Sharing Love: Loving Myself And Herself

To Grandma's worry.

Khanza quickly wiped his tears, he did not want if grandma to worry if he saw her crying. 

"Did Grandma hear my crying voice," Inner Khanza felt worried, she completely forgot where she was now, she just spilled all the pain in her chest.

Abizar walked towards the door, hesitatingly opening the door. However, Before he turned to look at Khanza, Khanza smiled and nodded.

Slowly Abizar turned the doorknob and saw the worried face of Grandma behind the door, looking at him questioningly.

"What's wrong? What happened, why is Khanza crying?" ask grandma as soon as the door opens.

Abizar did not answer grandmother's question, he just opened the door wide so that grandmother could enter and get away from the way grandma.

"Khanza, what's wrong, dear? Does your stomach hurt?" ask grandma.

"No, Grandma. I don't know why I want to cry" replied Khanza.

"No, that's what it is, honey. Are you sure it's okay?"

"It's okay. I'm sorry for making Grandma worried" Khanza replied with a smile so that she wouldn't worry about him.

"Grandmother is very surprised when she hears your cry, which is in the mind of grandma something happens to the prospective grandchild. Maybe your baby's luggage, if you cry cry cry just don't hold back," said the grandmother brought Khanza into his arms.

Sure enough, hearing Grandma's words and feeling Grandma's warm embrace made the sobs begin to harden, she hugged the grandmother who had become her mother very tightly, the pain just continued to gnaw Khanza's body.

If time could be turned back, perhaps Khanza would not have accepted Abizar's proposal, even if he loved him so much, he would not have entered into this stifling life, the pain that really hurts her when she finds out the person she loves, the person she admires and has become her husband did it all to her.

Khanza is increasingly confused, now she has conceived the baby of her beloved and hated husband. Khanza is really a dilemma between wanting to get away from Abizar or having to stay with him with all his pain.

 Whether she should be a selfish mother who attaches importance to her pain and leaves, or a mother who relents and accepts all pain for the happiness of her child.

Grandma gently rubbed Khanza's back, "Cry if you want to cry, never hold back your cry, never fear being considered weak if you cry while it can make you feel calmer," she said.

Abizar was still standing in his place, leaning back and looking at his wife who looked so sick from her actions.

Maybe 1000 words of apology will not make Khanza feel better and will be able to treat the wounds he has scratched on Khanza. He could do nothing to relieve the pain, he did not want to lose any of them, his heart really loved them both.

Is Abizarlah here selfish? Yeah, it might be. He wants to have both his wives.

Is Farah selfish? Yeah, it might be. She wanted to make her husband happy without thinking about the feelings of other women who became her honey.

Is here the Khanza who is selfish? Yes, it is possible that Khanza wants to have a full husband, wants to find a father figure from his son. Is it wrong if Khanza does not want to share love?.

All these questions can not be answered, only time will answer them, whether their household will be able to survive or even lead to separation.

Whether Farah will be happy with Abizar or Khanza will be happy with Abizar and his son. Or maybe the three of them will be happy.

Slowly Khanza's sobs began to swallow and was not heard again. However, her tears were still spilling in Grandma's embrace.

"If you have a problem, you tell me the same grandma, who knows grandma can help you, grandma loves you more than anything in the world, son," said the grandmother whose voice had also begun to shake, and her voice began to shake, I could not bear to see her granddaughter's crying.

Khanza just nodded while tightening his arms.

"Grandmother, know and hear clearly your conversation. Grandma didn't think you'd have this wedding fate. Grandma will not interfere with your problems until you ask grandma yourself," inner grandmother.

****

Grandma who thought that during her life in the city and married, her grandson was happy with his new life, it turns out that what grandmother imagined was wrong, his favorite grandson was living in sadness. Grandma was really sick to know that reality, grandma was more and more unable to bear and worried when she heard the sound of Khanza's sobbing and decided to knock on the door.

****

"What's this?" asked the grandfather who suddenly appeared at the successful door surprised Abizar who was still standing beside the door pensively looking at his wife who was in the arms of the grandmother.

Abizar stroked his chest, exhaling softly while removing the opposite face from grandfather, connecting the look of his pajama face. 

"Khanza, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" asked the grandfather to walk in to approach his grandson who was still in the arms of the grandmother.

"Udah, he only misses his father and mother," said the grandmother did not want to muddy the atmosphere, he knows unfortunately he to Khanza grandfather more loving his grandson.

Grandpa sat next to Khanza, grandpa and grandma flanking his granddaughter. Khanza was in the middle of getting a swipe of affection from 2 people who loved him so much.

"You don't have to be sad, there are grandparents who always love you. Let your father and mother be calm, soon you will also become a mother, make your child happy by getting abundant love from his father and father. Don't let him lose the love of you two for even a second" said the grandfather of their advice.

That's how grandfather educates his children, loves them with all his heart, never a little grandfather makes his children feel if he does not love him until his children have a family. Maybe that's one of the reasons Grandpa's love is fully reciprocated by his children, although they have a family of children grandfather never forget if they were born, great from the affection of both parents.

Grandfather's words further incriminated Khanza to choose to separate from Abizar, the husband. The husband she loved so much, the husband who had given a sore wound in her heart.

Grandfather wiped away the affectionate tears that were still streaming down his grandson's cheeks.

"Don't cry, you look ugly when you cry. Grandpa doesn't like having bad grandchildren, all granddaughters are pretty-beautiful," joked the grandfather who made Khanza laugh while wiping his tears and splashing into grandfather's arms with a laugh that still sounded from his mouth.

"Khanza dear grandfather," said Khanza with a smile that never separated from his lips, grandfather stroked gently Khanza's back patting gently.

"You've cooked? Grandpa was hungry" said grandfather distract them from the sadness, grandfather could even see if grandma also smiled while wiping her tears.

"Udah dong, Cake!" answer Khanza.

They all headed to the dining table, Abizar approached Khanza who had difficulty standing up as his stomach grew bigger, extending his hand to help him affectionately.

Abizar walked over, embracing Khanza's shoulder, peeping at his wife's head.

Grandma could see that Abizar loved Khanza so much and vice versa, however, she could not understand why and why Khanza became his second wife.

"Is their love wrong? Was my grandson Khanza guilty and had ruined the happiness of his first wife from her husband," Inner grandmother kept paying attention to them.

Grandma was very afraid if it really happened.

"Hopefully Khanza wouldn't have hurt another woman's feelings by seizing her husband, if that's what happened to her own grandmother who would have separated them," inner grandmother who does not want her grandson to be a destroyer of people's households.

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