Be aground

Weddings

Arriving at the boarding house, I saw the place we always sat if he visited. It all happened again until I always took a long breath. Opening the gate, the door, everything made me always remember him. The figure that is always present in my every day turns out to be only a shadow that I will never see again.

Even tears would not shed again because the pain was too deep for me to always be hurt. If it was me who was wrong, shouldn't he say it instead of siding with someone else. If I don't live up to her heart, why am I the one she left behind? Why do I feel like everyone is pointing the blame at me in this relationship?

I have tried, even I have never complained about everything that has happened, but I have always been set as the one who has ruined everything. The pain that could not even go away until now made me always end up blaming everything on me. I don't understand what kind of relationship he wants from me. Everything has happened and everything has to happen.

****

A few weeks have passed, I resumed my routine that had to finish the lecture that would soon be completed.well I spent my time focusing on college and brought a comic that made me forget his presence. Until one day on the day I didn't do anything for a week. A week that bored me with everything. The friend who even stayed with me was going and playing with another friend.

I looked around and tried to go through everything, until I who played HP to throw away suddenly came to a halt and saw the day and date. And then, I remembered everything again. Yes, everything that will end everything about him in my life.

June 24th, 2020 where they will tie the wedding vows, a date that I still remember in every time I feel broken. A date that really stuck in my mind. I'm like a fool looking at dates while enduring pain and even tears don't solve everything.

I was alone in the destruction that I was so unable to express, that not even the sound of crying could be heard in my cries. I held everything back, to the point of making me tired to sleep. Until the afternoon had come, I who with puffy eyes did my routine was confined to a sick mood.

***

The morning came, I tried to get up by forgetting the incident last night and hope that time will pass soon and nothing will happen in my life. Everything I hope is over soon and won't bring up about it in my life. Until the sound of my motorbike stopped right in front of the hostel. The sound of the motor is so familiar that I often hear. And I quickly closed the boarding door and closed everything. I hid in the corner of the window.

The voice called my name softly from outside the gate, even though I did not approach it and let it keep calling me. I kept my mouth shut while shaking. I knew that voice, one I wished I would never hear again, but why did he call my name back. Why was he right in front of the hostel after the day the wedding took place in his life. What else is coming from me?

I don't even bother her anymore, but why after her wedding day she came back to me like nothing happened. I just chuckled as if he was enjoying the little game he was playing. I laughed as if I could do it with all my heart by coming to me, thinking I would accept his presence. Was I that stupid in front of him that he easily approached me? Does his wife know that he's coming to my place? What was thought until he was that close came to me.

I who still saw him in front of the hostel directly moved to the room and took HP and directly chat Mother.

“Mother, Dika came to ku” kost I said

Waiting for mom's chat, I kept hearing Dika still calling my name from outside. Until the sound of the motor turns on and goes from the front of the boarding house. And suddenly my HP notification vibrated.

“Why is he coming again?” ask mom

“I don't know ma'am, she called my name from the outside. But I didn't come out to see him.” I said

“What he was fighting with his wife,” said mother

At that moment I fell silent, when my mother said wife. Ah wife her name has now changed yes it turns out. From a friend, changed woman snatch boyfriend, and now has become wife.

“Entai ma'am, I don't know bu.” reply me either

“Already let it go, later if he comes again do not need to meet again.” said Mother.

“Good bu” answered me briefly and ended the message with Mom.

Leaning my head against the wall, I looked back like a fool. If only I could go to a place where no one can meet, I would go and never come back.

That way I will live a new life with a new atmosphere even without those I know in my life, because for me now there is no place that makes me comfortable, friends, family, family, even everything now makes me feel foreign in this quiet place.