Be aground

Unacknowledged

We also do the days as usual, we even spend more time in the middle of the night, when Dika has come home from work. Even if Dika felt tired, Dika would go straight home, but say goodbye to me first. Happy of course, even I hope Dika will always behave like this to me. Because for me he will now be my encouragement for all my activities. Everything needs a process and I hope Dika always does this to me. Giving me time even if it was just a few minutes, it was already a happiness I could not express.

*****

At first I thought it would hold up at any moment, but gradually, everything went back to how it used to be. Like a bitch that never changes, even spending time with female friends without seeing me who is waiting for him. I was getting saturated with Dika's endless attitude. Always quarreling just because of the time that his co-worker always snatched away. Although I was angry, Dika always ignored my feelings, even Dika sometimes bravely showed off their friendship to me.

I, who was used to seeing that, just fell silent without saying anything. Because in fact everything really makes me like a doll that is now numb. Dika who always tells the story of the woman who again approached him, the more the day makes me upset, until finally my annoyance peaked

“Are you happy to be captured by many women?” ask me on Dika

“What did you say?” dika

“You never change, although I always say this” I said

“I told you, it's not my fault if I'm that handsome in front of them” Dika said with her pedal

“Handsome ?, Well you are indeed handsome even because your handsome makes them fascinated by it” I said

“If you know about it, then it is not my fault” said Dika

“Are you not tired ?” my word

“Tired because of what, because of them?. Of course not, but rather I like it” said Dika

“But I'm tired of Dika, I'm tired of having to be patient hearing you always talk about them when I'm with me” said I was angry

“What the heck are you, don't be weird” said Dika

“Any-weird you said, try me ask you, they know not if you have a girlfriend ?” say

“Of course not, they know that I'm still alone right now” said Dika without thinking about my feelings

“Of course my savior” said Dika

“I'm your girlfriend, not your savior. Even you yourself don't recognize me as your girlfriend” I said

“Dating does not mean it must be recognized in front of friends right ?” dika

“What ?” I said wonder

“Tell me do not know we can be together or not later, it is better now we are like this than later we admit in front of my friends even though tomorrow it has broken” said Dika

“Are you aware of what you said it was ?” say

“Of course, and it's not wrong” Dika said

“Me and you have been in a relationship for over 4 years, but until now you have not acknowledged me as your girlfriend in front of your friends. Whereas I always boast of you in front of my friends” I said

“That's your right to do that” Dika said

Hearing Dika's words, I just fell silent and cried alone

“Do you have to keep crying incoherently like this?” dika

I stayed down and felt broken

“Ahh it's up to you, I'm tired” said Dika who immediately went to let me alone cry in the dark of the night.

I was again disappointed in the relationship that was now more tenuous for me to maintain. Tired of pretending that all is well which ends in solitude alone.