Sharing Love: Loving Myself And Herself

The Hard Choice

In the morning of a commotion at Khanza's residence, he forgot that this morning he had to go to court. He remembers when Abizar called him, told him he was already there and asked if he would come or only be represented by his lawyer.

"I'll come, brother. Soon again I was about to leave," said Khanza immediately turned off his phone and quickly ran to the bathroom. He stopped his steps again and turned to shout Aqila to feed Aziel, he had already made food for her. Aunt is guarding Aisyah in the park.

"Yes, just calm down. You just go, let me take care of Aziel," replied Aqila who also shouted at Khanza who was already on the 2nd floor.

Khanza quickly bathed and put on his clothes, for a moment he set his breath looking at his face in the mirror.

"I definitely can, this is the right decision. I won't regret it, I'm sure everything will be fine and it will be better if we part ways. Although I am no longer the wife of Abi, I can certainly raise my children. Abi's brother will remain their Papa.

Khanza held his chest back in pain, "All will be well, all will be well," Khanza recited his ultimate mantra to calm his day.

Exhaling his breath, he went to court, was ushered in by the driver, and left Aziel and Aisyah to his aunt and Aqila.

"I certainly can, all will be well," the mantra continued to be recited until he reached his destination to encourage himself.

Once in Khanza hesitated to go down his legs felt heavy to step into the building. "Am I really going to get divorced with Abizar's brother," his inner voice screamed inquiring. Yet again he answered his heart saying yes, yes, and, yes.

"Bismillah, I certainly can" he said before getting out of the car.

"Sir, you wait inside, afraid I will be long" Khanza told the driver.

"Yes, Mom. Hopefully the business of the mother is quickly finished," said the driver who delivered Khanza, the driver was also a witness to how difficult Khanza through his days.

"Thank you, sir. I hope so, sir." Khanza steadied his heart to come down and step surely into the building.

Khanza called Abizar asking where he was.

After getting a hint from Abizar Khanza was slowly approaching the room Abizar meant.

The closer to the room his heart grew tighter, his eyes feeling hot. As much as possible, Khanza again convinced his heart. "I can definitely, I'm strong, everything will be fine, all this will pass," continued to encourage himself.

Khanza let out a long sigh trying to regulate the rhythm of his rapidly beating heart, he could even hear the sound of his heartbeat.

Khanza stood long before the door and with trembling hands he opened the door.

All eyes were on him, Khanza awkwardly walked in and sat down on the chair that Abizar had granted.

"Sorry I'm late" he said awkwardly as to why they were all.

Once he entered, there were already a few people including Abizar and his lawyer, Khanza's heart was beating faster. Khanza did not understand what they were going to do there, which he knew was a requirement of his divorce process.

Mediation is ongoing. However, it did not produce good results. Mediation was done long enough, Abizar again persuaded Khanza to convince him to cancel his intention to divorce. However, Khanza still refused and still wanted to continue their divorce.

With the help of his lawyer, all is finally done and their decision will still be split, the divorce trial will continue.

When he finished, Khanza walked out of the room to his car. Abizar chased after him and stopped him.

"Khanza wait," blocked his hand.

"What did you mean by that brother? Have we not agreed to separate without complicating our divorce? Then what did you do?"

"Khanza, is there really no hope anymore to improve our household?"

"No. I've set my heart, brother. Khanza please do not make Khanza's heart more tormented with all this. If Big Brother thinks I'm happy with this divorce, the answer is no, I don't want it either, but I can't afford to live our household, I can't keep going with all this. I'm sick, Brother. My heart hurts knowing if …." Khanza stopped his speech, he could not continue his words.

"Know if what?" asked Abizar to know what he was saying.

"Knowing if you love another woman. Khanza is aware, Brother. Know if I'm the one between you two so I'm the one who has to go. Honest brother Khazan, Brother married Khazan just because he wanted a child, right, already there! Not just one but two." Raise two fingers. "Khazan think it's enough, brother already got it. Even if we split up I won't forbid brother from meeting them, that's our deal, right? So please price our agreement to part ways and not complicate it" Khanza said, pushing Abizar's chest not to get in his way.

Khanza ran to his car and was very disappointed with what Abizar was doing inside the mediation room. Abizar still wants to keep their marriage making some debate happen inside the space.

"Khanza please! Can we talk to you for a second?" hold the door when Khanza wants to close it.

"Always, Brother. What else should we talk about? It's all clear, right, I want to part with Big Brother. Brother wants to meet up with the kids anytime, I don't mind."

"Khanza, listen to me."

Abizar could not say anything more, he then let go of the car door and let Khazan close the door and just saw the car carrying Khanza to go there.

The relationship that had been improving is now back to heating up.

When he got home before getting off the car Khanza tried to catch his breath and put on a little thin makeup, not wanting to make the others feel sorry for him, he could see if aunt and Aqila were playing in the park.

After feeling calmer, he approached them and sat down beside Aqila.

"How's it?" ask Aqila.

"We'll meet in two weeks, to read the lawsuit."

"Everything's okay, right?" aqila asked who knew that Khanza was trying to cover up her grief.

"All right, I just want things to go by quickly and not think about it anymore."

Aqila clasping Khanza's hand gave strength in her grasp.

"I will not be afraid, as long as you are with me, you are my best friend and brother" Khanza said, returning Aqila's hand.

"I will be beside you at any time, accompanying you both joy and sorrow."

They switched their talks to another one, Khanza did not want to discuss the divorce issue.

Soon Abizar came and joined them.

Aqila who understood that Abizar wanted to talk to Khanza chose to invite Aziel into the house.

Aziel wanted to be with Papa, "Aziel sat beside his father.

"Yes, I'm the same Ayesha, we swim, yes, baby," said Aqila holding Aisyah in.

"swimming? Ziel also wanted to swim with Auntie," cried Aziel running after Aqila.

"What else is it, brother?" Khanza massaged his temple while propping his hands up on the table.

"I'm sorry about that, I just wish that our marriage could be maintained. That's all."

"Sister, don't repeat the same sentence, thousands of times you repeat it a thousand times my answer remains the same, I don't want to continue our relationship. Please understand! The more Brother repeats the words the more it hurts me, the more it makes me doubt." Khanza covered his face with both hands.

"All right, now I won't say it again. I will no longer wish that we could unite and repair our household. Even if you're not my wife anymore, you want to be my sister or my best friend?" tanya Abizar pulled Khanza's hand and grabbed it.

Khanza nodded in agreement to Abizar's request.

"All right, let's take care of this divorce so it can be over quickly."

"One more thing you should know, if I love you so much and why I married you because I like you. Not because I want a child from you. I've been married to Farah for a long time, if it were just because my son got married again I wouldn't have waited that long. I already liked you the first time we met."

"Sister loves me or Miss Farah? I still vividly remember the first time you admitted your relationship with Mbah Farah, if you love both of us, but that's not the answer I want, I want you to choose?!

"I love you, but I can't leave Farah and don't ask why."

"I love you too, brother. Love you so much, but I don't want to share" Khanza said standing up and leaving Abizar, who was still sitting on a park bench.

Days kept changing days, their trial went through very smoothly. Nothing complicates them, though, the decision of the two of them has been unanimous in the eyes of the court if they want to separate on the grounds that there is no longer a match between them and the status of Khanza who became a second wife also facilitates their divorce.

All they went through smoothly until arriving at the last hearing to be held 15 days into the future, namely the decision trial.

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Thank you for reading 🙏

Greetings from me Author M Anha 🥰🤗

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