Be aground

The New Confusion

Like a loss of spirit, that's what I felt after reading a message from Runa saying she was going to go with Andin at break time. Though I was hoping, I could meet him again, spend time resting together.

Wonder why time seems so fast when with him, suddenly slowed down when he was not there. It was thought to ask him to accompany me, but I paused. I don't want to make him feel like I'm too possessive.

"Lesit up, Bro!" Riko's clap shocked me, so that the phone that I was holding was slammed.

"Siaul, you're just ngagetin!" rutukku picked up the phone that landed successfully in the corner of the secretariat room.

"Partially, from earlier ngeliatin hp richly squirming the face of a girlfriend, viewed teroos, "chuckle Riko unfettered. My face is getting hotter.

"Eh, so what's my advice? So don't you shoot Runa?" the question was after the laughter died down.

"Udah," I said briefly, suddenly unable to hold a smile when Runa's face suddenly flashed.

"Wow! Good news, here's how I saw your look." Riko's grin widened. He took a sitting position opposite me, putting on a serious face, as if waiting for me to tell a story.

"Hha-ha ... You say, I just need courage."

"Keep, accepted, is it the same doi?" Riko pulled down her eyebrows with a wide grin.

"Yoha! Thanks yeah, if you didn't push me yesterday, maybe until now I'm still silent, self-styled."

"Well! Kan, what I told you. Even if rejected, just look for another girl, you're a man, Bro. Yesterday could be upset because of the affairs of women," said Riko fiery.

"Crazy, lo. Which affairs of the heart can be that easy," I protested while choking.

"Oh well, you're complicated very matters of the heart."

"Entar, you haven't done it yet," I grumbled to leave the secretariat.

The last lecture schedule will begin soon. I'd better hurry to class instead of listening to Riko talk at length about romance. The song is like an expert, but the same as me yesterday, acute singles.

For me all this time, it's better to be single than to play with the heart. If there is no feeling with someone, it is better not to force to establish a relationship. Unless you want to try to change how someone feels about you. It certainly takes a lot of effort. His name is feeling, nothing is static, he is dynamic. You'll never know God's secret when it comes to feelings. But still, my principle is that I will be in a relationship with a person who is able to enter my heart and he accepts my feelings.

During the lecture hours, many times I glanced at my phone, hoping that Runa would give me some news. But nil. I lost focus, my mind was only fixed on Runa. I did not expect, my mind turned out to be even more chaotic because it continued to remember the narrow-eyed girl.

Uh! Focus ... Focus ... Shame on Runa if my grade this semester falls.

Returning to try to focus the mind on the ongoing lecture, finally the mind covered in Runa's face can slowly be removed for a moment.

Just when the last course was over, my phone vibrated. A message I was waiting for finally came.

[Gue wait in the usual place, yes] a message from Runa sounded.

With a quick gesture, I replied to her message, [OK, beib 😘]

Not waiting for long the reply appeared, [ih, what the hell, use call "beib" that, geuleuh tau! 🤣🤣]

Suddenly my face flushed. Choosing not to reply again, I rushed towards the park, where we used to make arrangements. I could immediately recognize the girl as she approached the park area.

Runa was sitting on a bench not far from my building, reading a book. His long hair that was early this morning was curled, already lying originally above his nape. He never felt like he was brushing his hair all day. However, even so he never wanted to cut his hair.

"Gue was lazy to the salon," she said when I asked her why she had lengthened her hair.

Runa is not a girl who likes to pamper herself to the salon. For him to the salon was just a waste of time and money. The girl is indeed more calculated if it is a matter of time and money since the death of her father. She's not the kind of girl who likes to spend her money on things she doesn't think are important. As well as the affairs of time, he really uses his spare time for useful things.

It was his persistence that amazed me even more. There is no word of prestige in his dictionary to find a halal rezki.

"Sorry, long wait, huh?" tanyaku patted the shoulder of the girl who was solemnly reading the book, then sat down next to her.

Trying to ease the sudden thumping back roar as the clear eyes looked at me. A bit excessive indeed, but ever since I knew Runa's feelings, the pounding that I had been able to withstand, now seemed unable to control.

"Eh, no," he said with a warm smile that immediately spread to the heart.

The rhythm of my heart came back irregular looking at that smile.

"Lo what the hell, wear beb-beb everything, ticklish me!" it was with a crisp laugh that felt somewhat awkward.

"It's just the geer, I mean duck," I said.

"That means you like ducks, dong," the ledek stuck out its tongue and gently poked the side of my head.

"Biarin, this beautiful duck," I replied with a face that suddenly heated up. I suck at the business of flailing.

"Start brave mengegombal, nih," kekeh Runa with face also blushing.

"Never mind anything dong. Udah road yuk ah," invite me to end the event mocked each other. Rather than running out of words, it is better to be stopped.

"Where are you going? Today I want to make a cake, make a feast tomorrow."

"Oh, if that's your house, then. I don't have any plans either."

"okay ... Yuk cabs," he said, rising from his seat.

Although it was a bit awkward, but Runa seemed to be trying to behave normally. Just like before when we were made, he still held my hand when walking. My hands are suddenly cold. I know Runa must have noticed, but she doesn't seem to care.

The boisterous sounds of students filling the park instantly disappeared as my footsteps and Runa left the place, passing through the building of my direction towards the parking lot.

***

"Udah so make a blog for the promotion of cakes made, lo?" I asked to break the silence that began to leave the campus.

"Huh? Uh, not yet. Not yet at the cafe."

"Entar I help, will you? But the photos you've already made a file, right?"

"Udah, anyway. But what's the trouble?" Runa turned her face towards me.

"No, love me, I'll make it at home."

"You're the best, deh, Jun," he pinched my cheek.

The way to joke is still the same, but my feeling is that Runa is also trying to make everything feel like normal again. I could feel that there was actually an awkward feeling that he was feeling.

I wonder if other people's relationships that start from the status of friends and become lovers also feel the same as me. Ordinary things feel light to talk about, suddenly feel awkward. The usual sluggish relationship feels a bit stiff.

Hopefully this is just because of the recent status change. I hope that tomorrow we will be back to how we were. Talk about anything without any awkwardness created.