what Mama means?"

"Yes ma, Ziel understands."

"This is just a smart mom's kid." They went out of the bathroom, Khanza put Aisyah on the bed and asked Aziel to take care of her, her daughter was already moving a lot. He could crawl a little.

"Aziel keep cool first yes, Mama want to wear clothes," said Khanza left them and wear his clothes, Aziel really be a good brother to take care of his sister.

Khanza then wears clothes on Aziel.

"Well, Mama's son is already big huh? I was smart to look after Adek," said Khanza kissed the back of his son's hand.

"Mama, is Papa naughty? Papa make Mama cry?" asked Aziel looking fixedly at his mother

"No, I'm not naughty."

"Why do you like crying?"

Khanza stopped dressing Aziel, not expecting her son to see her. He tried to hide his tears from his son.

"That's a happy tear dear, because Aziel and Ade Aisyah are there to accompany Mama," he said again lying.

"Did Mama miss Papa as much as Aziel?" ask again.

"Aziel misses Papa huh?" tanya Khanza looked at her son and rubbed her hair.

"Yes," Aziel nodded with trembling lips and teary eyes, her son longed for his Papa for almost a week that they had not met either in person or through a video call.

"We help Aisyah's sister wear her shirt, we call Papa, ", Khanza said, diverting their conversation.

They left the room laughing, laughing,

Aziel continued to try to reach Aisyah who was in Khanza's arms to make the baby laugh at her brother's behavior.

"Sorry, Mom. Outside there ...," the aunt stopped her speech and looked at Aziel.

Khanza understood that Bibi meant Abizar.

"Aziel played with Auntie first!" Khanza then walked towards the window, he frowned when he saw not only Abizar coming but also his Warda-in-law.

Khanza called the security guard to open the gate, let them in.

Khanza did not want to meet Abizar. However, he could not close the door for Warda who was still his father-in-law, you could say Warda as well as his parents.

The guards opened the gate and let them in.

"Thank you, sir." said Abizar then they got back in the car and drove the car through the gate.

"It's impossible for Khanza to let Mama outside" said Warda who knew what her daughter-in-law was like.

Khanza also walked up to them, holding Aisyah.

Aisha who saw Abizar was very happy and wanted to be carried by her father.

"Be with the kids, there's something I want to talk about" Khanza told Abizar.

Abizar hugged his daughter tightly and kissed her, feeling very happy that Khanza finally reunited them.

After giving Aisyah Khanza back to her study, giving Abizar time to play along with them.

Khanza walked into her study and, seeing the divorce papers, convinced her to end her relationship.

"Maybe this is what we have to do not hurt each other" said khanza hugging the divorce papers. He leaned against the window glass looking down, he could see Abizar playing with his two children a line of smiles seen adorning his face.

"Ziel played with grandma first huh? Papa wants to meet with mama," said Abizar after a long time playing with them.

Aziel who was satisfied to play with his papa finally nodded and played together with Warda and his nanny Aunt.

Abizar took a breath before he knocked on Khanza's study.

Khanza, who heard a knock, came to the door and opened the door, believing it to be Abizar.

The sight they met they could still feel the same vibe in their hearts.

"Come on, brother," Khanza said, turning his eyes.

Abizar came in and closed the door, Khanza turned around and wanted to leave. However, Abizar held his hand.

"Khanza please forgive me. I really can't lose you" he said, staring at Khanza with teary eyes.

"Sorry, Brother. Looks like we're going to have to split up" Khanza said, shaking off a big hand and then heading to the sofa where they already have their divorce papers on the table.

Abizar walked slowly towards Khanza who was sitting on the sofa and his eyes were fixed on the brown map that was in front of them. His heart said it was the same letter his lawyer gave a few days ago.

Slowly Abizar sat down beside Khanza and massaged his forehead.

"What do you want to talk to me about?" abizar asked, his question coming out of his mouth with difficulty, he tried to master his voice that was almost difficult to remove Because the pain in his chest did not allow him to speak normally.

"Khanza thrust the envelope in front of Abidzar.

"Khanza I beg you not to be like this, we can still fix it." Abizar sat facing Khanza and pleaded.

"Does my brother still love me?" khanza looked into Abizar's eyes.

"Of course I love you so much!" he answered trying to hold back his tears.

"If you still love me, please let me go" he said. "I can't have this relationship, I want to be free and breathe a sigh of relief, I'm tired, brother. This always hurts me." Khanza held Abizar's hands together and held him tightly back in his eyes.

"Whatever you've done to me, I've forgiven. I sincerely accept everything, but I beg you to let me go. Let me seek my happiness. I really can't be happy next to you anymore, sister. I've been trying. But my heart cannot. Let alone to start a relationship again with my brother, meeting with my brother has hurt me. I beg you to understand" Khanza said with tears that had soaked his cheeks and continued to look deeply into Abizar's eyes.

Khanza's words left Abizar speechless, a drop of tears also falling on his cheek.

Khanza wiped it with a smile, trying to smile behind her tears. Behind his heart that felt slashed.

"Everytime I'll love you, brother, but I'm sorry I can't be with you anymore. I hope the kids can take my place. I'm sorry if I couldn't be a good wife to you all this time" erased her tears and kept smiling, looking up at her trying to hold back her tears. " I'm sorry, I've done so much wrong to my sister, I'm not a good mother to our children, but it's me, even though I've tried to be perfect still I can't, I'm so far from that word." Khanza took off her hand from her husband's hand.

Abizar held Khanza's hand. He did not want to let go of his wife.

"Sister, do you want to see me happy?" khanza asked in a voice that was getting harder and harder to let out.

"Abizar could not say anything He just lowered his head and nodded, his stuffing escaped, his back shook withstanding the sound of his sobbing, but the pain kept breaking through the defenses. Abizar completely forgot his identity as a man, he went down to the floor and knelt in the lap of Khanza.

Khanza pulled Abizar into his arms. Abizar hugged his wife tightly while still kneeling.

"If I can't be your wife, I can still be your friend, right, sister?" khanza asked on the sidelines of Isak.

Khanza took off her arms and asked her husband for an answer.

"Are you going to be happy if we split up?" ask Abizar to hold Khanza's hands.

Khanza nodded, nodding repeatedly, much like Aziel when asked and nodding.

"Well, if that's what makes you happy I'll let you go." Abizar sat down next to Khanza and took Khanza to his arms. This was probably his last hug before they parted.

"There are times when a person should stop loving if someone he loves is happier when he lets go."

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Greetings from me Author M Anha 🥰🤗

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