Sharing Love: Loving Myself And Herself
PERIH.
Khanza began to get used to the babble of the mother-in-law of her husband, until the words that were thrown he did not put it in the heart, whatever he said no longer meant to Khanza.
Khanza considers the last wind, the ravings of Santi, Farah's mama. He chose to lock himself in the room, watch his favorite Korean drama or watch a make up tutorial while practicing it.
Since Khanza was pregnant so much to put on makeup, she even asked Aqila to give her some new makeup.
"Keep insulting me, I don't feel guilty. It was you who put me in this position" Khanza murmured.
One message came in on his cell phone, though,
Abizar calls him if he's gonna be late tonight.
"Why call me, call me Farah, the one you love so much," Inner Khanza roughly kept her phone on the bed.
Although his heart ached saying that, but he had to get used to it, that was the reality.
As well as breakfast and lunch, Khanza also asked the housekeeper to deliver dinner to his room.
Not wanting this morning's incident to repeat itself when Santi's mother walked into her room and scolded her, Khansa chose to lock the door, after she had dinner.
Abizar had just come home at 10 pm and when he wanted to get into Khanza's room, his room was locked, several times Abizar knocked on him. But there's no answer.
"It looks like Khanza is asleep" he muttered, not getting a reply from the room.
Abizar then chooses to rest in Farah's room, he is very sultry and wants to clean his body immediately.
"Mas, is Khanza still mad at us?" asked Farah who was leaning inside her husband's field.
"It looks like he's still angry, I'm going to keep trying to persuade him" Abizar said, playing Farah's hair.
"This day Khanza keeps confining himself in his room."
"Did he skip lunch and dinner again?" abizar asked worriedly.
"No, Aunty escorted to her room" replied Farah looking up at her husband's face.
"Let it go, we do what it wants first" Abizar said, giving a kiss on Farah's forehead.
Some days Abizar kept coming home late, his company got a big tender, until he and some other employees had to overtime.
Just like the usual day Khanza always ate in the room and locked the door when Abizar came home, making Abizar always sleep in Farah's room.
Khanza intentionally did so he wanted to slowly throw his feelings on Abizar before he actually went in search of new happiness out there.
In Khanza's room, calling Aqila, it was only she where Khanza told her that her heart was back in pain when she learned that her husband was sleeping with another woman.
Khanza could not endure the pain of his heart, he would be calmer if he had shared his story with Aqila.
Luckily he had a friend like Aqila, Aqila who always understood Khanza's feelings, continued to entertain his best friend with various kinds of jokes.
Khanza switched his call to a video call showing the results of his makeup, that's Khanza's new activity when he was bored in the room, he learned to decorate his own face, see the tutorial from YouTube.
"Oh my goodness, Khanza you are so beautiful" said Aqila admiring the makeup of her best friend.
"Yes I also did not expect to be this beautiful, I used the products that you bought at that time," replied Khanza who also admired the results of her makeup.
"But not because of makeup, but like your cheeks are softer now, so you look very beautiful."
Khanza holds his cheek, he does feel if lately his weight is increasing.
"Well, I'm fat, yeah!" khanza took a mirror and looked at her cheeks.
"Aqila! It's been a month since we checked my contents, do we have to check it again?"
"Yes, yes Not strong, try to stand up," said Aqila asked the same show her stomach.
"Well, it looks like your stomach is starting to bulge, huh?"
Khanza lifted his shirt and saw his stomach, it was already visible even though it was not yet clear.
"Yes, if you count it from our last check, it's now 10 weeks of your fetal age."
"My stomach will soon grow, while I have no plans for how to get out of here."
"Are you really going? Think again, for the sake of your baby."
"Aqila! You don't know what it's like to be cheated like this, I really can't stand living in this house. Can't stand all this. Obviously I know now that Abi's sister is sleeping with another woman" Khanza said with tears in her eyes. "If I can choose, I want to go right now, but I don't know where to go" Khanza said.
"If you can't stand living there, you can stay here" said Aqila, who can understand Khanza's feelings.
"I can't possibly ruin your life. Staying with you means that you will also be dealing with Abi's brother and I don't want your life to suffer just because of me" Inner Khanza.
"Thank you Aqila, I'll try to find another way" Khanza said, trying to smile.
They kept talking until late at night.
"Yeah, you're definitely working tomorrow, right! We continue tomorrow night only" Khanza said, understanding that Aqila should be at the office tomorrow morning.
They also turned off the call.
"Why have I been so hungry lately, what is this with my baby," said Khanza looking for the fruits that aunt had prepared, "It's over," khanza said he saw that there were no fruits provided by Bibi in the fruit place.
Since she became pregnant, her appetite has increased.
Khanza slowly unlocked his room, looking left and right. "It seems like the house is already deserted," Inner Khanza walked into the kitchen looking for something she could eat.
Khanza opened the refrigerator and saw so many fruits there, he took some fruits and brought them to the dinner table.
"I'm kok kayak again steal food at home," Inner Khanza ate the fruit while looking in all directions afraid if the two rumpi mothers came.
Khanza ate one after another of the fruits he had taken, but his hunger was still felt. Suddenly he was eager to eat instant noodles, Khanza was looking for instant noodles in the storage cabinet, "Thank God it's still there," said Khanza glad he even kissed several times the package.
Khanza started cooking, adding some chicken and eggs. He again did very carefully, not wanting anyone to hear him.
The instant noodles made by Khanza were ready, he then brought it to the dining table. Inhaling a truly appetizing aroma.
Khanza pranced around cheering happily without making a sound.
"I can finally eat instant noodles again" said Khanza, whose lips only move without making a sound.
Khanza will sit down. Just as he was eating, Abizar came out of the room with Farah.
Farah hung spoiled on Abizar's arm while continuing to joke and they laughed.
Khanza who saw it all so hurt, This time his chest really hurt. Khanza tightly clenched his teeth to keep him from sobbing and tears that wanted to penetrate his defenses.
"Khanza" said Abizar, who had just realized Khanza was there and looked at them with a disappointed look.
Khanza ran to his room and locked the door.
"Khanza, open the door" Abizar said, trying to knock on Khanza's door.
Khanza sat on the floor leaning against the door, trying to smother his mouth with both hands.
He cried, again and again. As strong as he was, he convinced his heart to be strong and forgot his love for Abizar. He still felt pain, pain in his chest. Just crying and crying all she could do.
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