Sharing Love: Loving Myself And Herself
Love Khanza
When Aqila left for Kanza's office just to spend time in her room, she looked through her photos together with Abizar, one by one the photos were deleted. Khanza wants to try to forget his love for Abizar.
"Will I forget him, why does this heart always miss him even though he has been blatantly lying and hurting me," Khanza saw one of the photos where Abizar was holding him.
Khansa's love is indeed strange, he falls in love with Abizar without knowing who Abizar is, what he is like, what his nature is like. Khanza even fell in love at first sight without knowing what his name was and waited for him for years without certainty. But strangely his love grew in his heart even bigger, deeper even after being hurt.
Khanza's love is indeed very sincere to Abizar, the love is either a blessing or a curse for him.
Love can make a person happy. Not with Khanza. His love made him suffer greatly.
Khanza only hoped that the fruits of his love from Abizar could give him happiness, that was the only hope of love that ever rested in his heart and would probably remain eternal in his heart.
Love does not always have to be. Is that what he is now experiencing, his love for another woman, his love for her clapping one hand, is that Khanza's Love? Only time can answer.
Khanza swiped the last photo on his phone, it was a photo of his marriage to Abizar. There he looked very happy, they both smiled looking at the camera, Khanza still clearly remembered he took the photo himself after Abizar tied it with a Kabul ijab. Khanza deliberately took the picture in order to become a memento of their love.
With a shaking hand Khanza pressed the button to remove the photo. The last photo memories are gone.
"Goodbye Abi. I love you, but I can't stand this pain, may you be happy with Sister Farah, may Farah please you with her love. Khanza smiled bitterly in light of his love journey with Abizar. The figure of the man who first shook his heart, introduced him to the word love.
Khanza sighed deeply, exhaling violently, wiping away her tears. "From now on I have to be strong, I can't be whiny, I'm a mother-to-be, a mother has to be strong" Khanza said, trying to stand up, tying her hair and coming out of the room.
Khanza rubbed his stomach. "You must be hungry, you must be cooking for you" she said, speaking to the baby in her womb.
Just as Khanza was about to walk into the kitchen a knock on the rented door was heard, Khanza walked up to the door and opened it.
"With Khanza's mother?" ask an ojol who carries a plastic bag.
"Yes, Sir. I am Khanza" Khanza replied.
"This is a package" he said, offering a plastic bag.
"Oh, thank you, sir. I'll get the money for a while" Khanza said.
"No need, Mom! The package has been paid, then excuse me first" said the ojol then leave from there.
"Aqila, you're so nice, I'm so lucky to have a friend like you" Khanza said, staring at the bag of food she was holding.
When opening the contents it turns out Aqila bought him rujak and nasi padang.
Khanza glazed staring at the food, indeed he was wanting to eat rujak, but he did not know where to buy.
"Aqila is indeed the best friend," he said then took a mobile phone, took a picture of the package and sent it to Aqila in writing Thank you my best friend.
"Aqila simply replied to the message with an emoticon love."
Without wasting time Khanza directly devoured the food, he was really grateful when he was down there friends who always helped him.
His phone rang quickly Khanza took his phone thinking if it was a phone from Aqila, it turned out he was, wrong. It was a phone call from her husband Abizar. Khanza lazily kept her phone back continuing her food.
The phone rang several times, but Khanza didn't care.
"One message came in, Khanza believed it was a message from Abizar. His heart says not to be read, but his hand says something else, even though it forbids. But his hand still took the phone and saw the contents of the message.
"Good morning, I will always love you" Abizar said.
"You're lying" Khanza subconsciously replied to the message.
"Geez! Why did I reply to him" Khanza said in a panic and quickly wanted to delete it, but unfortunately he was too late, a sign that the message had been read clearly in the message.
Khanza immediately kept his phone on the table.
"Okay. I told you not to read it, don't want to obey!" khanza said, hitting his hand.
Khanza bit his lower lip, painstakingly holding back his desire to see the contents of the message.
"I can't be weak, I can't open my heart to her anymore" Khanza said.
Khanza waited for Aqila's arrival while watching his favorite drama on his laptop, he accidentally did not activate his phone, did not want Abizar to send a message or call him.
When Aqila's office clock comes.
"Let's go to the clinic, I've registered you, you number 4" said Aqila opened the door to Khanza's room
"Yes, I got my hair done first" Khanza said, quickly tidying up her appearance.
They checked Khanza's contents at the clinic and Khanza was delighted to see a small dot on the USG screen as the doctor examined her and heard the sound of the baby's heartbeat.
"How's my baby doctor?"
"So far everything has been good" explained the doctor. "His baby is healthy and she's entering week 6." Continue Doctor.
The nurse helped Khanza clean his stomach, then Khanza sat in front of the doctor.
Doctors wrote prescriptions while advising what to do and avoiding Khanza.
"Is there a cure for my nausea?" ask Khanza.
"Yes, the drug just reduces yes, Mom! Indeed, at this gestational age, nausea and vomiting are common and natural for every pregnant mother to experience easily" explained the doctor.
"Yes doctor! Thank you, we'll excuse you first" Aqila said.
Khanza and Aqila street left the clinic with a continued smile. Khanza rubbed his stomach, still continuing to imagine the sound of a heartbeat that was played by the doctor to him.
At first he was very envious to see other pregnant women who came accompanied by their husbands. However, he was grateful that there was still Aqila accompanying him.
"Is your phone not active?" tanya Aqila who had contacted Khanza after work, but Khanza's phone was off.
"I turned it off on purpose" Khanza said, taking his phone and activating it. Once his phone was active a row of messages from Abizar was seen there, more than 50 messages, no matter what the content of the message.
Without reading the message, Khanza immediately deleted it.
"Khanza, are you sure of your decision to leave Abizar?"
"I'm sure I've decided to live alone with my son."
"What your son will accept if he lives without his father" said Aqila who knows well what it is like to live without a father, he also never felt it. His father died when he was a child. He was always jealous of his friends who had fathers.
Khanza was speechless, Aqila said there was a point, he might be able to live without Abizar. Will his son also be able to be happy without the affection of a father!
His phone again rang and it was a call from Abizar.
"Why he always calls me, doesn't he know that every call hurts me so much" Khanza said, shutting down Abizar's call.
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