Sharing Love: Loving Myself And Herself

Khanza.

Tonight the khanza ate so voraciously, "You know, yesterday I was so hungry in that house" Khanza said.

"They didn't feed you?" ask Aqila.

" I'm on hunger strike" Khanza said with a mouthful of food.

"Don't do that anymore, especially now that you have a fetus in your stomach. You can be angry, but keep eating don't hurt yourself and your baby, those who are wrong should be those who bear the consequences not you. You have to be strong for the sake of your baby" said Aqila giving a side dish to Khanza's plate.

"You're right! I can't be weak, here I'm not wrong. Those who have been lying to me all this time."

"What's your plan?" ask Aqila.

"My stomach is still long visible, I will try to find a job without the knowledge of Abi, I want when I decide to leave, I can live independently. There can be income to support my son" Khanza said passionately.

"Where do you want to go, if you go and stay in this town I'm sure Mr. Abizar can still find and drag you home."

"As for how I should go?, I can't stand living there, I live in a very luxurious house, but I feel crowded there, I don't even dare to go out my room" Khanza said.

"Don't you say, you live in the main room and Mommy Farah lives in which room?" ask Aqila.

"Yes, all this time I was living in the master room and Farah was staying in the lower room" Khanza replied.

"But as long as you're married you're sleeping with Mr. Abizar, right?" 

"Yes, have they been together behind me often," he said just considering that over the past 2 months they have been out of town three times together. " Whether when they were out of town together was not for work, but they were deliberately out of town to be alone behind me," upset Khanza clenched his hands, saying, his eyes again felt hot the wound in his heart again felt sore.

"That's possible, they're totally outrageous. Maybe they all lied to you. You're the wife of an Abizar, but why do you seem to be such a shitty ."Aqila said.

"They are outrageous" Khanza said with an increasingly clenched hand, imagining the moment her husband left town with Farah. " I really didn't suspect when they said goodbye going out of town together, I thought they were really out of town because of work, I even called her Abi. When I called her, Farah was in Abi's arms! Is it like that?" khanza looked at her best friend, looking for the truth of what she thought with her tears coming back.

"Have saved your tears, it is not good to cry for such a man," said Aqila who was also upset at the figure of the boss whom he had admired. 

"Aqila, why is it that even though Abi's brother has lied to me, has done evil to me, but I still love him. How do I get rid of this love?" khanza asked with a voice why.

"If you ask me about it, I don't know, but believe me someday you'll get through it all, time will take away that feeling. Now stay focused on your baby!" Aqila felt sorry to see her best friend who was so innocent had to be trapped with love that hurt her.

"Are you going to keep your pregnancy a secret?" 

"Yes, I will keep it as secret as I can, this baby is my baby. I'm going to find a way to get rid of all this, before Abi's sister realizes this baby" Khanza said, hugging her belly tightly, she won't let anyone separate her from her baby, including Abizar.

"I will remain and help as I can" said Aqila clasping Khanza's hand tightly.

"Thank you, you are my best friend" Khanza said, stretching her arms around Aqila.

"Why do you want to add more?" said Aqila offering her homemade cooking.

"I'm full, I'll get fat if I eat constantly, Abi's brother must be more and more disliked me," he said with a bitter smile.

"Don't talk about it anymore" said Aqila patting her innocent friend's shoulder.

"Thank you, if there's no you, I don't know where else to go."

"That's what friends are for, there are always times when it's hard and happy, it's night, we'd better take a break."

After eating they also rested, they unconsciously ate while talking until late at night.

Although the room in this rented is far from the word luxury is not the same as the main room where he slept for 2 months, but his sleep feels good when in this room, he said, he feels safe and comfortable.

As the sun began to rise Khanza felt so nauseous, he quickly ran towards the bathroom and spewed out all his entrails.

Aqila who heard it also woke up and followed Khanza to the bathroom.

"What's wrong? You okay?" aqila asked so worriedly at the pale face and cold sweat that was drenching Khanza's forehead.

Khansa crying made Aqila become afraid.

"What's the matter, tell me. You don't scare me like this?" ask Aqila in panic.

"How about this, I have symptoms of cravings, what if while there I also experience this, surely Abi will know also I am pregnant. What if he separated me from my baby" Khanza said, hardening his sobs.

Aqila breathed a sigh of relief, she had thought something bad was happening with her baby.

"We'll think about it later? How about today we go to the clinic, ask the doctor for medicine to reduce your nausea," Aqila suggested.

"Will it keep me from getting sick like this and keep my pregnancy hidden?" ask Polos Khanza.

"Hopefully, you can find a reason to stay here."

Khanza thought what Aqila said was right, he could stay a month or two even more according to his wishes and Abizar could not force him to go home. 

"Today are you going to the office?" ask Khanza.

"Yes, I only permit a day. After we get home from the office, we're going straight to the clinic, do you need anything?"

"No, no need. I don't need anything, I see a lot of groceries in the kitchen, I can cook for myself."

"You don't have to cook, I'll buy food for you. You're pregnant keep yourself from getting tired, you just rest."

"I'm sorry, I'm troubling you" Khanza said.

"Sorry and thanks are not in friendship" said Aqila pinching the friend's cheek.

Khanza smiled and wiped his tears, he was so grateful he still had Aqila as his best friend and sister for him.

In this world Khanza only has grandparents who are old, there is no way he burdened them with his problems.  Having a husband who legally binds her with a kabul ijab, hoping there is someone who can protect and take care of her. But it was he who hurt her.

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