Be aground

Third party

It feels like a disaster, when you see people who like you talking to each other. I thought that sharp gaze would turn cold war, in fact Beni greeted Arjun kindly. Then I saw Arjun walk out of the room with a difficult expression.

"How are you doing?" asked Brother Beni with a worried look, when he was sitting on the chair beside my gurney. "You've been crying?" he returned without waiting for an answer from me.

"I'm sorry, it's been a pain for all of you" I said flatly, regardless of the question.

"ah! Why are you so much as me. No one wants to be sick, why apologize. I didn't do anything anyway" he said with a gentle look.

"But Big Brother has come all the way ...."

"I'm worried because I just got my call, man. I'm afraid there's nothing with you. I didn't think you'd make up with Arjun." He cut my sentence with a calm face. "Did you guys fight?" tanyanya.

"No." I'm shaking.

"Then why are your eyes so swollen, and Arjun's face I saw was a little emotional."

Scratch the face of the man beside me. His usual stare was sharp, this time so soft. Hundreds of kilos went through just to make sure I was okay. Then when he met, the woman he was going to meet was with another man. However, he still looked calm facing me. Although I had an emotional moment with his question about my relationship with Arjun.

"I was sad to have to be treated for a few days. While the registration schedule is closed the day after tomorrow. Though I've been trying to catch up to the court schedule next week," I'm weak.

"Already, now you think about your health condition. Don't be out of pursuing graduation, so ignore health."

I took a slow breath. It's true what he said. During the thesis, I ignored my body condition. Sometimes I even forget to eat. Then chasing after the guidance counselor who drained my energy and emotions, worsened my health.

"Run ... Before I expect more, may I ask you something? I know this is not the right time . I just don't want to waste time waiting for certainty ...." Brother Beni rubbed his face slowly that looked tired. "Do you still have your ex's hopes?" tanyanya slow.

I'm speechless. After parting ways with Arjun, I had always hoped that what was said about our customary ban, was just a joke. It's true, hope is still left to return with Arjun.

"I'm actually confused. Arjun told me that he was not his parents' son. Means no customary prohibition will bind us ...." I paused my sentence. Waiting for the reaction of the unblinking man looking at me.

"If you still want to go back to him, do it" he said slowly.

"I'm afraid to disappoint my sister." I said slowly.

"It is precisely if you force yourself to have a relationship with me, while your heart is for another, that will disappoint me" he said without letting go of his gaze.

God, why would I make a man this good get hurt. I know there's a wound in those shady eyes. It's just that he kept it well.

"For matters of the heart, you don't have to force it, Run. If it's not our destiny to be together, I can't force it. Not to be in a relationship it has to be comfortable with each other." Back he spoke.

I just nodded weakly, out of words. Didn't expect his reaction to be this calm. I thought he'd show his disappointment, he actually locked the meeting. Even so, I was still able to feel the anger behind his calm demeanor

I realized one thing, all this time I did admire Brother Beni, just limited to a sense of admiration, nothing more. There was no fear of losing her, as I felt for Arjun.

Arjun went back to the room with his mother, making our conversation have to stop. Beni got up from his seat. Welcoming the two who just entered.

Beni left the room as soon as Arjun and his mother sat down. Maybe a sense of condolence, or still feel tired because driving from Jakarta makes him choose to leave.

Mama Arjun's visit seemed to treat my bad taste. Her maternal smile made me feel like my mother was with me. Even the middle-aged woman did not hesitate to offer to accompany me in the hospital.

***

Early in the morning, Arjun and Beni's brother came back together to the hospital. Arjun as usual, was still staring fiercely at Kak Beni, while Kak Beni seemed to casually respond to Arjun's attitude.

"Well, the bodyguard's here. Auntie's coming home first, huh?" kelakar mama Arjun as if not to interfere in the affairs of his son.

"Ha-ha, I just want to say goodbye, Tan," said the eagle-eyed man chuckling at Arjun's mama's claws.

"Eh? How do you want to go home?"

"Fear later if the shadow has started to jam."

"Oh yeah-huh. Yeah, well, Auntie lives first. Be careful on the road, huh?"

They shake. As always, Beni always kisses the back of the hand every time she shakes hands with an older person.

"Anterin mom, yuk Jun." Like understanding that Beni's sister needed time to talk to me, Aunt Aliya—mama Arjun, pulled her out.

"Thank God you look fresher" he said when we were alone. A thin smile curled up on his lips.

"I slept well all night. Until I realized my infusion had been replaced. Aunt Aliya didn't seem to sleep waiting for me all night" I said with a smile.

For the first time, I feel refreshed waking up this morning in a few months. Maybe the effect of the medicine given makes me able to rest well.

"Sister, don't tell Viennese or mommy that I'm sick. I don't want to make you worry" I asked expectantly.

"Yes, just calm down. I'll shut up."

"Thank you, Brother."

"I'm saying goodbye, yeah. Success for your trial later. Just exchanging news is okay, right?" ask her with a thin smile.

"Ha-ha, of course Brother."

"Yes, already. I'm leaving first." His big hand patted my shoulder slowly.

"Thank you for coming here, brother."

"Tell Arjun, he doesn't have to worry that his girl will turn away. His heart was already unfeasible to the others, "his message before turning around left me.

I didn't return his words. My tongue. Sometimes, other people are better able to understand what I think, than myself.

One feeling that later stuck as if released with the departure of Kak Beni. The misinterpreted admiration for the man that had made me worried, was answered already. I think it's the same feeling I felt for Arjun. It's just a momentary feeling.

Arjun returned to the room a few minutes after Beni left. His face looks riled up. Dark circles under his eyes indicate he hasn't slept all night.

"Have you come home?" I held him when he approached.

"It ...." He snorted softly sitting in the empty gurney opposite.

"Lo why?" I pretended I didn't understand what he was feeling. I know, he is still upset with the arrival of Kak Beni to Bandung when he hopes our relationship can be restored.

"ah! It's okay," he still brimmed with a grim face.

"Jun, my goody bag, where did you put it?" I'm trying to switch the conversation. Anyway, right now I still want to focus on finishing my script. Then take care of the feelings.

"It's already home. Tomorrow God willing I go to the department of registration of the trial. Don't worry about it." His voice sounded cold.

His jealous behavior makes me anxious. Suddenly, I had a bad idea in my brain.

"Jun, here."

He got down from the empty gurney where he was sitting, moved to the chair beside me.

"So Brother Beni messages, Lo do not have to worry about the girl that Lo dear will turn to him. The girl still loves you" I whispered.

Eyes widened. I looked at him with an incredulous look.

"Can I repeat?"

"Pay!" I said with a pouting face.

"How much I pay to listen back." A happy hue was clearly drawn on his face. "Run, please be my future. I'm gonna try to be a decent guy for Lo. Maybe for now I can't meet that criteria, but I'll try my hardest to make Lo happy." His eyes glazed over as he said that sentence.

"Lo's existence has made me quite happy, Jun. For a few months I have been losing. In fact, it's not only Lo who needs me, it's better, I need Lo," said I steady.

"Gue thought, my future would run aground without Lo."

"Lebay Lo ah!" I saw his expression.

Though many things made me almost feel like I was losing hope for the future. It turns out that God still leaves a speck of despair for me. Just like Arjun said, I was also discouraged when some of my dreams almost ran aground when faced with the trials He gave.

I know, my journey is long. We still have a lot to go through together. At least right now I have people who love me. Those who encourage me to continue to believe in God's good plan. A few times I almost doubted it. In fact, this time God just wanted to see how strong I was able to pass the trials he gave.

Believe me, if all the plans that you have arranged in such a way run aground. God is preparing a better plan for you. You just have to rely on your faith in Him. No matter how bad you are.

***

Hi All,

Thank you for supporting me to this day. Make other author colleagues. Thank you very much.

Make friends who like my writing, yuk stop by my ig @ayanawawi there is another link of my writing that is also finished. The link can be seen in the bio.