Sharing Love: Loving Myself And Herself

Trying to accept each other.

"Are you keeping something from Grandma?" Grandma asked Khanza who was waiting for an answer from Aqila.

Khanza reflexively turned off his call, turned around and looked at the surprised grandmother.

"Grandmother, since when is that?" Khanza asked while stroking his chest.

"Since you've been here. Khanza, answer Grandma's question. Did something happen to your house? With your relationship with your husband?" Ask grandma for the second time.

The grandmother who was preparing food for the workers along with the other mothers, saw Khanza as if he was away from the others and was receiving a call. Grandma who was curious to see the movements of her granddaughter. 

"Why did the boy stay away from receiving his phone, did anything matter. Whether she was discussing the matter of her household, it seemed that her chatter did not want to be heard by others," inner grandmother slowly approached and heard all that Khanza was talking about. Grandma could have caught their conversation, if they were talking about Khanza's marriage.

"If you have a problem with Abizar, you can tell grandma the same story, who knows if grandma can help solve all your problems."

"No, I have no problem with Abi's sister" replied Khanza.

Grandma doesn't talk. However, looking at Khanza with a gaze that makes Khanza heart could not bear to lie with his grandmother. The person who had been taking care of him since the departure of his parents.

"Yes, Grandma. Khanza kept something from Grandma a secret" he replied later.

Grandma still kept staring at her grandson.

"Actually, Abi had another wife besides Khanza, Nek. Abi's sister married him before marrying me" Khanza said in tears.

Grandma pulled Khanza's hand so they could sit down and find a good position for them to talk to.

"How do you feel about your husband?" Ask grandma.

"I love her very much, Grandma. I don't know why this love is so great to her, even after knowing that if Abi's brother has married another woman and hurt my feelings, has betrayed my trust, Khanza still loves her."

"How did his first wife behave to you?" Grandma wanted to find out more.

"His name is Farah, Madam Farah is very good with me, Grandma. At first Brother Abi introduced him as his cousin's brother, I've even considered him like his own brother."

"Do you deliberately seduce people's husbands or do you not know if your husbands are married? Grandma did you mean your husband kept his first marriage a secret?"

"Grandmother for whatever sake, I never intended to damage people's households, I really don't know if Abi's sister is married, nor did she tell me. Not only me, Nek, the people in the office also no one knows if Abi's brother is married, but Khanza was the first to approach him. But, it's all Khanza does because I think Abi's brother has no wife and is not married" Khanza explained.

"When she said she wanted to marry you, did she not say that she was married?"

"No, not even the first two months Khanza lived with his first wife, Khanza did not know Nek, if he was the first wife brother Abi, we live like brothers. There is not the slightest suspicion in Khanza's heart if Farah's mother was Abi's first wife. It's not just Abi's sister, son. Farah's brother, Khanza's father-in-law, and Farah's mother, all kept her first marriage a secret."

"But why did they keep all that from you?"

"Said Abi, at first he wanted to tell me everything Nek, but because I said that if I didn't want to be pitted he decided to keep it a secret and it was all agreed upon by Sister Farah," Khanza. 

Grandma sighed hearing Khanza's story. He was still unable to digest what the real problem was, who was wrong here!"

"Did he get permission from his first wife to remarry?" Ask grandma.

"Yes, Grandma. In fact, said Mbak Farah during this time he had often sought a wife for Abi's brother, but to Abi always refused. However, after getting to know Khanza Kak Abi agreed to remarry." Khanza paused his sentence.

"When Abi asked permission to marry me, Farah immediately agreed." Further.

"But why would she want her husband to marry again?"

"Bak Farah can't have children, Grandma. The doctor has lifted the body. Farah's mother wants Abi's brother to have children even though it is not from his womb. Farah's mother must love you very much Abi's sister," lirih Khanza rubbed her stomach.

Grandma again sighed deeply, "She gave up her happiness to make her husband happy" she looked at Abizar.

"He loves me, Grandma. But he also loves Farah. He loves me and himself." Khanza also looked at her husband.

"Farah loves your husband so much, you love him so much and your husband loves you both, what is it like? In the end you'll all hurt each other." Sighing heavily.

"Yes, that's it, Grandma." He rested his head on Grandma's shoulder.

"Grandmother is sure, the first wife must also feel pain as you feel, she can hold it for the sake of the happiness of her loved ones. How's yours?" Brushing his grandson's hair.

"I mean grandma?" Tanya Khanza looked at Grandma.

"There are some polygamy that succeed and live happily, there are also those who give up and choose to separate. It is not only the feelings of those who are victims, the ones who suffer more are their children. The children lost the affection they had gained from both. Not to mention if both parents find a new partner, they will increasingly feel the impact of the separation."

"If both women are truly sincere in sharing and her husband is able to do justice as fair as possible. Maybe it's better." Continue grandma.

"Sister Abi promised it would be fair if I accepted this marriage."

Grandma turned to look at Khanza, looking at her already teary-eyed granddaughter.

"What does your heart say?"

"I want to stay with Abi's sister, I love her, I'm also afraid that I can't make my son happy by keeping him away from his father. Khanza wasn't sure we could both live happily without Abi's brother, but Khanza couldn't stand the pain of knowing Abi's brother was with Farah's sister."

"Grandma doesn't know what it's like to be polygamous, but grandma knows what it's like to love. Grandma loves your grandfather so much, Grandma loves your children so much, so love all of you. Whatever Grandma's gonna do for you. Seeing you guys happy."

"Does Khanza have to try to accept all this, Grandma?"

Grandma took Khanza's hand, stroked her with affection.

"Have you come back here to avoid this marriage?"

"Yes, Grandma. I decided to part with Abi's sister. Khanza has asked Abi's brother to divorce me, but he won't. Even Abi's brother said, even to death he wouldn't divorce me, because he loved me so much. Abi's brother will stay here waiting for Khanza until he really wants to come with him back to town."

"That can already prove that he loves you very much, advice grandma try to accept what has happened. Try to live it first, try to be sincere. Don't think of things that can hurt you, think of the happiness you can get and the thoughts of the baby in your womb."

Khanza tried to digest what Grandma said, all this time he was still in doubt about his decision.

"Khanza Everyone has their own problems, their own trials, it all depends on how we deal with them. Polygamy, sharing your husband with another woman is very painful, but try to think from the other side, you have a husband who loves you very much that can give you comfort can make the people around you happy, especially for you. Look, everyone is very happy with the kindness of his heart. Try to accept and enjoy what you can enjoy don't think too much about what makes you sad."

"Does Khanza have to go back with Abi's sister?"

"Go back, try to reach your happiness with her, if you really have given up so much come to Grandma. If that's the case, then your happiness isn't with her, it might be somewhere else."

"Thank you, Grandma. Khanza will try to take it for the sake of this baby, "Swipe his belly. "Follow what Khanza's heart wants. I'll try to sincerely share with Mommy Farah." Tekad Khanza's.

"Grandmother pray that you three may be happy in this household, with your children."

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