Be aground

Completion

I was really hurt and devastated, how could I love a man who never even appreciated me as much as I appreciated him. How can I put my love for him this deep, after what I've been with him for so many years. I don't know what makes me so stupid as to maintain a relationship that is even one-sided like this. But I pretended that everything was fine, that the friends who saw our relationship were happy because our relationship was so good. Even though I was really hurt, I gave up on loving her.

*****

The long night with him, made me sick of being around him. I tried to endure it but it all ended up making me want to sleep on this exhausting day. Dika and I remained silent for a long time.

“Why are you silent?” dika

“Ah, no my head suddenly hurts” I said lowered my head

Dika quickly sorted my head. While I kept holding back the crying

“I know you're angry because of my attitude, but I haven't been able to change that” said Dika

I just kept quiet hearing Dika

“I can't hold you back, but give me a chance to change what happened. I will try to be good even if it takes a process. And I want you to always be by my side when it's all going your way” said Dika

I just nodded my head as Dika said that. Not because I do not love him, obviously the affection never decreases even though the disappointment is always given to me. I love her so much, I always try to keep my promises to her. The promise that I have always said, I will always keep, but different from Dika who said he would promise but never kept even if it was only once. I kept quiet without saying anything, it really made me realize that this relationship was just going unilaterally. Even so, I don't want to end this relationship, because to me he is everything in my life.

“Confidently, I never thought of releasing you” I said

“I know you love me sincerely” Dika said

“If you know, then until when should I receive all this?” say

“Sorry, I will try but give me time to process. Because all is not as easy as saying” said Dika

I know what Dika said is true, because it will not be easy for him to change, but because my sense of belief in him that will change makes me try again to survive in this relationship

“Alright, I will try to wait for you. Rest assured I will never let you go in my life, for to me you are everything. And you know that too. I'm really sincere to you, so you don't have to be afraid of anything else.” I said while looking at Dika

“Well, I believe in your words, because until now, I have always been an obstacle to our relationship. You are always patient and always supportive of me. I am lucky to know you” said Dika

We smiled again and nothing happened. That's what we are, trouble and then better. After that, we will return to what we used to be, spend a lot of time on that day and then on our second day like we do not know each other. Everything really makes me not know what to do, but I'm sure it'll all be beautiful when it's all gone by over time. I look forward to the happiness that brought me and being with her in a relationship that I can maintain for the rest of my life.